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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 3:51 pm 

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Harry didn’t realise just how intently he had been looking at Draco, having tried to gauge his reaction; he didn’t know what to make of the fact that Draco didn’t seem all that surprised. PTSD had always been an elephant in the room of his life, everybody in Harry’s life reluctant to address it, himself included. It felt vulnerable that Draco, of all people, had no objections to it.
“Yeah, I guess it does.”
Having stalled at the door, Harry finally entered the room. His wand still in his hand he abandoned it on his desk, but once there, he didn’t know what to do about himself.
“We’ve spent a lot of time talking about what about Towthorpe might’ve caused it,” he went on.
He spoke directed at his desk, considering taking a seat, but wedging that distance between them felt harsher than Harry could bear, especially with everything that filled his chest.
“She means you, you know?” he added, finally glancing up to look at Draco.
There was no blame in his expression; above all, Harry looked at Draco with interest, as though speaking it out loud for the first time really solidified it as reality.
Almost inevitably, his gaze dipped to skim across Draco’s chest. Draco was once again dressed in formal navy, and Harry was once again faced with the persistent attraction he felt for him; how correct his Mind Healer was in thinking Harry’s life to be irrevocably tied up in everything that was Draco.
“I don’t know on whose behalf she’s asking, but yeah, I get the feeling she’s trying to figure out if you being around sent me into an episode.”
For what could’ve been a threat on Draco’s career, Harry’s voice was even, spoken as little but a reflection on weeks apart and several sessions dancing around a topic Harry hadn’t been able to admit to the Mind Healer, less of all himself.
Standing in front of it, it all suddenly seemed quite obvious. It brought a little smile to his lips.
“I don’t know how to tell her it’s probably been quite the opposite. Awful as it sounds, I haven’t been this well in years.”


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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 4:06 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco listened intently as Harry spoke, wanting to hear everything that he had to say, and also all of the things that he didn’t say. They knew each other to intimately by now, so even if what Harry was saying should objectively terrify him, Draco knew that Harry was doing everything that he could to keep his career safe.
This was probably what he should be caring about, after all it was the whole reason he was in this situation with Harry in the first place, however, it felt so desperately meaningless to worry about his career when Harry had just told him that he somehow had managed to make him better.
It was pure muscle memory, left over from the many other times Draco had had things that he had wanted to say to Harry but not dared to.
There was no conscious thought behind it when Draco got a hold of the lapels on Harry’s coat, barely even remembering crossing the distance between them, and pulled him closer for the first time in weeks, knowing that his weakness was going to cost him later.
Draco kissed Harry like he had been drowning and he was a breath of fresh air, clinging to him like he was a life jacket and Draco was lost at sea.
It was pitiful and Draco didn’t care.

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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2023 1:13 pm 

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The force of the kiss knocked the air out of Harry’s lungs, making him choke a pitiful sound against Draco’s lips.
Harry had shared without an ulterior motive, and yet, the moment Draco’s hands were on him, he realised that that simply wasn’t true. While Draco deserved to know the positive effect his presence had had on Harry’s sense of self, the pitiful fact was that it was Draco’s affections that most efficiently soothed decades of hurt within Harry.
It was impossible not to indulge, every fibre in his being blazing alight beneath Draco’s touch after weeks of barely feeling like a person. Harry met the kiss greedily, his hands clutching at Draco’s waist in order to stretch into the kiss as though getting close enough to Draco would once again make him feel whole; at the very least, he felt alive.


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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2023 3:22 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It seemed so heartbreakingly undeserved when Harry eagerly returned the kiss, something that Draco should never have ever even done in the first place. He was once again struck by just how difficult it was for him to go without Harry, finding that a part of him had just returned home after being gone for so long.
He allowed his hands to loosen their grip around Harry’s lapels, feeling assured that he wasn’t going anywhere and that this deep desire lived within him as well, instead letting them slide over his chest to wrap his arms around his shoulders.
The way Harry’s hands were clutching at his waist seemed to etch into his skin, wanting Harry as close as possible now that they had both allowed themselves this indulgence.

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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2023 4:02 pm 

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The way Draco leaned against him threatened to make Harry’s knees buckle, overwhelmed by how every of his senses were still acutely familiar with the give and feel of Draco’s body against him.
Even by mere touch, Harry was desperately aware of the fact that Draco was wearing Ministry wool, the coat immediately different from the soft cotton and knit he had worn around the Manor. It made desire surge within Harry, overcome with the impulse to take it off of him, a new facet to an embrace that was otherwise so familiar.
Shifting his hold on Draco’s waist, Harry caught hold of the drape of his coat, thumbs barely reaching the line of buttons running down Draco’s chest.


