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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2022 1:30 pm 

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Sirius had been incredibly brief, offering almost no context to his mother’s passing beyond the fact that he was relieved by the news. Ecstatic might have been a better word, but even now, in the early hours of the morning and several pints later, Remus hesitated to use such harsh words, even to himself, too fond of his own mother to truly feel comfortable sharing the sentiment.
But, while it was far from the evening Remus had expected to have, it had turned out to have been a good time. It was probably what last time should have been - easy, pushing everything aside.
Remus himself had stumbled onto his own bed, folded over forward to undo the laces of his shoes. His knee was at his chest when Remus looked up, a hazy smile at his lips.
“Yeah?” he pressed, straightening his posture.
Better able to push off his shoes, Remus crept further onto the bed, intent on descending it on the opposite side. His attention remained on Sirius, though, glancing at him intermittently, a grin at his lips.
“Do you wanna share a spliff?”


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 2:06 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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While Sirius had had no real hopes that Remus would want to continue their night together, the offer to share a spliff left him all but elated. He had been honest when he said that he didn’t think that he would be able to sleep, still feeling too high from the news of his mother’s death and by just how easy it had been to convince Remus to spend time with him. He wanted to make the most of it.
“You got one?” He asked with a bright grin, swaying slightly where he stood, but nothing too bad. Despite his request for Remus to get him absolutely sloshed, Sirius found that he was just pleasantly drunk, feeling happier than he had for a while, and lighter somehow.
“I’d love that,” he added, rarely actually smoking that himself, but somehow it wasn’t a huge surprise to him that maybe Remus did.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2022 10:28 am 

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Remus’ smile inevitably widened, a boyish thrill about the readiness of Sirius’ reply. Had he had any more common sense he wouldn’t have offered, too late into the night to introduce another intoxicant, but it had felt so easy to offer.
“Alright.”
He inched up another bit across his bed, nodding towards their window in a vague invitation, before swinging the legs off of the mattress to rummage through his bedside table.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2022 2:14 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Without hesitation, Sirius moved across the room to take a place in their, fairly wide, window sill, opening both of the windows as he did. As he sat down, he could feel the buzz overtake his body in a more prominent way, but it didn’t feel intrusive nor unwelcome.
His long hair hung loose around his face, having freed it from its normal bun as soon as he and Remus had decided to go out for the night and having not bothered to do something different about it.
All in all, he felt free in a way that he hadn’t for years, knowing that he was never going to see his mother again. It almost made him laugh, having not realised just how heavy a burden the risk of an accidental encounter had been for him to carry.
“You know, I am almost considering showing up at her funeral, just because I know that she would detest it,” he said with a grin as he lean against the windowpane. He hadn’t explained a lot to Remus about the situation, other than it had been a fully celebratory event and that his mother had been a ****.
“I won’t though, don’t want anyone in the family accidentally reading it as me wanting to change my ways or whatever nonsense they’d like to believe.”

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2022 5:10 am 

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Remus knelt into the narrow space between his bed and the wall, only maintained by a three drawer nightstand facing its side. Glancing intermittently towards Sirius, Remus retrieved a tin from the bottom drawer, opening up beneath the frame of the bed.
“Yeah?” he encouraged, unable to keep an airy chuckle from his voice, finding it hard not to match Sirius’ smile, even though the subject seemed less than cheerful.
Ducking his gaze towards the tin, thoughtless in his alcohol haze, Remus then placed it on his bed to shut the drawer blind.
He was only barely able to peer at Sirius overtop the mattress and duvet, a smile still lopsided on his lips. “You’re not close, I take it?”


