Dog Days - Wolfstar RP iamcrystalqueer+Nymeria

Nymeria · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2025 9:00 am

Remus nodded slowly at that, almost automatically. He took a long moment to simply look at Sirius, fumbling to gather his thoughts, feeling woefully unprepared to give Sirius the care he so clearly deserved; he wasn’t stupid, he knew their relationship was a minefield, probably even more so now than the last time they saw each other.
He eventually dropped his gaze to Sirius’ hands wrapped around the mug, finding it a little jarring how familiar Sirius’ hands still felt, having always been long and slender.
“Right,” Remus eventually said, just to stop the silence from gaining a foothold again, even if it meant filling it with pure nonsense. “I don’t know, just felt like a bad cuppa was adding insult to injury.”
It took him another few moments to properly narrow in to Sirius’ reply, eyes once again finding his face. Remus had to fight the impulse to sit back up straight, forcing himself to approach everything a bit calmer, though everything within him wanted to fix things, whatever it took. “Are you cold?”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2025 3:19 pm

Sirius shrugged at that, not really sure how he felt about much of anything anymore, but he knew that he liked the sensation of the warm mug between his hands. It really was the closest thing to comfort that he had had in a very long time.
“I don’t think so,” he stated, knowing that it was probably weird to not be sure how you felt, but it really was the best reply that he could give to Remus; his head swimming with the first proper and human conversation he had had since escaping.
“I think I’m used to being cold, ya know?” He added on, trying desperately to elaborate, wanting to be able to at least give Remus that much but he wasn’t sure he actually succeeding in explaining anything at all. He didn’t want to be a pity party, but as he looked down at his own hands wrapped around the mug, only able to see Remus as a shape in the background, he suddenly felt so much at once that it almost took his breath away.
“I just had to see him,” he suddenly said, images of Harry flashing for his eyes, feeling his chest tighten from just how much he looked like James and how Harry really was the closest that Sirius was ever going to get to ever see him again. “I just really needed to see him.”

Nymeria · **Posted:** Tue May 20, 2025 3:56 pm

While Remus wasn’t actually sure whether or Sirius spoke of James or Harry, he nodded, a bone-deep understanding of the sentiment. Remus hadn’t even been gone in the way Sirius had been, and still, seeing Harry for the first time this time last year had almost brought him to his knees, overwhelmed by the simultaneous feeling of losing and gaining something.
“Yeah,” he encouraged, a soft exhale.
It was the most Remus had heard Sirius speak, his voice ragged but not raised or erratic like it had been at the shack, and he desperately wanted to encourage him to go on. It made the memory they were reminiscing pale in comparison, this moment so much more valuable Remus, soaking in the old familiarity of Sirius' voice and cadence.
He didn’t say it, though, not sure Sirius would agree. It didn’t stop a soft smile from pulling at Remus’ lips, figuring it didn’t really matter anyway. “He’s so grown up.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Wed May 21, 2025 12:55 am

Sirius nodded softly at that, feeling on the verge of tears from the realisation of just how much he had missed out on.
Even in the middle of a war, Sirius had always assumed that he would get to see Harry grow up, his arrival having been one of few things that had actually given him hope in a time that had felt so hopeless to everyone. Seeing him now, 13 years old and already the world on his shoulders, was almost too much for Sirius to bear.
“He really is,” Sirius said and finally looked up at Remus, feeling weak and vulnerable, but the soft smile on Remus’ lips did soothe some of the aching, trying to come to terms with the fact that this was probably a good thing.
“You really been his teacher this whole year?”

Nymeria · **Posted:** Wed May 21, 2025 3:17 am

A laugh was almost punched out of Remus, a sad little sound. Finally sitting forward, Remus rested his elbows on the table, scrubbing a hand over his face.
When Remus was first offered the job, there had been no one he had been more keen to share it with than James and Sirius, for the first time in a decade having managed to forget they weren’t around, hadn’t been for ages, nor would ever be again. Getting to talk to Sirius about it was surreal, like talking to a ghost.
“Yeah,” he said, an exhausted fondness in his voice. “His and about 700 other students'.”
He dropped his hands, blinking at Sirius as he once again focused his vision. Being back at Hogwarts had in many ways been terrible, the backdrop for something far less complicated than the subsequent war. The version of Sirius sitting in front of him was devastatingly different from the teenager Remus still saw out of the corner of his eyes in classrooms and corridors.
“He’s amazing,” he went on, the smile persistent on his lips. “He’s just as you would expect. You’ll see.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Wed May 21, 2025 3:53 pm

There really was no helping the jealousy that roared through Sirius at that, feeling so completely and utterly lost in this world that he no longer recognised, while Remus had gotten to get to know James’ son and see him as an adult.
It made no sense, because Sirius knew that he would have never become a teacher, nor would he have wanted to, and there was no way that Remus would have done that out of ill will to him. Still, it stung him deeply and he tried his best to keep in the tears as he nodded softly, trying to recognise Remus’ words as the kindness they actually were.
“Tell me about him,” he stated, his voice tight but he desperately wanted to know everything there was to know about his godson.

