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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2023 3:14 pm 

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There was a beat of silence between the three of them filled only by conversation and laughter from the nearby patrons. It was Paul who broke it, tapping a single intent with his palm against the edge of the table.
“I’ll buy the next,” he declared as he pushed his chair backwards, steadying himself against the table as he stood. There, for a moment, he reached for Draco, pressing a well-wish to his shoulder with as much affection as the situation permitted him.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2023 1:16 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Despite how harshly Draco had been thrown into it, he was finding that he was well suited for the work and was getting settled better than he had ever thought possible.
Now that he had gotten a uniform as well, he moved through the ministry with ease, getting better at ignoring the lingering glances as he went on his way, knowing that it wasn’t a reflection of him. After all, Buchannan trusted him fully and entirely, and that was honestly the more important thing to Draco.
Right now, he was on his way to check in with Tsai, the forensics witch that was working on the Towthorpe case with them. He was fascinated by the work they were doing in that department and Hannah seemed to be perfectly content with leaving that to him.
As he was walking towards the elevator his gaze was stuck on the documents in his hands, not paying his surroundings much mind until he got to the elevator and pressed the button for the correct floor.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2023 2:40 pm 

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A stack of sealed warrants in hand, Harry had finally embarked on the cross-departmental trip from the Minister’s offices to the courtrooms.
He had dragged his feet all day to do this last bit of tedious bureaucracy, having hoped to catch the lifts near-deserted, finding the ten floor descent dull enough at it were. When the elevator ding’ed merely a floor after entering it at the DLME, he glanced to his papers with a note of exasperation, not particularly keen to add to it the constant on- and off-boarding of travellers.
That was, perhaps, except for one.
Harry hadn’t seen Draco in weeks, having avoided each other so successfully and completely that Harry was aware that it must have been a mutual effort; and still, the way the mere sight of him made Harry’s heart ache betrayed the fact that it wasn’t entirely willingly.
“Hey,” he said, perhaps mostly because staying silent felt worse.
Although there was plenty of space in the lift for the both of them, Harry still shifted to make space as though he had lost all sense of what constituted a reasonable distance between them the moment they stopped being on top of one another.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2023 3:38 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco recognised Harry the second the elevator doors closed in front of him, leaving him unable to flee the scenario, as he had done so many times in the past couple of weeks.
He hadn’t necessarily wanted to avoid Harry, constantly craving his company still and missing him so much that it hurt, however he had known that it was a necessity if he wanted to keep them broken up. As he looked up at Harry’s face though, it was hard to remember exactly why he would have broken up with him in the first place. Harry was as painfully handsome as he always had been and in their little bubble of privacy it seemed like Draco was being personally torture.
“Hey,” he replied, finding that he couldn’t just ignore him, not when they were being forced together like this.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2023 4:19 pm 

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Despite his best attempts not to let his eyes wander, it was impossible not to notice Draco’s navy blue cursebreaker uniform. There was no denying how it propelled Draco’s professional image to the forefront, and how it filled Harry with equal measures pride and remorse, a little affected by the fact that it had been a milestone he had missed, having otherwise been so intertwined with the progression of Draco’s career. A little affected by the way it suited Draco, too, although that realisation remained far less productive.
“Congratulations,” Harry said when he forced himself to meet Draco eyeline, feeling obligated to acknowledge his wandering eye.
There really were plenty other things he wanted to say to Draco, but with no way of knowing how long they’d be in the lifts together, this was the easiest thing for Harry to address. Unsure if it was clear what he was referring to, he nodded towards Draco, marking a vague direction to his praise.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 11:08 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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There was no denying the shiver that ran down his spine as he noticed Harry’s eyes wandering, formerly accustomed to a gaze like that having wildly different connotations. It made his heart ache with loss, having been able to keep most of it at bay as long as he wasn’t around Harry. Now though, it was the only thing he could think about and he wanted nothing more than to pull him close and tell him how wrong he had been.
He refrained from doing so though, both because he knew that nothing good could come from it and also because the lift only provided so much privacy.
“Thank you,” he said instead, trying not to think of how much he had wanted to show off to Harry once Buchannan had handed him the uniform, knowing just how hard both of them had worked for him to get here.
“Buchannan thought I had earned it.”

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 11:35 am 

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“You have,” Harry agreed, a weak smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. It was bittersweet at best, though he really wished he could just feel happy for Draco without feeling the prang of loss. Like an itch in the very back of his mind, Harry felt sure he had thought as much far before Buchannan had ever met Draco.
Inadvertently, his eyes skimmed down Draco’s chest, needing to remind himself of everything good that had come to Draco, and how it couldn’t ever be sustainable if they had carried on as they were.
When he once again met Draco’s eye, he was able to offer a more convincing smile.
“It suits you.”