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View Likes PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2022 1:34 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius actually laughed at that, knowing that he hadn’t exactly briefed Remus on his family situation, not even when he demanded drinks celebrating his mother’s death, but he also knew that Remus was a smart guy and probably had been able to work it out.
“Went and disowned me, didn’t they?” He stated with a shrug, the broken heart he had had about it long healed by now. He knew that they had never actually been his family, even if they happened to share blood, and he had his own kind of familial bonds now, better ones at that as well.
“Haven’t seen any of them since I started my masters, and I prefer to keep it this way,” he stated, letting one leg dangle from the window sill as he watched Remus. He couldn’t see a lot of his flatmate, being hidden mostly behind his bed, but it was enough that Sirius felt that they were actually having a proper conversation.
“‘Cause like, you know I’m gay, right?” He felt the need to elaborate, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically nervous about the entire thing. It was unlikely that Remus was going to mind, but it also made him realised just how rarely he said it out loud and how foreign the words felt on his lips.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2022 8:49 am 

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With how incredibly brief Sirius had been while they were out, Remus did his best to retain the nuances of his comments, realizing they had never talked about their families. As Remus latched the drawer and straightened himself upright, he realized he had probably come to project the nature of his own absent parents to Sirius’, never quite expecting that hurt to exist within Sirius.
The question, however, felt a little trivial, but far easier to process in the haze of alcohol. It brought a lopsided smile to his lips as he looked over at Sirius.
“Yeah,” he replied, unable to quite keep a laugh out of his voice. He had certainly figured as much by now.
Tin in hand, Remus edged past his bed, coming to a stop ahead of Sirius as he offered it to him, his mannerism a fraction too easy for the tension in Sirius’ expression.
Remus failed to notice it, the crooked smile on his lips a little insensitive because of it.
“They didn’t like that?” he asked rhetorically as he climbed onto the windowsill beside him.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:12 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The ease with which Remus responded served to put a lot of Sirius’ worries to rest, simply accepting the tin that Remus was offering him and watching as he joined him on the window sill. This now meant that they were sitting rather close, almost unbearably so, but Sirius already knew that his affections were not reciprocated and put those thoughts aside.
“They did not,” he said with a soft smile, feeling more comfortable talking with Remus about this than he had with anyone else. He didn’t exactly know what it was about Remus, maybe it was just that Remus knew about the culture, knew about the club, and had seen Sirius as Puppy, which meant that he had less to explain.
“I met a guy at this gala, or fundraiser or whatever, thought he was proper fit,” he explained, knowing that Remus hadn’t actually asked, but they had spent the evening bonding, so it felt right to tell Remus what had went on.
“And you know me, I historically don’t read other people’s signals well,” he stated, looking out at the quiet school grounds rather than looking at his flatmate. “So when I thought he was flirting and made my move, he told my parents.”

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2022 4:50 am 

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Remus shifted, drawing one leg up between them to effectively straddle the sill, one leg dangling outside with a precarious confidence that came from alcohol and practice, a subtle proof that this wasn’t the first time he found himself seated there.
Glancing up at Sirius as he gingerly took back the tin, Remus was surprised by the vulnerability of Sirius’ words. Remus hadn’t asked because he hadn’t expected an answer, but when Sirius offered it so freely, Remus simply nodded. He opened the tin between his spread thighs and did his best to retain the information despite the alcohol still flooding his veins.
Remus had been fumbling with the grinder when Sirius continued, the phrasing making Remus’ jump, feeling surprisingly struck by it. It drew Remus’ eyes back up to Sirius, a clumsy apology already on his expression when he found that Sirius wasn’t looking at him.
It made his throat close up.
Remus wasn’t sure that he knew that about Sirius, still feeling to blame for how that interaction fell out, still caught in a loop of relief and regret for having rejected Sirius.
This added context didn’t make those feelings any easier.
“I’m sorry,” he said, lowering his gaze to his hands to continue. “What an arse.”


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2022 3:49 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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While Sirius did know that to be objectively true, he still didn’t feel like he could do much but shrug. It had felt devastating at the time, even if he had hated his family, it felt weird to suddenly be without them, but he had found ways to manage, and in many ways he was much better off now than he ever had been while living with his family.
“Guess I dodged a bullet,” he said with a soft smile, finally looking over at Remus again, doing his very best not to think too much of how close they were sitting. After all, it was very nice that they could share a moment like this and Sirius really enjoyed allowing Remus to get to know him better.
He should probably think of his TA duties, consider how this might affect their professional relationship, but a part of him just couldn’t bring himself to care. He considered Remus a good friend of his by now and if they had been able to manage so far, he doubted that this was going to be what brought them over that thin line.
“Because you’re right, he really was an arse,” he said with a soft smile. Over the years, he had really learnt to mostly laugh at it, having taught himself to find it hysterical that it was his being gay that was the final straw for his parents and not the countless of other stupid **** he had gotten up to.
“Luckily for me, I am exceptionally brilliant and was here on a scholarship, so even if my mother dearest really wanted be to be left with nothing, I can honestly say that I am happier than I ever was living with her.”

