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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2024 3:27 pm 

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Harry didn’t even know what he was about to say, if anything at all. There was probably more to do than to say, but Harry couldn’t bear it, instead wanting to pause it all, stretch his little moment to settle himself in the news.
“I know,” he said, and he did. He feared that speaking too loudly would make everything crash around them, everything feeling so fragile.
A little timidly, his right hand reached out for Draco’s waist, a soft little touch to reassure him that Draco was there. “It’s not good.”


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2024 2:05 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It absolutely broke Draco’s heart to see Harry so lost, clearly grappling with all the things that Draco didn’t say to him but was so clearly implied that it seemed needless to put it properly into words.
“I didn’t know that it would have spread this much,” he said, feeling nauseous by his own oversight. He should have kept up better with the tests, knowing that he had been slacking on it lately, and if his oversight meant that Harry was going to die, Draco knew that he would never be able to forgive itself.
“I’m so sorry.”

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PostPosted: Mon May 06, 2024 1:59 am 

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The sound of Draco’s distress was even worse than the gnaw of the magic in his chest. His own death was towering somewhere above his head, a suffocating presence, but right now, everything in his field of vision was Draco.
“I know,” Harry insisted, not wanting or needing Draco’s apology.
“Just - shut up for a moment,” he said, as kindly as the knot in his throat allowed him.
Egging Draco closer still, needing his presence more than his words, Harry’s hand slipped from his waist to his elbow, then forearm, pulling him closer with more insistence.


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2024 1:43 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco was desperate to provide some comfort for Harry, unsure how to go about it in a way that wouldn’t feel cheap. However, he didn’t get the opportunity to do so, because when Harry’s hand reached his forearm pain bloomed through it and Draco didn’t have time to think before he instinctively snatched it away, cradling it as if that could ease the tendrils of pain shooting up his arm.
What he had just seen light up in Harry’s chest together with the residual pain in his arm made something click in Draco’s brain; something which filled him with dread in an entirely new way.
“I’m sorry,” he said, still cradling his arm and gently running his thumb over the spot it had found so many times before.

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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2024 3:15 pm 

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Draco’s reaction to his touch was so unexpectedly violent that Harry didn’t even manage to register a sense of rejection before he, too, recoiled, even despite the fact that he himself had felt nothing. Whatever melancholy had previously gripped him was immediately pushed aside, and Harry was left staring at Draco, mouth agape.
“Are you alright?” he said as his adrenaline spiked with a slight delay, instinctively pushing himself off the table to stand. “What just happened?”


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PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2024 4:53 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco definitely wasn’t alright, having more or less gotten confirmation of a theory that had been rattling in the back of his mind for a while now, and he desperately hoped that he wasn’t right.
“I-“ he started out, finding his entire theory too horrible to say out loud unless he was absolutely certain that he was right. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach, having not wanted to even consider his theory before but now it seemed like the only plausible explanation.
“I need to check my notes,” was what he settled on, knowing that Harry was already extremely upset and he didn’t want to add further stress to him. “I just… I need to check.”

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PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2024 3:14 am 

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There came the rejection. Draco’s lapse back into closed off professionalism struck Harry hard somewhere between his ribs, immediately uneasy by the lack of an actual response.
“What?” he gaped, so unaccustomed to this tone between them.
The distance felt almost palpable, and Harry’s immediate reaction was to step forward to close it. He wanted to reach out for Draco, but caught himself before he could.
“Draco, did I hurt you?” he pressed with a slight desperation, the same question rephrased.


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 1:58 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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“It’s okay,” Draco stated even if everything from his tone down to his frantic body language would tell anyone that it absolutely wasn’t.
“You didn’t do it on purpose, okay?” He added, still rubbing the sore spot on his arm, more out of an attempt to comfort himself rather than it still hurting.
“I just-“ he cut himself off, unable to get himself to say his theory out loud; not until he was absolutely certain that his suspicions were actually true.
“I need to check my notes, because if I am right…” he trailed off, feeling bile rise in his throat at the mere idea.