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:16 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The compliment brought the faintest of blush to Draco’s cheeks, having gotten used to receiving compliments from Harry in the past, but now it just felt different. He knew that neither of them could do much other than stand apart and make polite smalltalk, and he even doubted that Harry would even want a relationship like that with him again; not that that was something he could offer.
“Thanks,” he stated in a soft voice, wanting to be able to say so much more, however he knew that nothing good would ever come from that.
“How are you doing?” He asked instead, finding that the question had been burning on his mind and that he sincerely wanted to know what Harry had going on. Their lives had been so intertwined for the entire time that Harry had been living at the manor that having to cut Harry out entirely from one day to the next had left him with a hole in his own that he was uncertain how to fill.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2023 2:41 pm 

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The question made the corners of Harry’s lips upturn in a surprised ghosting of a smile; it wasn’t a bad nor unreasonable question, but it was far from easy to answer.
“I don’t know,” Harry said, the admission coming easily and without friction.
For everything that Harry still felt towards Draco, he didn’t feel any ill will towards him, unable to truly blame Draco for how things had developed and ended. Harry was, however, not unaware of the correlation - both how Draco’s presence had alleviated decade old loneliness, and how his absence had propelled Harry right back to its suffocating hold. More than anything, he felt numb, with no immediate sense of whether that was permanent or not.
Still, a soft little smile stayed on his lips as he looked at Draco.
“I’m still trying to figure that out.”


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 2:40 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The answer made guilt lurch in Draco’s stomach, knowing that the reason for Harry’s less than stellar place of mind likely had him as the catalyst. It made him feel sick, knowing that he had caused Harry stress over something that he hadn’t even wanted to do in the first place.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he stated, not sure what else he could say about it.
He couldn’t take back what he had done, knowing that it had cut too deep and that he had done it for the right reasons; that make it hurt less though.
It didn’t help that Harry was just smiling softly at him, a smile that Draco could tell wasn’t deeper than just surface, only serving to let the tendrils of guilt dig further into him.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 4:27 pm 

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Realising a little too late that saying it like that left room for Draco to misinterpret it, a furrow formed between Harry’s brows.
“Don’t be,” he dismissed, the statement washing away the last traces of a smile.
Glancing aimlessly at the panel, Harry attempted to lighten the mood, the sustained eye contact adding to everything that remained unsaid between them, thick in the air. When his attention returned onto Draco, the furrow remained but his demeanour was easier, more superficial about the topic.
“I’m seeing the Mind Healer again this Thursday,” he offered as an added explanation, realising that Draco was the only one he had shared that process with. Once again, there was an almost-smile on his lips, a trace of an inside joke. “I’m working on figuring it out.”


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 4:18 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The admission made Draco feel a little at a loss, knowing that he hadn’t really been around to check in on Harry’s symptoms since their breakup, too aware that he wouldn’t be able to be alone with him for any amount of time. It made him feel both guilty and proud that Harry was taking steps to get better, guilty because he so wished that he could be a part of it, yet knowing that it was his own fault that he couldn’t.
“Good,” he stated as the soft elevator ding announced that they had reached the end of their ride. It left him with a sense of a loss, not knowing when he was going to see Harry again and missing him so intensely that it made him stomach hurt.
He exited the elevator, already missing Harry so much that he could hardly breathe, but not without turning to look at Harry over his shoulder, sending him a soft smile before he went briskly towards forensics.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2023 4:29 am 

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Draco’s hurried but otherwise unassuming departure sent a pang to Harry’s heart, a sense of unease and loss having to face that this was what they’d become. For everything they had already stopped being, Harry wasn’t sure he could bear having to forgo being friends with Draco, not when Draco had been the sole witness to Harry’s life this past year.
As Draco exited the lift, Harry was left with a sense that mentioning therapy had been ill-advised - that, although it was a thing they both had come to learn about Harry, that too had been stowed away with everything else they’d learned.
It took him by surprise that Draco turned back to smile at him; Harry couldn’t help but return it, lifting his hand in a wave goodbye before he turned towards the stairwell down.


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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2023 3:03 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It was stupid.
Draco knew that it was stupid as he found himself loitering outside the door to Harry’s office, their conversation from Monday having not left his mind. No matter how much he had tried to convince Hannah and Paul that he was fine with having broken things soft with Harry, he knew that he missed him more than anything, Monday having confirmed that the hole that he felt in his chest was definitely shaped like Harry.
He wasn’t even sure if Harry would want to see him, after all, their conversation had been brief and hadn’t really revealed much about how Harry felt about him now, but Draco knew that he absolutely had to try.
He didn’t even have a proper excuse as to why he was loitering in this part of the ministry, knowing deep within himself that it didn’t make sense to lie to himself; he just missed Harry so much that he felt like he had to at least give it a shot.