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2022 9:34 am 

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Remus could tell Sirius was looking at him, making him intermittently glance up at him as he filled the paper. It made it difficult to keep a smile entirely off of his face, though the pace and subject of the conversation felt a little intimidating still.
“Well, I’m jealous of that part,” he allowed himself, ducking his gaze to his hands as he rolled the paper between his thumbs. Privately, he wasn’t surprised Sirius had merited himself a scholarship, but perhaps that it had even been offered to him, from what he could make out.
“You used to go to galas and still you didn’t pay full price to go here?” he pressed, the harshness of his words diluted by a glint in his gaze, looking at Sirius overtop the half-made spliff as he ran the edge of the paper across his lip.
Ducking his eyes, he finished rolling the paper shut over itself.
“Posh prick,” he added, but this time a laugh escaped him alongside it, the way he glanced back up at Sirius promising it was only a tease.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2022 1:32 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius couldn’t help but laugh heartily at that, knowing that he had been quite privileged in his upbringing, even with his being disowned. Sure, he had mostly taken up drag as a way to make a living, but he loved it so much that he would likely have kept doing it, even if he had actually gotten a full scholarship.
“I mean, it’s only a partial scholarship, if that helps my case,” he said with a crooked grin, fully aware that Remus had to know that he didn’t attend many galas or fundraisers now, other than fundraiser to raise funds for their program at university.
“That’s why I do drag on the side, you know?” He stated, figuring that now that he was in a sharing mood, he could just as well lay out his entire life in front of Remus. It didn’t feel like being vulnerable though, knowing that Remus understood where he was coming from and wasn’t about to go tattle on him.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2022 1:58 pm 

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Remus’ smile softened at that, though he hadn’t gotten the impression that Sirius had taken the tease to heart.
“Yeah, I figured,” he replied with more kindness, a smile still at the corners of his mouth as he absentmindedly tightened the coil of the paper. Remus hadn’t given it a lot of active thought, but he almost always assumed that people, like he, fundamentally turned to that kind of work for cash.
Turning the spliff between his fingers for a last time, Remus held it up between them, offering Sirius the first go with a little smile.
“Did you work before they disowned you?” he asked, curious to know if Sirius had dared to toe that line.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2022 1:26 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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“Not really,” Sirius stated as he accepted the spliff, digging through his trouser pocket for his lighter. Once he had gotten a hold of it, he managed to fish it out, probably not looking particularly elegant while doing, what with trying not to drop the spliff and also not fall out of the window.
“I used to just come a lot at the bar and hang out,” he explained, placing the spliff between his lips and finally lighting it up. Once the heavy smoke hit his lungs, Sirius could feel his shoulders fall down, a wave of relaxation washing over him and helping him come down after having been on all night.
“I ended up chatting with the girls more often than not,” Sirius added before blowing out a huff of smoke and handing the spliff over to Remus.
“And I thought that it looked like good fun, so Dahlia suggested that I try it,” he explained, unsure how much of a story Remus actually wanted, but now that he had gotten into the habit, he found it hard not to let Remus into his past.
“So I did it a couple of times, just for fun, and when I got disowned it just made sense.”

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2022 2:44 pm 

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Remus accepted the spliff and leant back against the windowpane, eyes attentively on Sirius as he inhaled. Already familiar with how Sirius looked in drag, he tried to picture the rest; a Sirius a few years younger, from a family that attended galas who still snuck out to gay bars to play dress up.
It almost inevitably brought a smile to Remus’ expression, lips curling around the smoke before he picked it from his lips, exhaling into the space between them.
“It pays enough?” he asked, genuinely curious.
The spliff remained between his fingers almost thoughtlessly, processing Sirius’ words with a slight delay. “You said you didn’t stay late.”