Nymeria · **Posted:** Thu May 22, 2025 2:20 pm

Feeling tender and bruised as it were, Remus felt a very specific type of heartbreak having to introduce Sirius to their late friends’ son, the feeling unlike any sense of loss he had felt yet. Remus wasn’t supposed to have to do that.
He, however, understood the urgency, happy to indulge Sirius in conversation, any conversation. He took a breath, considering it.
“He reminds me so much of James,” he said, the only place it felt appropriate to start and the thing that had hit Remus like a ton of bricks. “But he’s so much like Lily, too. He’s so clever.”
His gaze rested aimlessly on Sirius, because there really wasn’t much else to look at in the bare-boned kitchen. Not meaning to scrutinise Sirius, Remus still tried to gauge what was going on inside his head; if that even meant anything to Sirius, if he remembered what they were like.
“You saw, he’s so incredibly kind and brave.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Sat May 24, 2025 3:02 pm

What little Sirius had gotten to see of Harry really confirmed what Remus was saying. He had definitely seen a lot of James in him, purely looks wise Harry was almost a carbon copy, other than the eyes of course, but getting to see how beautifully James and Lily’s traits were mixed in the boy had really made Sirius’ heart swell, unable to stop himself from wondering just how proud his friends would have been of him had they been around to know him.
“He really is the best of them,” Sirius stated in a voice that was so utterly heartbroken that he was surprised himself that he was even capable of still sitting up.

Nymeria · **Posted:** Sun May 25, 2025 6:32 am

Sirius looked exhausted, like each thing Remus said was bearing down on him harder than his sentence had. For how much Remus wanted to gift Sirius a normal conversation, and to treat him like he was a person, whole and unchanged, the actual circumstance was different. It probably wasn’t a stretch to believe Sirius hadn’t even felt human in years, making the emotional pendulum swing back into feeling like Remus was intruding rather than extending him kindness.
It made Remus’ smile grow a little complicated, trying to smile through another wave of guilt.
“Yeah,” he agreed, a little tamely.
His eyes dipped aimlessly to the mug in Sirius’ hands, which must have gone cold again.
“Are you tired?” Remus’ attention returned onto Sirius’s face, once again facing the fact that the answer was obvious. “You can go to bed, if you like. We can talk some other time.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Sun May 25, 2025 12:30 pm

Sirius desperately wanted to keep talking with Remus, finding that he was the only thing that had made him feel even remotely human since coming back; however he could also feel the exhaustion setting into his bones and knew that if he didn’t go to bed soon he would probably pass out.
“Yeah,” he said, gingerly unwrapping his fingers from the yet again cold mug of tea. Still, he hesitated in his chair, feeling the fear creeping up on him again.
He had spent so much time alone and removed from any and all human contact, and the idea of giving that up already again was almost too much for him to bear.
“Would you stay with me?” He asked, looking up at Remus with pleading eyes, just wanting to have him around now that they were finally reunited. “I don’t think I can be alone.”

Nymeria · **Posted:** Mon May 26, 2025 3:35 pm

Sirius’ question took Remus aback, subtly but visibly; it changed his expression, the way he looked at Sirius. The sincerity of the request was almost jarring in its familiarity, a flashed image of Sirius when they were half their age, kids. It brought an impulse to give Sirius anything he asked tumbling forward to the surface, intertwined with a decade of feeling absolutely powerless to do anything for Sirius at all.
Simultaneously, there was a brief moment where Remus thought of Miriam back home, who he hadn’t seen since the beginning of term almost a year ago, and who was expecting him back tonight.
“Yeah,” he replied regardless, easily and immediately. He straightened his posture slightly. “Of course.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Thu May 29, 2025 3:07 am

Normally, Sirius would have never even considered that Remus might turn him down, but they had changed so much and Sirius hadn’t even realised how scared he had been until Remus gave him the affirmative. Part of his request really was just the desire to not be alone anymore, however he also needed to be able to assure himself that Remus really was there and wasn’t going to leave him again.
“Thank you,” he said, feeling exposed and vulnerable for expressing any kind of desire, but he also knew that their dynamic was so fraught by now that he was going to have to if he wanted that comfort.
With some effort, Sirius got up from the table, feeling the exhaustion so deep in his bones that it felt like a miracle that he could stand.

Nymeria · **Posted:** Thu May 29, 2025 4:15 am

There was a brief moment where Remus’ mind was reeling with what he had just agreed to. He had never been afraid of Sirius - wasn’t of this version of him, either - but Remus simultaneously felt very aware of the fact that he didn’t really know him any longer, and didn’t know for certain how to usher Sirius through this. Really, the gut-punch reaction Remus had was that Sirius should have been at St. Mungo’s, that Remus wasn’t sure he wouldn’t make things worse; quickly realising that he was unable to treat Sirius with the required impartiality, still too familiar with who he used to be.
It took Sirius getting up for Remus to mirror it, only realising once standing up that he didn’t know this house at all, either. He had come here in town with the Order and ushered into the kitchen, having not given a single thought to the rest of the house. He had no idea where Sirius had been sleeping this past week.
For a moment, Remus simply lingered, fingers barely brushing the table top, before having to forfeit feeling in control.
“Do you need anything?” he asked softly.

