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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 5:13 pm 

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The tension in the air was absolutely suffocating; even the soft clatter of the keys exchanging hands was so loud it made Remus' ears ring. Though he felt like he was drowning, los at sea, Remus couldn't get himself to reach out for Sirius. The hand off happened without their hands touching, Remus' hand ghosting an inch above Sirius' outstretched palm.
"Don't worry about it," he answered, voice barely there. He couldn't tell whether or not Sirius was being sarcastic; not able to read the tone of their exchange, Remus feared his words had come across as harsh. In an attempt to soften them, he added a little, "I can get new ones."
Whether or not he would survive long enough to even think about his potted plants, time would only tell. Though it had started to feel unlikely, Remus felt like he owed Sirius at least a charade.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 06, 2019 12:39 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Even if Remus didn't say it outright, Sirius knew exactly what he was implying. They had been best friends for far too long for Sirius to not be able to read Remus better than that and he knew that Remus didn't think that he would come back. This absolutely broke Sirius, yet he didn't want the pain to show and thus knew that he would not be able to look at Remus. He wanted to reach out for him, making him stay in any way possible, but as he raised his hand he could tell that the moment was gone; the intimacy they had shared was gone and he doubted that he would ever get to have that back again.
"Please come back to me," he pleaded, not sure what else he could possibly say in a situation like this. "I need you to come back to me."

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 10:23 am 

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Remus heart was breaking. It was hard to tell whether it was Sirius' words or the sight of Sirius' hand first reaching out for him, and then immediately regret it that finally tipped Remus over the edge. Having otherwise convinced himself that he didn't need the comfort of Sirius touch to say his goodbyes, Remus met Sirius' gesture half way.
Catching Sirius' wrist before it one again was fully out of reach, Remus heart sank at the ralisation that Sirius no longer felt like he could touch Remus. Feeling his eyes go glassy, Remus' fingers wandered from Sirius' wrist to his palm, interviewning themselves with Sirius'.
"I know," he said, voice low and jagged, fearing it might break. His eyes had dipped to their hands, unable to meet Sirius' eyes without crying.
The possibility of having the last thing he'd say to Sirius be a promise he could not keep made a knot form in the back of his throat. Instead, he said the only truth he was certain of. "I'm here, I'm yours."


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 12:17 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius had thought that the lack of touch was what was going to hurt the most, but once Remus held his in his he quickly realised that that had not been the case. In fact, holding his hand like this felt even worse, because Sirius knew that Remus was going to leave and odds were that they were never going to see each other again. It made Sirius ache and want to never let Remus go again, knowing what it entailed to not be around him.
“For now,” he said, biting his bottom lip and doing what he could to keep himself together. He loved Remus with everything he had and it pained him to have to let him go. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 14, 2019 8:54 am 

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Sirius' words made Remus heart ache, a sharp pain to his chest. He closed his eyes, brows furrowing as he raked his mind for anything that was right to say. Looking back up at Sirius felt raw and intimidating, and though Remus did, eventually, open his eyes, they remained hesitantly directed towards their hands.
With a shaky inhale, Remus shifted, adjusting his jacket with half a shrug in order to free his other hand from the drooping length of the sleeve; this hand, too, wrapped around Sirius'.
As he tugged Sirius' hand closer, Remus could feel the trembling breathing of a choked sob reflect in a slight tremor of his hands. Gingerly, Remus untangled his fingers from Sirius, in order to instead press a kiss to Sirius' palm. It had only been minutes since Sirius had helped dress his wounds, but in that moment Remus could only think of a blur of 10 years of full moons.
Muttering against Sirius' skin, Remus repeated the half he knew quickly was solidifying into an eternal fact. "I'm yours, Sirius."


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 4:30 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It was almost physically painful to see Remus like this, especially because Sirius knew that none of what he said meant anything. Despite everything Sirius felt for Remus, Remus still had to leave now and Sirius was doubting more and more that he was ever going to come back to him. It took everything in him not to cry, but he refused to make this harder for Remus than it already was.
“And I’m yours,” he added in a soft voice, scared that it was going to break if he spoke too loudly. He desperately ante to pull Remus in close and never let him go again, kiss him so that he will change his mind, but he knows that it’s no use. “I’ve always been yours.”