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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2023 4:43 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The feeling of Harry reaching for his buttons made Draco realise that there was nothing he wanted more than for him to take it off him. He had deprived himself of Harry for so long that now that he was back and so very willing right in front of him he honestly had no idea why he had ever thought he could do without.
Without giving it too much thought, having decided by now that it was better if he didn’t, he began pushing at Harry, laying his weight against him until he started moving backwards. He kept doing this until they came to a stop, Draco figuring that Harry had probably reached his desk, briefly reminded of where they were but also having a very hard time caring about that.
The only thing on his mind was Harry and how desperately he wanted him.

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PostPosted: Thu May 04, 2023 5:06 pm 

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Harry felt like the floor was disappearing beneath him when Draco urged him backwards against the table, so much wrapped into so little. The shift was a question, or perhaps it was an answer to Harry’s near-desperate hold of Draco’s coat; really, it didn’t matter beyond the fact that they both wanted and wanted so transparently.
Feeling like it had suddenly become allowed, Harry pulled at Draco’s buttons with far more intent, eager to get the coat off of him. In another life, taking off Draco's newly appointed Cursebreaker uniform deserved more reverence than Harry was able to give, but his touch still ebbed over with unintended affection, the way his hands inadvertently trailed across Draco’s shirt-clad midriff in the pattern of the scars beneath the cotton.


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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 5:17 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It was incredible how easy it was for Draco fall right back into Harry, feeling his hands following the pattern of his scars underneath his shirt and not shying away from it, wanting Harry to see even more of him.
Rather unceremoniously, Draco allowed his coat to drop, suddenly having no care about the reverence he had felt when he was first handed the uniform. Now, his hands found Harry’s coat buttons as well, pressing him against the table as he frantically unbuttoned the coat, desperately craving everything that Harry was willing to give him.
It felt to incredible selfish and indulgent, knowing fully well that he didn’t deserve this and yet he gladly took it, unable to refuse himself something that he graved so deeply.

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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 6:09 am 

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The edge of his desk digging into the back of his thighs made Harry gasp, too aware of where they were, although, most importantly, of every way they had already lived through this scene. Déjà vu and anticipation muddled together in the pit of his stomach, bringing Harry to a balance point where the only coherent emotion he felt was a desperate longing for Draco to stay close.
In an effort to encourage that, Harry sat back onto his desk, beyond pretending he didn’t want Draco anywhere.
Sitting back created enough of a distance for their lips to part, Harry immediately ducking his head to see. Even without Draco's coat, all Harry saw between them was still Ministry blue and burgundy, emblems catching the light, and Christ did Draco deserve his uniform.
“****,” Harry choked, a single moment of clarify, guilt and desire too intertwined in one another, but unwilling to let that gain a foothold between them.
With a clumsy, frantic grip around Draco’s jaw, Harry pulled him back in for a kiss, fearful that regret might sprout between them if they stayed apart.


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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 1:21 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It was so incredibly easy for Draco to just kiss Harry again, having absolutely no interest in overthinking their relation of what this could possibly end up meaning for either of them. Even just hearing Harry’s small exclamation was enough to confirm to him that this was what he wanted and as long as Harry wanted him too, he was going to take absolutely everything that he could get.
With Harry seated on the table, Draco made himself comfortable between his legs, wanting to be as close to him as possible, almost as if close proximity would be able to erase Draco ending things between them.
He knew that it couldn’t and it never would though, but that didn’t stop his hands from finding the buttons of Harry’s waistcoat, eager to peel off more layers.

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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2023 3:00 pm 

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This affair was quickly becoming a tangle of sleeves and cuffs, and for the first time yet, Harry agreed that he was wearing one too many layers.
Letting go of Draco’s jaw, Harry wrestled his coat, waistcoat and shirt off in a few rough movements, the fabric pooling behind him, toppling over several of the few odd trinkets scattered across Harry’s desk. Despite his best efforts to sustain the kiss, it became barely a brush of lips through the movements, finally breaking all together when Harry unceremoniously pulled his undershirts off by a grip of his back collar.
This was tossed to the floor, and in the same motion Harry reached for the collar of Draco’s shirt, using it to tug Draco closer. Although Harry stretched to place a poorly centred kiss to Draco’s lips, his attention was captured by his trailing hands, the sight of getting to undo Draco’s ministry issue waistcoat too dizzyingly arousing to pass by.