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 2:28 pm 

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Harry’s expression paled at that; while Draco seemed to try and bury his reply between different points, the notion that he had hurt Draco reverberated through Harry’s mind, almost entirely deafening anything Draco said after it. His eyes dipped to Draco’s arm, sick at the sight of Draco soothing his own hurt.
“No, it’s not ****ing okay - Draco, I barely touched you -” he flustered without any anger, distressed at the thought that he had done as much, even by accident, even if he hadn’t felt anything himself.
Hesitant to reach for Draco, but needing to place his hands somewhere, Harry restlessly pulled his still-opened shirt closer across his chest. “Wait, don’t - what do you know?”


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 3:02 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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While Draco understood Harry’s frustration, he really wasn’t sure that he would actually be able to say his theory out loud without being sick.
He had had his suspicions for a while, too many things adding up in ways that Draco really didn’t like and hadn’t dared to put together. Seeing Harry so desperate for answers made Draco nauseous in a different way, feeling bad about keeping this from him, but also knowing that Harry definitely didn’t want to know.
“Harry, please,” he said, his throat closing up at the attempt of speech, unsure how he would ever be able to look at Harry and tell him that Draco was the one who was killing him.
“I’m not sure about this…”

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 3:22 pm 

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The longer Draco avoided giving a straight answer, the clearer it became to Harry that this was dire in an entirely new way. It left him in tatters, face knotted up and lips parted, feeling so much all at once.
The way Draco almost sobbed his name out felt like a death sentence, and still what made Harry ache was the fear of hurting Draco again if he reached out for him.
“Love, it’s okay,” he said, his voice almost cracking with the strain of keeping his composure; by now, Harry felt more likely to cry than to yell. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s okay, but you have to say.”


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 3:36 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It wasn’t okay. There really wasn’t a singular thing about the entire situation that was okay and the fact that Harry so sweetly tried to comfort him made Draco’s heart break.
He could barely look at Harry, unwilling to face him when he was about to say something that was going to ruin the fragile thing that they had built up so entirely.
“I think it’s me,” he stated, feeling his stomach turn as the words left his mouth. He cared so deeply for Harry that the idea that he was somehow the source of this made him want to weep.
“If I am right, then I am killing you.”

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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 3:48 pm 

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Harry felt like he was plunged into water, his body ice cold while the world muffled around him.
He didn’t even manage to stutter out a request for Draco to repeat himself; there was no point in pretending he hadn’t heard Draco perfectly, and unsure if he could stomach hearing it again. The words themselves didn’t matter, so ludicrous that Harry didn’t even consider them a possibility, but the ache of Draco’s voice made them all too real to repeat.
“No, that can’t be,” Harry said, his voice almost distant, shell shocked. “I hurt you, so it can’t be-”


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PostPosted: Wed May 22, 2024 11:29 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco desperately didn’t want to believe it either, feeling sick at the idea that while he had been trying to help and heal Harry he had actually been making the situation so much worse. However, Draco couldn’t deny the way the pieces fit together and while he was desperate for literally any other answer there was still enough researcher in him to know that he had to be at least somewhat right.
“Think about it,” Draco stated, voice quivering slightly at what he was about to share, but now that he had said it out loud he knew that he had to get Harry to believe him.
“There has been previous incidents of you accidentally touching my mark that has caused me physical pain,” he admitted, knowing that he hadn’t shared these with Harry at the time as they had seemed unimportant, and Draco could do nothing but regret that immensely.
“Whenever you’ve been around me for an extended period of time your symptoms have been getting worse, usually ending up with you being very sick until we have been separated for a while,” he added, knowing that everything made sense but he hated it.
“So please, Harry,” Draco said, feeling heartbroken about having to say this. “Let me check my notes.”