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Sun Jun 01, 2025 1:56 pm

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh at the question, a weak and hollow sound more than an expression of joy. He honestly had no idea whether or not he needed anything, as everything he could think of was going to bed and hopefully finally be able to get some much needed rest.
“Just stay with me,” he said, as it really was the only thing he could think of. He had missed Remus so desperately, knowing that he really was everything that he had left, and Sirius was clinging to that last connection to his humanity like it was a life raft.
“Please,” he stated and vaguely reached out with his hand towards Remus, mostly just hoping that he would follow him to his room.

Nymeria · **Posted:** Sun Jun 01, 2025 3:44 pm

While the sound Sirius made was heartbreaking enough, it was his answer that felt like a jab between Remus’ ribs, like puncturing a lung rather than getting the breath knocked out of him.
Remus could cry, both with the overwhelming feeling of an old void being filled, and with the overwhelming feeling that Sirius was asking too little after so many years of nothing. Beyond his freedom, Sirius deserved a home cooked meal, a warm bath, a plush bed, and still Remus fell short of giving it to Sirius, simply because he hadn’t asked for it, and even the thought of overstepping felt violent. Just Remus staying felt pitifully little, like a lie.
Regardless, he stepped around the table to take Sirius’ hand, tightly, having to remind himself that currently Remus was genuinely all Sirius had left, whether or not it was him he really wanted. “I will.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Tue Jun 03, 2025 2:52 pm

The feeling of Remus’ hand in his was almost enough to make Sirius cry, for now just leaving him teary eyed. He didn’t realise just how much he had missed casual human touch until Remus so graciously bestowed it upon him. It was giving him the last boost of energy to go to his room for the night, even if he found it suffocating most of the time.
As they reached the room, Sirius didn’t even think as he approached the bed, hand still clasped with Remus’ as he sat down without much grace.

Nymeria · **Posted:** Tue Jun 03, 2025 4:27 pm

Sirius’ hand still clasped in his, Remus came to a stop in front of him. Sitting down like that, Sirius looked tiny, drowning in the clothes someone had provided for him. Just as the room wasn’t much nicer than the dormitory style rooms of the first war, but it was far cry from how the cells at Azkaban must have been.
It made Remus’ heart ache, finding it unexpectedly heartbreaking to see Sirius enveloped in something that was nice, but only relatively. In the grand scheme of things, everything Sirius had been offered was pitiful at best and scraps at the worst, and Remus thought he deserved so much better.
“C’mon, Pads,” he urged gently, leaning in and reaching across Sirius with his free hand to tug the duvet further off the unmade bed, a quiet invitation. “Get some rest.”

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2025 3:36 pm

Fuelled entirely by muscle memory, Sirius found himself letting go of Remus’ hand to instead wrap his arms around his neck and waist. It felt almost heavenly to be this close to someone else again, especially with that someone being Remus, and Sirius just really wasn’t willing to let him go.
“Come lay with me,” he said in a soft voice, so desperate for as much human connection as he could manage to soak up. He really had missed Remus so terribly, but he was also deafeningly aware of the fact that almost anyone would do right in that moment.
“Please Moony, don’t let me sleep alone.”

Nymeria · **Posted:** Wed Jun 04, 2025 5:35 pm

Sirius’ touch, his words, made Remus’ heart skip a beat, taken aback. They had hugged at the Shack, but this was different, the emotion suspended in the space between a far cry from the joy of first seeing each other. This felt far more reminiscent of seeing each other in the depths of the first war, not as much joy as it was relief, or even simply just the postponement of loneliness.
Familiar in its own way, Remus met the embrace halfway, his hands settled at Sirius’ ribs. The narrowness of his ribcage, however, cemented the fact that while this felt so familiar, it was an entirely different Sirius that sat in front of him. Not that it mattered.
A quiet and gentle acceptance, Remus’ hands brushed along to Sirius’ back, a loose hug. Trying to gently manoeuvre in Sirius’ embrace without unintentionally discouraging it, Remus clumsily kicked off his shoes before giving in, leaning into Sirius.
“C’mon,” he simply repeated, wanting Sirius to settle onto the bed.

iamcrystalqueer · **Posted:** Sat Jun 07, 2025 4:24 pm

Once he could feel that Remus was giving into the embrace, Sirius relaxed as well, laying down on the bed but pulling Remus down first. He wanted to be able to lay on Remus’ chest, needing to be able to feel someone else close to him, and he could think of no better way to get what he needed than to lay on Remus’ chest.
When they were finally settled on the bed, Sirius almost felt like crying, feeling surrounded by the first comfortable scent he had smelled in years; even if Remus did smell quite different by now.
Still, it was enough of Remus that Sirius definitely felt like coming home.

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