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PostPosted: Sat May 06, 2023 1:56 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco made quick work of the waistcoat, letting it drop unceremoniously on the ground, and was about to work on his next layer when Harry was suddenly shirtless in front of him. It was so easy to run his hands over Harry’s chest, relishing in the feeling of skin against skin; pointedly ignoring how much more muscle seemed to have become packed in there since the last time he did so.
Becoming too distracted to properly keep up the kiss, he instead let it stray, placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses to Harry’s jaw and neck, wanting to be able to consume Harry, wanting to have every single part of him.

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PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2023 3:11 am 

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Even though Harry had spent weeks reminiscing the exact feel of Draco’s touch, not yet ready to forget how it felt to be that wrapped up in him, it failed to compare to reality; no memory ever coming close to the way Draco was all-consuming, burning hot wherever his skin met Harry’s and leaving it ablaze in a way nobody else seemed able to ignite him.
With Draco’s trailing kisses, Harry felt like everything else grew fuzzy, head spinning like he was drunk. It was with clumsy movements he finished undoing the line of buttons on Draco’s shirt, hands almost frantically finding Draco’s bare chest. Running his hands up a familiar patterns from Draco’s midriff to his chest, there was a split-second recognition that the landscape of Draco’s chest, made up of raised scars, bone and muscle, had changed, but the instinct escaped him as soon as his hands had left Draco’s chest. Pushing his hands beneath the open shirt collar to wrap around Draco’s bare shoulders, Harry begged Draco to stay, and though all he could ask for was this moment in time, what Harry really meant was forever.


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PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2023 3:33 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco hadn’t seen Harry at all since their very ill-advised hookup, not that he had really expected to, knowing that they hadn’t exactly been seeing each other before all of that.
For a moment, Draco had really thought that it would help him out, helping him get get it out of his system, but it had only made the memory of his time with Harry all the stronger.
As was his way, Draco had thrown himself completely into his work, figuring that it was going to be easier to ignore any lingering feelings for Harry when he was at the ministry, and not home at the manor where the memory of Harry still lingered in every single room.
Hannah had left not too long ago, having had to leave to go on a date with her girlfriend, and it made made Draco realise that the ministry was growing quiet around him. That suited him all the better though, liking that he could throw himself completely into his research without fear of being interrupted.

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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2023 12:37 pm 

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Slowly but steadily, Harry felt like he was being cornered out of every space in his life by the ever-present memory of Draco. Harry had barely been able to spend time in his office these past few days, unsure if he would ever be able to shake the memory of Draco in it - and unsure if he wanted to, yet. Rather than face it, Harry had intentionally spent his days anywhere but there, doing what he could to keep himself distracted.
After all, it was Draco’s career on the line and so, it was his to risk. Although Harry was certain he wouldn’t - couldn’t - deny Draco anything if he were to ask for it again, Harry was painfully aware of the fact that the same grace wasn’t allowed the other way around, still Draco’s superior and hiring officer. There really wasn’t anything to do but to keep busy and out of memory’s way, although Harry felt like he could sick up with the effort.
He had been waiting at the lifts, heading for the street level exit to spend an evening killing time on Diagon Alley rather than returning to Grimmauld, when he crossed paths with Hannah Connor, seeming to do the very same. He had wanted to make polite conversation, to follow her out, but a sense of loss surged deep in the pit of his stomach, faced with the notion that Harry really didn’t want to talk to anyone but Draco.
Before the lift had arrived, Harry had made a hasty excuse of having forgotten something, turning back towards the bullpens. It wasn’t a coherent impulse beyond the certainty that Draco was still around, and the aching loss that Draco’s friendship left in Harry’s chest, feeling like they had not been set back months but whole decades.
No matter the value of their intimacy, how Harry had spent all of the weekend trying and failing to commit to memory the exact feel and pressure of Draco’s hands on him, Harry could no longer bear not even getting to talk to Draco. He hated the fact that he was once again becoming a version of himself who had dark magic in his chest and avoided Draco Malfoy like his life depended on it.
If nothing else, Harry couldn’t return to that.
Acting on nothing more than a hunch, Harry walked back towards the Cursebreaker offices. Reassurance flooded with adrenaline when he found Buchannan’s workspace illuminated. Harry stopped at the open doorway, looking at Draco deep in work, struck by the way a new image could feel so familiar.
“Hey,” Harry said, announcing his presence. For a moment, he seemed like he might leave at that, having nothing else coherent to say. “I saw Connor on her way out. You’re still at it?”