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2022 1:24 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius shrugged at that, knowing that the pay wasn’t extravagant but it paid a far deal better than any service job that he could have otherwise gotten and was a great deal more fun. That definitely made the choice easy enough for Sirius, who wanted to have as much fun as he could while still studying.
“It pays better than tutoring,” he stated with a crooked grin, knowing just how easy it would be for him to get a tutoring job and while he did pick up the occasional tutoring gig, he definitely preferred making his money through doing drag.
“And despite my upbringing, I am good at being frugal,” he added, smiling softly and looking at Remus, more just letting his eyes rest on his form rather than actively looking at him.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2022 3:54 pm 

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Remus’ smile widened at that; now that Sirius mentioned, Remus had realized so, at least in the sense that Sirius’ presence had felt suffocatingly constant at the start of the semester, often finding himself in the lunch hall with him.
He allowed that recollection to remain private, meeting Sirius’ eye with a shadow of a smile as he took another slow inhale before thoughtlessly looking out into the darkness of the gardens, the vague contours further softening as smoke filled the space in front of him as he exhaled.
“I’m working my way through school,” he felt compelled to share, words still visible in the curl of the smoke.
Glancing over at Sirius, Remus figured as much must have been obvious to him. It made it all feel a little silly, making Remus’ smile turn sheepish, stretching to offer the spliff back to Sirius.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2022 3:03 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius hummed at that as he accepted the spliff, showing no signs of hesitation as he took a drag from it. He had figured that Remus hadn’t gotten a scholarship, even if he should have, Sirius knowing him to be absolutely brilliant, absolutely on the same level as he himself was. He kept that particular observation to himself though, knowing that it probably wasn’t very helpful.
He blew out a huff of smoke without saying anything further, unsure what exactly he could add to a statement like that. After all, Remus had stated that he wasn’t ashamed of what he did, but Sirius still doubted that he would be in much of a sharing mood about that particular aspect of his life.
“I assume that your vocation pays plenty fine,” he stated with a crooked grin, unsure if he was actually allowed to joke about this, but the booze was still making the lines seems blurrier than they normally would be and Sirius just assumed that Remus wouldn’t mind.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2022 6:30 pm 

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Leaning back against the frame, Remus’ eyes followed the spliff as Sirius took it and brought it to his lips. In the haze of multiple intoxicants, the image had lost its intimacy, and still Remus watched it with interest.
“Yeah, better than tutoring,” he parroted, a boyish smile pulling at his lips as his gaze flicked upwards to meet Sirius’ eyeline.
Work certainly paid enough that it made sense to keep at it, though the meeker researcher’s pay they got on the doctorate certainly helped him focus his time on his dissertation. It had certainly been different during his masters.
“I did,” Remus eventually added, the delay so large that it betrayed it as being an afterthought.
Drawing one knee up, resting his foot on a ledge on the bricks of the exterior wall, Remus tried to get comfortable on the sill. Despite his hesitancy, his attention remained on Sirius, eyes still mostly on him as he spoke, though his gaze kept flickering off into the darkness.
“Back during my bachelors,” he said and paused again, his attention settling on something on the stone path below their window. “My parents were able to help out with most of my tuition then, so I only worked what made sense.”


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2022 2:06 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius nodded softly at that, a soft smile playing on his lips. He was absolutely elated that Remus was sharing with him and cherished the chance of getting to know his flatmate better, but he tried not to make too much of a show of it, not wanting Remus to suddenly withdraw and maybe want to share less.
“I used to tutor during my bachelors too,” he stated, having had it drilled into his head by his parents that it would look good on his resume in the future, especially now that he had chosen an area of study that was less traditional compared to what they would have wanted from him.
“I still do occasionally, though I can’t say I enjoy it very much,” he stated with a shrug, having never really seen the point in trying to beat difficult equations into the head of a teen who refused to learn. He took another drag from the spliff, allowing the silence to settle over them for a moment, as he handed it back over to Remus, fully aware that he normally would find interactions like this far more intimate than this one. He couldn’t quite explain it, but it felt nice to be able to share like this with someone who truly got it.
“I think my other job is far more fun.”

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