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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2019 3:49 pm 

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The sheer suprise of Sirius reestablishing the touch made Remus flinch, almost making him stumble over himself when Sirius subsequently tugged him forward.
During the fraction of a moment their hands had been apart, Remus' hand had cooled off in the evening air, and Sirius' touch felt like it was setting his skin ablaze.
Barely taking a moment to process it all, Remus startled retrieved his hand.
He knew it was a mistake the moment he fully had let go, but the beating of his own heart was so deafening he couldn't finish a train of thought. Everything had veen feeling so domestic that it couldn't be real, and Remus didn't know any other way to protect himself other than pulling away.
Instead, he used thar hand to reach out for the tree.
"It's nice," he said, barely being able to fully see it out of sheer embarrasment.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 3:14 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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The loss of Remus’ hand for the second time made Sirius feel like he might have overstepped. He knew that Remus didn’t always appreciate being too touchy in public, but it hadn’t been a problem moments ago, so he didn’t know how to read the situation. The girl had stepped away to help another customer for a bit, so Sirius did feel like he could call out Remus on the move.
“You don’t like holding my hand?” He asked, not wanting to make Remus feel uncomfortable, but he also really did want to hold his hand.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 02, 2019 3:01 pm 

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"No," he blurted out, startled. Sirius' question made Remus' heart drop; while it didn't come as a surprise that Sirius had noticed Remus' shift, he felt unprepared to have this conversation. He barely heard Sirius' question as he turned to meet Sirius' eye. "No, it's not that."
Looking at Sirius Remus wished he could conjure a reasonable excuse, but even the fact that they were in public felt like a poor ine at best. He felt his mouth go dry knowing he couldn't tell Sirius that he liked holding his hand too much.
Remus could hear the hurt in between the bluntness of Sirius' question, and there was nothing Remus wanted more than to soothe that.
"It's not that at all," he answered. "I love you. You know that. I got in my own head about it; we're supposed to lay low during the war and it just suddenly hit me how public this is."
Hiding the truth between lies almost felt worse than not saying it at all, but Remus didn't know how else to go about it. There was a twitch in his arm that gave away how we considered reaching out for Sirius, but didn't. "I'm sorry, it's not you, it never is."


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2019 11:45 am 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Sirius still didn’t quite understand why Remus wouldn’t hold his hand, but it really did seem to make him extremely uncomfortable and Sirius didn’t want to force himself onto him, so he let it go. It wasn’t without a feeling of having done something wrong though and he fully intended on asking into it later. He wanted to know if he had accidentally done something to upset Remus and if he had, he wanted to hear how he could make it good again.
“Right,” he said, clearly not buying Remus’ excuse, but also not intending to dig into it. It seemed like something that could potentially hurt their friendship and that was the last thing Sirius wanted to happen.
“So I’m thinking that we go with that. I think it’d look grand in Lily and James’ flat,” he said, feeling the need to change the subject into something a lot more lighthearted.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2019 5:04 pm 

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Sirius' answer immediately made Remus almost impossibly flushed, feeling both embarrassed and stupid by his clumsy answer. His blood felt like it was burning hot and as a result, the sudden blood rush to his face made the winter air sting on his heated cheeks. Unable to think of any response that could help him recover, Remus just glanced away, shoving his hands into his coat pockets where they wouldn't cause any more embarrassments.
Remus heart felt like it was in his throat and he barely was able to comprehend whatever Sirius was saying to the girl working the sale. Restlessly, Remus shifted his stance, having to fight the urge to flee the scene.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 3:38 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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The sudden tension between the two of them felt stifling to Sirius, but he wasn’t sure if there was something he could do about it. He didn’t even know what he had done wrong, if anything at all, but he was worried that he had overstepped somehow.
“Do you think that this could be in the sidecart of a motorcycle?” Sirius asked the girl, wanting to get w move on.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:45 am 

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Remus' dumb little gesture has so effectively taken a hold if the situation that Remus almost found it hard to breathe. He felt like he was burning a thousand degrees warm and what little air he was able to inhale was so cold it burned his throat.
"Sure, if you tie it up alright," the girl chirped somewhere that felt like another dimension to Remus. A rustling out if his line if sight told hin she had picked up the tree.
Swallowing hard, needung to swallow both the embarrasment and his own pride, he took half a step forward towards Sirius. It was only when Remus' fingers caught a hold of the sleeve if Sirius coat that Remus' eyes finally found the other.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, eyes darting to their hands. Remus wanted to take a hold of Sirius' hand again, but they were already making such a spectacle that he couldn't get himself to so it. He, however, tightened his grip around Sirius' sleeve, pulling his arm slightly closer. He looked back uo at Sirius. "I'm - on edge. I'm sorry."