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PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2024 2:47 am 

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The moment Harry processed the fact that he had already hurt Draco before must have been visible in his expression, the bloom a painful realisation, and suddenly he was sixteen again, having almost killed Draco on a bathroom floor.
Raking through every interaction they had shared this past year, Harry went looking for the moments Draco was referring to; it felt like it must have been an overwhelming amount, certain there couldn’t be an inch of Draco he hadn’t touched multiple times. Harry felt sick.
“Draco,” he pleaded, unable to accept that even as a possibility. “That can’t be, there must be something else. I- I was ill before I even came to you.”


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PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2024 12:27 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Seeing Harry’s pained expression made Draco’s chest tighten up, hating that he had to tell him these things, even if they were things that needed to be told.
“I’m not saying that I am the source,” Draco explained, really not wanting to talk about this any further, feeling his own heart break with every single word, but he felt that Harry at least deserved whatever explanation that he would be able to give him.
“I am saying that I have been making it worse,” he stated, barely able to collect his own thoughts into a coherent narrative. “I am not sure though, so I am begging you, please let me check my notes on you.”

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PostPosted: Thu May 23, 2024 1:06 pm 

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Everything Draco was saying felt like it was so far removed from the reality Harry wanted them to exist in, but still it stuttered and caught somewhere within him. The entire case had been stagnant for so long and even though Harry wanted nothing more to ignore this entire conversation, it wasn’t a bad take.
“Okay,” he said. He felt numb, too in control given just how fragile he felt. “Alright, you should check.”
Upon saying it, Harry realised he didn’t know if Draco had implied a now, suddenly making him feel awkwardly out of place, no longer sure he was allowed to reach out for Draco, or even to say.
“I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you,” he went on after a beat, feeling the ache from that revelation, the most pressing and important to address.
His voice was shaky, overwhelmed; his chest felt tight as though he was going to sob, but his eyes remained dry. “You should’ve told me.”


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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2024 2:25 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Despite the urgency that Draco was feeling in getting to check his notes, he also knew that there was no way that he would be able to leave Harry just standing there; not when he was looking so hurt and vulnerable.
It was pure muscle memory when Draco finally reduced the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Harry’s shoulders and pulling him in close. He hated that this was his only working theory, but he also knew that he would never be able to forgive himself if he didn’t make absolutely sure whether or not this was the case.
“It’s okay,” he stated, having not thought too much of it, knowing that Harry hadn’t meant to hurt them in those situations. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, so I didn’t want to stress you out.”

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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2024 3:30 am 

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Harry met the embrace with a dazed trepitation, arms reaching around Draco's waist and up his back. Clutching at the fabric covering Draco's shoulderblades with near desperation, Harry felt shell shocked.
Draco's words rung through Harry's mind and he hated himself. He wanted to cry over the fact that hurting Draco, even by accident, was a thing he apparently was ingrained to do, even loving him as much ad he did. He thought he was bettter, and it all threatened to come crashing down within him at the face of everything that was apparently inevitable for him.
He pressed his brow into Draco's shoulder, the pinch of his glasses hopefully distracting him enough to keep the tears abay.
"I'm sorry," he repeated, fragile. I keep hurting you hung in the air after it, unsaid.


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PostPosted: Sun May 26, 2024 3:14 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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All Draco could do was just to cling to Harry, hating that they were being put in this situation and that they couldn’t just enjoy each other’s company the way that they wanted to.
“It’s okay, love,” Draco stated, even if it decidedly wasn’t. However, it wasn’t the fact that Harry had accidentally hurt him that Draco found not to be okay, rather the entire situation and how the deck seemed to always be stacked against them.
He kept Harry close, one hand burying in the hair at the nape of his neck, just wanting to get to feel close to him for as long as he would be allowed.
“It’s not your fault,” he added, not wanting Harry to feel guilty about it. He turned his head slightly to press a kiss to Harry’s temple.

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