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2019 6:45 pm 

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Yet again, Remus found that all he could do not to well up with tears was to close his eyes shut. He felt old beyond his age, knowing he had no choice but to follow orders and leave Sirius behind. For a brief moment of clarity, all Remus could think was how he wished he could act his age and hide.
Eyes still shut, a frown was yet again forming between his brow. Sirius voice and words were spilling over with unsaid conversations, and Remus could cry at the knowledge that time had run out for them. Somewhere deep in his appartment, the wall cluck struck the hour, and Remus knew reality had finally caught up with them.
As he opened his eyes, Remus only actually allowed himself to properly look at Sirius for a fraction of a second. Eyes reddening and glassy with tears, Remus' right hand reached out for the nape of Sirius' neck, leaning in to press a kiss to Sirius' forehead. In parallel, his grip around Sirius' hand tightened.
Though letting go of Sirius' hand felt like letting go of his lifeline itself, Remus only allowed himself to linger long enough blink away the forming tears. With no other words nor gazed, Remus withdrew himself, eliminating all physical contact in one shift motion. Without looking at Sirius, Remus apparatred with a loud crack.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2019 3:15 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The kiss was far too much, yet not nearly enough. Sirius yearned for Remus to stay closer to him and it took everything in him to not reach out for him and pull him right back in his arms. He didn’t want Remus to go but he knew that it was not his choice and that he had absolutely no say in it.
The crack from Remus apparating was nauseatingly loud in the empty flat and Sirius felt like Remus had taken a part of him with him and now Sirius would have to do without. He wanted to cry, but he found that, while the tears welled up his eyes, he couldn’t get them to fall. He had a terrible ache in his chest and he absolutely felt like vomiting.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 17, 2019 4:58 pm 

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________________________________________

Remus almost stumbled over when he finally apparatet the final stretch into the narrow foyer of his flat.
On Moody's behest, it felt like he had criss crossed the country, from one safe house to another, putting in the effort to muddle off his path and disguising the specific point from where he had last left the pack. The unmistakable smell of home hit him like truck, and after months surrounded by nothing of dampness and smoke, Remus let out a single, choked sob.
He felt his eyes well up with tears out of sheer relief. Comforted by the soft, familiar twilight of the room, Remus blinked the tears back, Remus finally moved, pushing his tattered oilskin coat off his shoulders, falling against the tile with a soft thud.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 5:13 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Even if it probably was to no use, Sirius had been keeping his promise and watered Remus’ houseplants. It wasn’t as much for Remus’ fault as it was just for his own. If he kept Remus’ place well kept and his plants watered, he could keep himself convinced that he would be coming back.
It had been a painful experience for the most part, but he had done it nonetheless, if for nothing else to feel like he had a purpose.
He had been mostly caught in his own thoughts, having just finished watering all the plants and talking himself into leaving again, when he heard a loud crack. It sent a chill down his spine and brought back that feeling of nausea that he had had when Remus left, but he didn’t dare believe that his hopes could actually be true.
He took a deep breath and peered around the wall, feeling his chest and throat tighten and tears well up in his eyes at the sight that met him. “Moony?”