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2019 3:34 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Sirius really wanted to take Remus’ hand again, but with the rejection still fresh in mind he didn’t want to risk it. It didn’t help that Remus was clinging to his sleeve, making it all the easier to reach out and grab his hand.
“We’ll be out of muggle London soon, I swear,” Sirius said in a soft voice, making sure that he hadn’t caught the attention of any muggles nearby. They’d go directly to James’ and Lily’s and get Remus back inside. It was probably too cold out for Remus anyway and Sirius couldn’t help but feel irresponsible for dragging him out here in the first place.
“Just try to breathe. I’ll drive really nicely, I swear.”

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:59 am 

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The sincerity of Sirius' words only served to feel Remus feel worse. It collected as a pit in the very bottom of his stomach, hating that everything had taken such a turn. Remus didn't know what to do of the knowledge that being close to Sirius made his heart ache in a way, that made him appear genuinely anxious. He, however, found that Sirius' comment was well placed, and Remus took a much needed, deep inhale.
"Thank you," he spoke on the exhale. Not knowing what else to do, Remus let go of Sirius' coat to instead run it up the inside other's forearm. Remus' hand rested just above Sirius' elbow for a moment, wanting it to serve as a reassurance, before eventually breaking contact fully. "I'm sorry."


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2019 5:20 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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“Don’t apologise,” Sirius said in a soft voice, gently placing a hand on Remus’ shoulder to give it a squeeze before letting go of him again. He didn’t want to make Remus more uncomfortable than he clearly already was, so there was no reason to force his caress onto him. They were very much in public after all and in muggle public no less.
“We’ll be ready to leave in a moment,” he said with a soft smile, a smile he regained contact with the young woman and showed her to his motorcycle. It was probably for the best to get Remus off the street.

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PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2019 2:30 pm 

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______________________________________

Remus was absolutely exhausted. He realized that the most significant part of that was mental exhaustion stemming from the train wreck it had been going shopping for a Christmas tree. The sheer feeling of mortification still lingered in the back of his mind, but as the evening crept to an end, Remus was too tired to feel uncomfortable around Sirius.
When Remus finally settled down on Lily and James' sofa, he did so right next to Sirius, favoring to lean against him rather than the plush backrest. For a moment, Remus felt a million years old, letting out a soft huff.
Lily had, of course, greatly appreciated the tree, and had spent the last few hours scavenging the sparsely furnished home for trinkets to use as decorations. As far as Remus could tell from where he had been cleaning the kitchen after tea, James had gone to check on the sleeping Harry.
"It was a good idea," Remus muttered softly, but otherwise unmoving. "Getting them a tree."


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PostPosted: Sun May 12, 2019 3:02 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Even if things had been tense between the two of them while they had been tree shopping, Sirius was still relieved when Remus cuddled up against him on James and Lily’s couch. He had feared that he had somehow offended Remus or done something wrong, but as they were both sitting on the couch, both clearly tired, it brought peace to Sirius’ mind to feel Remus’ body pressed against his own.
“I do get them sometimes,” he said with a crooked grin as he gently wrapped his arm around Remus, wanting to hold him close. He gently started caressing Remus’ upper arm, wanting to make him feel comfortable and safe. There was a lot of **** going on in their lives, but when they were sitting like this it was easy to forget about for a while.
“The good ideas that is.”

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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 4:00 pm 

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When Sirius put an arm around him, Remus willingly sunk further into the embrace, leaning his head against Sirius' arm. He felt the slight flexing and relaxing of the muscles in Sirius' arm as his hand moved up and down. Had he closed his eyes, Remus could almost imagine Sirius' touch was real and not just an expression of their mutual need for human proximity during the war; figuring he ought to spare himself the disappointment, Remus didn't close them.
Instead, he hummed. "That's new then, isn't it?"
Remus' hand crept up to catch a hold of Sirius' wrist, softly urging it to a standstil. Almost lazily and with a teasing frown between his brows, Remus turned his head in order to meet Sirius' eye. "You didn't have those at Hogwarts."


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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 11:38 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Sirius couldn’t help but grin at that, glad that Remus wanted to joke around, even if he was clearly exhausted and on the brink of falling asleep. Prompted by Remus, he stopped caressing him while still holding him close, not wanting to push his luck too much.
“Yeah, I figured that it would be refreshing for me to try something new,” he said with a crooked grin, leaning down to carefully press a kiss to Remus’ forehead. “I’m not sure how I’m enjoying that look on me though, so enjoy it while it lasts.”

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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2019 3:27 am 

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When Remus saw Sirius lean forward, he instinctively closed his eyes; it was only when he felt Sirius's lips brush against his forehead that he truly understood how heartbreakingly starved his own expectations had been. He felt his face blush, but as he once again opened his eyes, he didn't turn away.
"I will," he said, a small, crooked grin on his lips desperately trying to bring back a joking edge to his voice, well aware that he kiss had softened it. He felt the itch to kiss Sirius in the very back of his throat. Finally unable to look at Sirius any longer, he dipped his chin and rolled his head back to the crook of Sirius' arm.
Remus' fingers thoughtlessly moved on Sirius' wrist, creeping under the other's shirt sleeve in order to brush against the back of Sirius' wrist. "I'm trying to enjoy everything these days, even your run of the mill awful ideas."


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