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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2022 6:05 am 

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“Spectacular,” Remus said the moment Sirius was within earshot, the word pushed out of him almost in a laugh. He had had a great time watching Sirius on stage, and it left him filled with emotions larger than what could be contained within him, bubbling out in smiles and laughs. Everything felt so silly to him, but he was nothing short of thrilled.
Welcoming Sirius’ proximity and adjusting to the towering height of him, Remus pushed himself away from the bar to straighten his posture. His hand lingered thoughtlessly around the base of his glass, the only anchor to keep him from further stretching to match Sirius’ eyeline.
“Truly, mate, you were so good,” he went on, smile and eyes bright and yet again on the verge of laughing. “Congratulations.”


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 03, 2022 11:28 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The sheer delight in Remus’ expression almost took Sirius’ legs out, feeling relieved that he had reached the bar before having to hear such lovely compliments. He hadn’t really known what to expect, if anything at all, but just the fact that Remus had evidently enjoyed himself was enough to make his heart pound away in his chest, dizzy with what Remus had taken away from his performance.
“Thank you,” he said with a shy smile, once again feeling very self conscious, but really in a rather good way.
“I’m happy you enjoyed yourself,” he added, trying to be modest, but he doubted that he was able to hide how much he enjoyed the compliment, feeling himself absolutely beaming under the praise.
“Are you in a hurry to leave? Or will you keep me company for a drink?”

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:14 pm 

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Remus nodded in confirmation.
“Yeah, I can stay,” he answered, so readily it must have shown that he had expected the promise to stay and watch Sirius perform to extend beyond the actual performance.
He once again shifted his stance, unable to find an ease in their conversation, caught between wanting to meet Sirius at eye level and wanting him to tower above him.
It brought a crooked little smile to his lip as he relaxed against the edge of a stool, increasing their height difference by another few inches. “As I said, I don’t have any plans after this.”


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:59 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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There really was something different about seeing Remus at the bar and knowing that he was there for him.
Sirius knew better than to think too much of it, even if any and all attention that Remus gave him made his head spin and his heart beat harder in his chest. It was stupid and he knew that much, but sometimes it was just so easy for him to believe that maybe Remus was a little interested in him as well.
“I’ll get us a drink then, what’s your poison?” He asked as he attempted to get the bartender’s attention, something that wasn’t very difficult for him to get, neither in nor out of drag.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2022 1:34 pm 

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Considering his choice of drink, a sheepish little smile pulled at Remus’ drinks, weighing his words; historically, his drink was whatever people bought for him. Watching the show, Remus had had a pint, not necessarily out of preference, but out of disinterest in anything more expensive than that.
“Whatever you’ll buy me,” he encouraged, leaning further against the bar, a thoughtless instinct to keep Sirius in his view. The bar itself more brightly lit than the dim body of the room, Sirius stood perfectly illuminated, making it hard for Remus’ attention not to linger.
Sirius was just as beautiful here as he was in the classroom, but the shimmer across his eyelids and cheeks made something within Remus flip.
Remus made a point to refocus his gaze on Sirius’ eyes; it didn’t stop his smile from widening, though. “Whatever Puppy’s having.”


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2022 1:42 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Even though Sirius greatly appreciated Remus not using his real name at the bar, hearing him call him Puppy still made his legs weak, making him happy that he was already holding onto the bar. He hadn’t really considered what them interacting at the bar would mean and he still really didn’t know, but he wasn’t sure he disliked it.
“Alright,” he said with a crooked grin, suddenly feeling sheepish and flustered, but he hoped that the dim light would hide most of it.
Instead, he turned his full attention towards the bartender, requesting two tequila sunrises, unsure how Remus would feel about that, but he did say to just get him whatever he was having, and it really was Sirius’ preferred after show drink.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 07, 2022 3:52 pm 

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___

While Remus really hadn’t had any other plans for the night, he hadn’t expected to stick around for as long as he had. He could barely remember having started the evening in the library, but his clothes had certainly told that tale, the shirt and trousers too formal for the context. Somewhere between the second and third drink, Remus had eased the top button.
Most recently, a sticky spot on the bartop had forced him to undo his cuffs, folding it up twice to stop it from brushing against his wrist.
“No, it might seem like I don’t,” he offered when Sirius was too polite to admit that Burton undoubtedly thought him to be rude and disinterested in engaging with his peers, and had made comments to suggest as much. He glanced up at Sirius, fingers blindly at the buttons of his second cuff.
A smile pulled at Remus’ lips, the liquor in his system making the room shift whenever he had to look up at Sirius, making him feel lightheaded. Right now, he couldn’t care less what Burton and Kelly thought of him.
“But I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?” he muttered with an airy chuckle, eyes dipping to his sleeve when the button resisted. “I don’t think he realizes just how much of a bore he is, compared to you.”