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 5:28 pm 

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The sound of somebody else's voice made Remus' entire body flinch, his body reacting far quicker than his mind could process the word which had been spoken. Instinctively, he turned towards the sound, a startled expression painted across his features. One hand had grasped into the thin air across his chest, gripping for his wand out of sheer muscle memory.
The same moment he realized the wand was on the floor with his coat, was the same moment he seemed to recognize the face peering out on him from the living room.
For a brief second his adrenaline surged, the only thing going through Remus' mind was how he had survived this long only to be killed in his own foyer. Now, as his body realized the immediate threat had passed, every single muscle ached out of the sheer strain put on them by the scare. The look of fright gave way for a pure look of exhaustion.
Shifting his stance and letting his hand fall to his side. The sight of Sirius was absolutely incomprehensible, partially because he hadn't expected the other to be here - partially because Remus hadn't been certain Sirius was alive.
"Hi, Pads."
Remus' voice was barely a whisper, his voice too strained with pent up emotion to truly sound relieved. It was, however, the only emotion Remus could fully distinguish. He couldn't express the relief that bubbled through him, realizing that they had made it and that they were both here back in his entryway after what felt like a lifetime apart. Yet, in spite of his relief, Remus didn't dare cross the distance between them.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 3:31 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius couldn’t even remember moving, but suddenly he found that he had wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist and his head buried in his chest. He had known that he had missed Remus, but he had had no idea just how much until he saw him right in front of him. The ache that had taken permanent residence in his chest finally ceased and Sirius felt like he could cry.
“Oh god, Moony,” he muttered, scared that his voice was going to break if he spoke much louder. He knew that he never wanted to let go of Remus again, not for any reason, and there was no way he was ever going to allow him to go on a mission like that ever again. It was selfish, but Sirius knew that he wouldn’t be able to be separated from Remus in that way ever again. He was going to do anything in his might to stop that from ever happening.
“You came back,” he sobbed, unable to stop himself from crying anymore.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:09 pm 

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Remus saw every single movement it took Sirius to cross the distance between them, and yet the embrace still completely knocked the air out of his lungs. After weeks of sparse and hostile touches, the tightness of Sirius' grip almost made Remus' knees buckle.
In the same instant as he inhaled, Remus reciprocated the touch, wrapping his arms around Sirius' shoulder.
"Hi, Pads," he just repeated, at a lack of words, his voice cracking over into a laughed sob. A relieved smile was on Remus' lips as he met Sirius' presence, burying his face against the crook of Sirius' neck.
His voice was between a chuckle and a cough as he spoke."You're here."
Remus had barely been able to process Sirius' presence at first sight but now, arms wrapped around each other, Remus couldn't keep his eyes from brimming over with tears. It had so quickly become so dizzyingly obvious that it had been Sirius' presence that had made his flat smell like home.
Unable to put any of this into words, Remus' right hand left Sirius' shoulder in favour for the other's hair. Almost frantically, it started at the nape of Sirius' neck, before almost immediately moving to card through his hair, wanting to push as much of it out of his face.
Remus, too, had leaned back in that motion. Tears had drawn lines down the fine layer of soot on his face, and yet he couldn't keep himself from smiling.
"I came back to you, Pads," he said, lips pressing against Sirius' hair before he had finished the sentence.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:22 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Those words made a loud sob break through Sirius, feeling the tears run down his cheeks as he kept hiding his face in Remus’ chest. Despite what they had been talking about prior to Remus leaving, it still seemed completely unbelievable to him that Remus actually would come back to him.
Unsure how else to explain the feelings that went through him, Sirius just found himself muttering “I love you” into the slightly rough fabric of Remus’ sweater. He was completely overwhelmed by actually being close to Remus again, having felt absolutely certain that he would never see him again, and a part of him was convinced that this was just a dream and that he would wake up any second.
He knew that his grip was probably a little too tight, not sure if Remus had any injuries he should be aware of; all he could think of was ways to keep Remus close to him and never letting him go ever again.
The feeling of Remus’ lips against his hair sent a shiver through his body, finding himself placing a kiss to Remus’ clavicle, needing any and all confirmation that he was actually there.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 4:40 pm 

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Even though Sirius' voice was barely whisper, in the dead silence of the flat, Sirius' words were as bright as day and Remus was in no moment in doubt that he had head correctly. Remus felt his heart skip a beat.
Without any sense of how rough he was being, both of Remus' hands found their way to the sides of Sirius' face, fingers burying into the hair by Sirius' temple. Insistingly, Remus tugged Sirius at a distance, tipping his head upwards.
Before even thinking twice about responding, Remus pressed a starved kiss to Sirius' lips. Having to go without Sirius' intimacy now that he had finally allowed himself to indulge in it had been difficult beyond words, and now that Sirius was here, loving him, Remus didn't know what else to do but to kiss him.
"I love you," he repeated, their lips barely parting for Remus to say it. Despite not kissing Sirius again, Remus barely leaned away, as he allowed himself to look at Sirius through teary eyes. His hands carded through Sirius' hair before once again cupping Sirius' jaw. "I love you, too, Pads, I do."