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PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2023 3:41 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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As if summoned by the mere thought of him, it took Draco a moment to recognise that Harry was actually standing in front of him and not just some apparition made by his sleep deprived mind; an unexpected side effect to breaking up the relation that they had been finding themselves in.
It made him feel flustered for a moment, having not expected to see anyone else at the ministry that late, knowing that he and Hannah were regularly the last ones to leave, however it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that Harry would be here as well.
He had really tried not to give it too much thought, knowing that only bad things would come from that pattern, but deep down he knew that Harry was faring no better than he was, having noticed it on his changed physique. It broke his heart, but he knew that it was still the best for them, still not keen on jeopardising his career within the ministry, even if it pained him terribly.
“Yeah, just finishing up,” he said with a soft smile, placing the quill he had been using for note taking next to his piece of parchment, feeling uncertain if he was going to get much more work done now. After all, he probably should head home as well, even if the manor continued to feel stifling and cold; a stern reminder to the joy he had found there for a while.
“What about you? You are here late,” he stated, trying to convince himself that he was simply making smalltalk, but he knew that he just wanted to keep Harry around for a little while longer, a naive part of him genuinely believing that they might be able to go back to being friends.

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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2023 11:22 am 

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It was almost impossible to read from Draco’s soft smiles and clumsy small talk just how intensely they had crashed together just mere days prior. Although Harry could perhaps convince himself that there was still affection behind Draco’s question, it all seemed so muted again in comparison to what it had just been, so utterly trivial. There was a pang of loss at the notion that he would never stop missing Draco, not even in his presence, if this was what they were reduced to; and still, how willingly Harry accepted any excuse to be around him.
“Yeah,” Harry agreed mindlessly, having not really prepared an explanation. Even without elaborating, Harry thought it must’ve been obvious why he was loitering at work rather than to go home, quite certain Draco was there for the same reasons. And knowing that, Harry ought to have left.
He didn’t. Against all reason, he took a few steps inside the office.
“I, uh,” he said, rubbing at his eyes beneath the rim of his glasses, pushing them up onto his forehead in an attempt to gather his thoughts. “I guess you know forensics still haven’t ID’d the body, so I’ve been trying to hurry through warrants to gain insight into Muggle records of missing persons for the area.”
Letting his hands fall and glasses resettle, he blinked at Draco, seeming to process just how parallelly they had been working for the past several weeks. “You’ve been in touch with Tsai about it, too, right?”


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PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2023 2:08 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco nodded at that, having been in extensive contact with Tsai during their entire project, having gotten a feeling that she was trying to sway him towards forensics rather than cursebreaking, which was just absurd to him. He had never thought that he would even be allowed to stay on as a cursebreaker, and the fact that there was potentially other ways for him as well just seemed too far fetched.
It was something that made him very proud though, and naturally that meant that it had been something that he had wanted to share with Harry, knowing that he would be the only one to properly understand his excitement. He had not been able to do so though, trying to stay away to keep the both of them safe, but it seemed like it was a battle that he was going to lose; knowing that he was never going to be able to turn Harry away.
“Extensively,” he noted, slowly starting to gather his notes and papers, figuring that he better head home soon, or maybe he just wanted to be able to turn his full focus on Harry, he wasn’t really sure.
“Tsai keeps insisting on only communicating with me, as well as making comments on how I am wasted on cursebreaking,” he couldn’t stop himself from adding, knowing that that wasn’t exactly what they were talking about, but he really could think of no one else he wanted to talk about this with other than Harry.

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PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2023 11:22 am 

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Even though Draco looked like he was putting a great effort into sounding casual, Harry quickly realised him sharing this was anything but. He tried not to get too caught up with the fact that Draco still felt compelled to share that with him - and how glad Harry was that he had.
“Yeah?” he encouraged, finding himself falling into old habits. The smile that pulled at his lips felt so familiar, as was watching Draco off-handedly mentioning the quite significant praise he had gotten on the job. “That’s brilliant.”
With Draco starting to pack up, Harry shifted his stance, not finding it appropriate for him to take a seat; it probably never had been, realising he at this point was simply loitering.
“I’m sure she appreciates getting to work with a Healer for a change,” he went on, if nothing else then to justify his presence, to call it a conversation.


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PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2023 3:26 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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This had been the exact reason that Draco had wanted to share this development with Harry and not anyone else. Harry wasn’t threatened by his potential move to another department, even if his entire career move had meant the end of their relationship, and he was just so pleased on Draco’s behalf. It had been exactly what Draco needed to see and maybe believe that he deserved to be happy.
“Yeah, it sure seems like it,” he stated with a soft smile as he finished packing up his things. When his last scrap of notepaper hit his bag though he was hit by a sense of loss, knowing that this would mean the end of his conversation with Harry and he didn’t know when they would see each other again.
Still, he got up from his chair and slung his back over his shoulder, knowing that it would be better if he got home and stopped thinking too much about Harry.
“Told me that it was refreshing that there is finally someone in cursebreaking who knows what they are talking about.”

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