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2022 1:02 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It had been a real pleasant surprise to Sirius that Remus wanted to stick around for so long after his show, having expected them to get a polite drink and then just see each other at home.
They had gotten into a conversation about their studies and on Remus’ classmates, all a rather dull bunch, but Sirius wasn’t exactly in a position to hang out with them in private. It was, of course, different when it came to Remus, both because they shared a dorm, but also because Sirius couldn’t help but feel drawn to him.
Even if Remus hadn’t said anything that could be read directly as a compliment towards him, he still felt flattered that Remus wanted to spend his free time together with him, especially in a place that meant something entirely different to Remus than it did to Sirius.
“You don’t think I’m a bore?” He asked with a crooked grin, the alcohol in his system making his feel giddy and less restrained than he normally would attempt to be.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 11, 2022 4:48 pm 

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Sirius’ question took Remus aback, misinterpreting the infliction. As he glanced back up at him, hand still at his cuff, a grin pulling at his lips and confusion furrowed his brow.
“Do you think that you are?” he asked, his voice airy with a surprised laugh.
Remus’ gaze skimmed across Sirius’ features, and those he shared with Puppy, with her made up eyes and lips. Rarely before had Remus met someone who contained multitudes, each facet of Sirius’ life more interesting than the next. Remus found himself constantly surprised, making it terribly hard not to continue showing up for him, eternally intrigued by the possibility of there being more.
A smile remained etched on his features, above all humoured.
“I think you’re spectacularly interesting.”


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2022 2:49 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Despite knowing that he probably was a rather interesting person, Sirius still couldn’t help but feel flustered by what he was certain was a compliment. He had never really considered himself a bore, but there was still something about Remus so explicitly complimenting him that made him a little weak in his knees.
“Yeah?” He said with a smile that was too sincere for their interaction.
The more time Sirius got to spend one on one with Remus, the harder it was to not be transparently interested in him. He desperately didn’t want to make Remus uncomfortable, so happy with how far they had gotten so far, but he was so painfully handsome that it was difficult not to want him.
“Remus, can I kiss you?” He found himself asking before even considering what consequences this might have for their future relation, but right in that moment he had a hard time really caring.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 3:59 am 

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The question, the name, made ice run through Remus’ veins, a violent and immediate feeling of panic. Every boundary that had grown fuzzy over the course of the past months was suddenly redrawn, hurled back to the very beginning.
“No,” he blurted out, instincts far quicker than his mind, the reply the same to Sirius as to anyone else who had asked him that question.
Immediately after, a rush of heat flooded Remus’ being, his cheeks flushing with a sense of embarrassment. Physically needing to distance himself, he straightened his posture, unable to meet Sirius’ eye. “Sorry, no.”


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 4:19 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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There was no denying that Remus’ answer was a disappointment, though not really a surprise, to Sirius. It wasn’t the first time he has read too much into an interaction, and he doubted that it would be the last either. He has just been so taken with Remus that he hadn’t taken a moment to stop and consider whether the feeling was truly mutual.
In an attempt to hide the sinking feeling in his chest, he simply kept smiling, not wanting to make Remus even more uncomfortable than he likely already was.
“That’s alright, don’t apologise,” he said, and he sincerely meant it. After all, it wasn’t Remus’ fault that Sirius had become too smitten with him to consider good senses.
Instead, he gathered their glasses and took a step away, wanting to leave Remus with some time to recalibrate after the bombshell he had just dropped.
“I’ll get us a refill, yeah?” He suggested, unsure if Remus would even want to keep drinking with him, but he couldn’t bear the thought of having completely ruined their friendship with his clumsy question, so he had to believe that there was still hope.
He didn’t wait for an answer before walking towards a less crowded part of the bar to get them aforementioned refills.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 11:10 am 

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When Remus had looked away, he had done so in search of an exit, both out of the bar, and the situation. His stomach was in knots, a nauseous reminder as to why he didn’t spend time in the club, steadying himself for a sour shift in the balance between them. No visible distinction between his work and his leisure, it seemed that Remus’ mere presence could be interpreted as an invitation, but the question had taken him aback with such force he felt like a dreadful reality had finally caught up to him; that this was the consequence of Sirius knowing.
Though Remus felt a million things at once, it couldn’t have been more than a second, for when Sirius’ spoke and Remus’ attention was recaptured, he saw no sign of malice in his expression. A smile remained at his lips, and his dismissal felt sincere, and once again, Remus felt without a foot to stand on, his heart in his throat.
It was the first time anyone had expressed any interest in sticking around when Remus had rejected their advances, and as he watched Sirius leave to get him another drink, he realized the sinking feeling he felt was regret.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 12:57 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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________
“Right, thanks Dro. Talk to you next week,” Sirius said as he hung up the phone, feeling completely uncertain exactly which leg to stand on.
He hadn’t spared his mother a single thought for years, feeling completely over the entire thing and knowing that he was never going to see her again. Now though, as he stood in front of the phone in the hallway, he didn’t really know what to think of just how true that suddenly was.
Even if Sirius had never actually wanted to see his mother again, it still felt vastly different to know that he wouldn’t even have the option to do so.
It felt weird to not even have known that she was sick, not that he could imagine himself caring very much if he had. Maybe it was also just having to face the fact that sometimes people died, and even if you hated them, it was still going to be weird when they were suddenly gone.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 1:17 pm 