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 6:15 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The roughness with which Remus was holding him made Sirius’ breath hitch in his throat and made his grip on Remus tighten. The kiss made Sirius’ head spin, barely able to believe that he actually got to kiss Remus again after having been without it for so long.
However, the kiss didn’t measure up to hearing Remus actually say that he loved him. He knew that it was true and that they both had been loving each other for so long, but actually hearing it said like that made Sirius’ head spin, barely able to believe that all of this was actually happening to him.
“Moony, I love you so much,” he said in a soft voice, tears still falling from his eyes, even as the sobs ceased. Feeling Remus’ arms around him and being close to him was almost too much for him to take, but he also knew that the idea of being away from Remus wasn’t an option.
He leant his forehead against Remus’, his eyes closing softly as he breathed in the scent of Remus. He just wanted to be close to him and never let go of him again. “I know and I love you.”

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 6:34 am 

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Remus let out a chuckled sob, overcome not only by love but relief. When saying out loud that he loved Sirius had almost felt redundant, yet hearing Sirius repeat it with such insistence made Remus' breath catch in his throat.
Without objection, Remus leaned in to meet Sirius' touch. Sirius' breath felt hot against his skin, making the hairs of Remus' neck stand. For a brief moment, that sensation clouded Remus' mind, leaving him with the sole thought that not only was Sirius here, he was still breathing.
"I know," he muttered, eyes blinking open despite the short distance.
At the realisation that tears were still streaming down Sirius' face, Remus' hands moved, allowing his thumbs to gently brush against Sirius' cheeks, brushing away the worst of it.
"I can't believe you're here," he admitted, voice once again choked. His eyes once again falling shut, Remus tipped his head towards Sirius, noses brushing together, before his lips once again found Sirius' forehead. "I - thought I would have to go look for you, I didn't know where to start -"


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:34 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The mere idea of potentially missing Remus was heart breaking to Sirius and made him tighten his grip around the other, wanting to make sure that he kept him close. It was very silly, especially considering the fact that they barely could get any closer, but he had been longing to get Remus close again and now that he had it he couldn’t fathom the idea of letting go.
“I had promised to water you plants, hadn’t I?” He asked with a crooked grin, leaning softly into the touch as the tears stopped coming. The desperation was replaced with a sense of relief and an overwhelming sense of love.
“We would have found each other,” he said in a certain voice, unable to handle the idea of anything else.
“We always find each other,” he added, before catching Remus’ lips in another, this time more tender, kiss.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 3:32 pm 

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Remus sighed into the kiss, unable to keep a smile off his face. He couldn't think of a time they had found each other - ever since they met at age 11, Sirius had been a constant presence in Remus' life. It would, however, be a lie to say that Sirius' words didn't serve as comfort, making his heart flutter.
Though Sirius' kiss didn't invite more, Remus still found that he lingered, relishing the touch. His hands still remained framing Sirius' face, allowing him to keep the other close for another heartfelt moment.
When Remus finally broke the kiss, he didn't move far away. Sirius' arms were still tightly wrapped around him, and Remus knew he risked collapsing if he let go of him.
With a ginger touch, Remus' thumb brushed across Sirius' dry cheekbone. He parted his lips as if to speak, but he couldn't find the words to express his gratitude. After a moment of silence, the corner of Remus' mouth tugged upwards.
"I've missed you," he said, leaning in as he spoke. His words ghosted across Sirius' lips, pressing another kiss to Sirius' lips as soon as the sentence had left his lips.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 12:33 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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“I missed you too,” Sirius replied immediately, having missed Remus so much that his chest had been aching. Even now that he was around Remus again he could still feel the soft ache in his chest and he feared that he would lose him again. He let the kiss go on for a little longer, but suddenly Sirius remembered just what Remus had come home from and softly broke the kiss.
“You must be completely knackered though,” he said in a soft voice, carefully reaching up to cup Remus’ cheek and looking into his eyes. He was so deeply in love with Remus and having him back was so much for him to handle.
“Do you want me to leave so you can rest up properly?” He offered, not because he was keen on leaving, but because he wanted to make sure that Remus was going to be okay.

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