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PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2023 3:53 pm 

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Attending the department Mind Healer for a psych evaluation was a sorry replacement for therapy, and still the mere act of going felt like it was worth something. Intentionally scheduled as late as possible, it at least ate away at his afternoons otherwise spent at Grimmauld, prolonging his stay at the Ministry in a way that felt active and productive.
It usually meant the Ministry was deserted once he returned to the DLME from Administration, making it that much more apparent that someone was at his door, even at a distance; and even at a distance, Harry recognized Draco immediately.
It made Harry’s stomach flip. After weeks of barely running into each other, Draco being here of all places, at this hour of the day, felt uncharacteristically purposeful in a way that made Harry’s head spin, desperately trying not to read too much into it.
“Hey,” he breathed as he approached, seeming first and foremost surprised to see Draco, even despite his best attempts at downplaying the way the mere sight of him had elevated his heartbeat.
“You’re here late.”


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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 12:04 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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No matter how stupid Draco knew his actions were, he had a hard time regretting his decision when he finally got to see Harry approach.
It was completely involuntary but a smile starting spreading on Draco’s lips, feeling light in a way that he hadn’t since he had broken up with Harry. In that moment, it seemed surreal that they had ever been anything but this, meeting outside Harry’s office after a long day.
Draco had missed Harry so much that the mere notion of getting to spend more time with him almost made him sob.
“You know me,” Draco stated, for a moment hit by just how true it was.
During their time together in the manor, Draco had allowed Harry to come close in a way that very few ever had, even before everything with the war. No one knew him like Harry did and Draco was slowly coming to realise that maybe no one ever would.
“How’d it go at the mind healer?” He found himself asking, not wanting to linger on what he was doing there in the first place; because he was absolutely certain that Harry already knew.

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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 1:20 pm 

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Coming to a stop ahead of his door, Harry was intent on not letting Draco’s presence derail his tentative routine, needing that meagre course of actions to keep him level headed in the conversation. Still, Harry couldn’t help but cast a sideways glance at Draco when he said a truth Harry had otherwise thought they were ignoring.
He didn’t comment on it.
Ducking his eyes, he looked down to retrieve his wand from its holster, using it to unlock his door. The question regarding his evaluation was not any less intimate, but the irony of Draco asking that today of all days made Harry scoff a little laugh.
“S’ alright,” he answered as he grabbed the doorknob, turning to look at Draco, the chuckle had left a smile on his lips. Opening the door Harry nodded into the room, an encouragement for Draco to join him, doing his best to treat Draco as any other coworker.


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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 2:20 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Seeing Harry smile absolutely floored Draco, having almost managed to forget just how well that smile managed to make his knees weak. Harry was so boyishly handsome that it was easy to forget what he had been through, something that made Draco yearn for him even more.
It was without a moment’s hesitation Draco followed Harry into his office, knowing that he was never not going to do what he could to be around Harry and he was sick and tired of trying to act like that wasn’t the case.
“Yeah? It’s helping?” Draco asked, desperately to try and find confirmation that Harry didn’t hate him now. He would definitely be able to understand if Harry had less than positive feelings towards him, he barely even understood why he still wanted to talk to him, but the idea that Harry couldn’t at all be in his life anymore had gutted him so severely that he needed any reassurance he could get.

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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 2:53 pm 

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As Harry allowed Draco to pass him, he experienced a moment of doubt, uncertain whether he had spent too much time thinking of Draco for it to be appropriate for him to go into any detail.
Therapy helped in the way that the Mind Healer seemed very adept in her line of questioning, but Harry was also aware of the fact that he was doing a poor job of being honest with her. Instead, he had come to spend the next few days following a session considering it in private, internalising that entire conversation on his own. It was only when Draco stood in front of him, inviting him to share, that Harry realised just how much he had itched to unload his thoughts with someone he trusted, once again bringing to the surface the immense sense of loneliness Harry had felt in his absence.
Harry finally closed the door behind them.
“Yeah, I think so,” he eventually, knowing he had probably sounded a good bit more optimistic when they had crossed ways in the lift earlier this week.
He should have left it at that, but Harry felt the words bubble up in his throat, too weak to pass up the opportunity to say these things to someone. It all but spilled out of him. “She’s been suggesting I had a PTSD episode back at Towthorpe and that I haven’t really settled back afterwards.”


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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2023 3:30 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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As the door closed behind them, Draco got final confirmation of the things he already knew; that this was a terribly bad idea and that he found himself hard pressed to really care too much about it.
Having allowed himself to get used to having Harry around had been his first mistake but now that he had it seemed so impossible to go without him. He missed him so much that even being in his company now soothed an ache that he had barely noticed to be there, finding that Harry filled out an emptiness that he had previously thought would always be there.
“That makes sense,” he stated, mostly wanting to prompt Harry to keep talking, only now realising how much he had missed just hearing him talk as well.

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