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Remus had expected things to change between them, and yet nothing did. When others had used Remus’ work as a justification for their expectations, Sirius hadn’t brought it up again, and they had gone on with their lives with a solemn respect for Remus’ clumsy but resolute rejection.
Sirius hadn’t let things change between them, and yet, to Remus, everything had.
The mere acknowledgement that Sirius had even wanted to kiss him in the first place had stuck by Remus for the past after. Uncertain whether or not he wanted things to have progressed differently, he hadn’t been able keep the thought out of his mind. Regret still filled his chest, but less out of remorse and more out of boyish courtesy, quite taken by the fact that perhaps Sirius hadn’t asked him as a client, and feeling sorry Remus hadn’t acknowledged that in the moment.
Other times, Remus believed it had been the right answer, dizzy at even the repercussions of having kissed his instructor.
It had left Remus in a state, caught between wanting to extend that same respect to Sirius that he showed to him, and finding himself drawing up short, left without a steady ground.
Seeing Sirius down the hall, a numb sort of distress on his features, Remus genuinely considered leaving him be, stopping by their own door.
He didn’t.
“You alright?” he asked hesitantly, glancing towards him.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 3:36 pm 

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Sirius was completely broken out of his stupor at the sound of Remus’ voice, having all but forgotten that he was standing in the hallway and not somewhere private. He shook his head, unsure how to properly explain the situation to Remus when he hardly understood any of it himself.
“My mother is dead,” was all explanation he could settle on, knowing that it was probably too abrupt and far too much to just dump on his flatmate like this, but he had a desperate need to tell someone. Normally he would’ve called James up, but his arms had felt too heavy to even consider lifting them enough to be able to make that call.
Instead, Remus was right there and while he maybe hadn’t wanted to actually know what was going through Sirius’ head, Sirius really didn’t know who else he could share this with.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 6:08 pm 

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Sirius’ reply completely struck Remus in place, so far from anything he had expected to hear.
Slate wiped clean, he turned to look at Sirius, and after days of muddled desire and confusion, he looked at his friend with nothing else but sympathy.
“I’m so sorry, Sirius,” he offered with sincerity.
Ducking his gaze, Remus pocketed his keys, leaving their door locked to instead approach Sirius. Despite his best intentions, Remus stopped a tentative few yards away, hands idly at the strap of his bag as he struggled to find the words - or actions. When he finally spoke, his words were clumsy and awkward.
“That’s terrible.”


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 10:26 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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At the look of genuine concern on Remus’ face, Sirius felt guilty about not explaining the situation better. Obviously his flatmate would be worried when he mentioned his mother dying, but Sirius still hadn’t wrapped his head around the new enough to actually explain his relationship to his mother. Also, he wasn’t too keen on explaining him being outed in a crowded hallway, but he desperately wanted Remus to know what was actually going through him.
“Yeah, or no-“ he started, unsure how to proceed from here. He had no idea what he wanted to do or even which leg to stand on, appreciating the concern that Remus was clearly trying to show for him, but more than anything else he just really wanted to get a drink and not think too much more about his mother.
“I guess, yeah,” he stated, running a hand through his hair, only now properly looking at Remus, floored by just how much care showed on his face.
Nothing much had changed in their relationship since Sirius’ awkward move on him, and that had been a pleasant relief to him. He had really feared that he was going to lose the relationship he had been working so hard on, so maybe this was the right time to properly open up as well.
“Do you wanna get absolutely sloshed with me?” He found himself asking rather than trying to get into any of of the actual thoughts that were running through his mind, just craving a drink and a distraction.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 3:27 pm 

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Sirius didn’t offer enough time for Remus to decipher the half-replies he had given, his mind so on edge trying to anticipate Sirius’ emotional state, that the question took him aback, catching him off guard.
For a moment, he looked like what it was - barely five p.m. on a school night, and nothing like what he had planned on spending his evening on. And still -
“Alright,” he fumbled, unprepared.
Something flickered across his expression, an instinct to question whether or not that was the right approach, but he swallowed it, realizing it was not his grief to process. They didn’t have that kind of relationship, and Remus wasn’t about to pretend that they had.
Instead, he tugged at his bag.
“Sure. Give me a moment.”


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 4:31 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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_______
Sirius hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly when he had asked Remus to get him drunk, but now he was starting to realise that it was actually exactly what he had needed.
As he and Remus stumbled into their shared dorm, shushing each other and giggling as they went, Sirius had all but forgotten his earlier turmoil, just getting to feel happy and relieved that his mother was finally dead and would be unable to make his life hell anymore. Remus had been absolutely darling about it as well, having needed a minimum of explanation before catching on and deciding to celebrate Sirius’ good fortune with him.
It had been even better than Sirius could have hoped for.
“I don’t even think that I can sleep right now,” Sirius stated as the door had been closed and locked behind them, leaving the two of them completely alone for the first time that night. As Sirius kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, he looked at Remus, wanting to be able to judge just how intoxicated his flatmate was, but finding that it gave him no real answers.

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