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PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 12:05 pm 

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For the life of him, Remus couldn't explain the reservation he felt around the idea of Sirius loving him. Remus loved Sirius and had done so for years. The feeling of Sirius' hand raking through his hair only served to confirm it, feeling how much of the anxiety building in his chest melted away under the softness of Sirius' touch. Yet, the idea that the feeling was mutual was almost unthinkable.
Remus had loved Sirius for years, and over the course, the type of love had changed and evolved, and Remus was no longer certain he could distinguish his platonic love for Sirius for the romantic - in fact, he didn't know for certain if they had ever not been intertwined. He had gotten so used to excusing Sirius' affection as platonic, that Remus, even now, found it difficult hearing anything out of the ordinary in Sirius voice when he said he loved him.
Remus felt like he was out depth, and even though he knew Sirius deserved a quicker answer, Remus couldn't form a sentence. Trying to judge extent of Sirius' love felt overwhelming and almost as if he was intruding. Even assuming that Sirius' love was romantic felt too bold, even though they had recently shared a kiss that still made Remus' skin tingle.
Finding themselves to be the mirrored image of that night did serve as some comfort, for when words failed him, Remus relied on muscle memory. With his heart in his throat, Remus' hands moved to cup Sirius' neck, his thumbs carefully resting against the pulse points under Sirius' jaw. Every single one of Remus' movements were slow and tentative, almost expecting Sirius to object at any given moment.
When that wasn't the case, Remus carefully crossed the distance, meeting Sirius' lips in a kiss filled with pent up emotion.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 08, 2019 3:21 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Even if Sirius really should have seen the kiss coming, then he was still surprised when Remus’ lips actually collided with his own once more. His grip in Remus’ hair involuntarily tightened as Sirius desperately pulled Remus closer to him, his other arm finding purpose around Remus’ waist in an attempt to get even more physical contact.
He was completely overwhelmed with love for Remus and he really had no idea how to properly show or tell him that, other than through eagerly returning his kiss. He had no idea what the future would bring for them; he had never thought that they would ever get to be anything beyond best friends, but he knew that right in that moment, he was happier than he had been for a very long time and even if it was a dream, then he did not want to wake up ever again.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:43 pm 

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Remus felt like he had been drowning and Sirius was a breath of fresh air. Had it not been for the grip Sirius had around his hair, Remus feared he might have collapsed, his legs bukling under the sheer feeling of relief that went through Remus. The fact that Sirius so willingly reciprocated the touch and the kiss raised more questions than it answered, yet Remus readily settled on the fact that Sirius wanted him. Wanted him.
Already feeling lightheaded and short of breath the feeling of Sirius' arm around his bare waist made Remus flinch, the muscles in his abdomen contrating hard enough to knock out what little air Remus had in him. The shudder that went through him formed a choked, little sound that got stuck deep in his throat. Remus moved away from Sirius' touch before he even realized he had done it.
For a moment, Remus' lips had left Sirius, only far enough that Remus could steady his breathing and the tension in his muscles. His hands remained insistent around Sirius' jaw, not wanting the other to move, or to retrieve his hands, for that matter. Nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of Sirius' hands against his bare skin, especially not in an embrace like this. The low hum of discomfort gradually grew, but not on his skin, only in the very back of his mind. Not wanting to linger on what he already knew provoked those those thoughts, Remus leaned in to once again meet Sirius' lips, desperately needing to drown out any brewing feelings of inferiority.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 6:34 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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It had taken many years of practice, but over the years Sirius had become very accustomed to having to read Remus’ body language and react to any signs of discomfort in him. He had noticed the flinch but he almost allowed to let himself get carried away by the kiss once more, finding the intimacy completely addictive. He knew that he would easily be able to get used to kissing and being kissed by Remus.
However, he had to be sensitive and the reminder of the moon nearing brought Sirius to his senses, not wanting to bring either of them into a potentially dangerous situation, nor did he want to accidentally hurt Remus.
He allowed himself to kiss Remus a little while longer, simply too weak to deny himself the pleasure of going on just a little while longer.
When he broke the kiss, he still kept Remus close, not able to bear the idea of not being lose to Remus anymore, even if he knew that it would probably be wiser. He did lean in to place a quick kiss to the corner of Remus’ mouth, not able to help himself anymore.
“I’m sorry. Did I squeeze you too tightly?” He asked in a worried voice.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:27 am 

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Remus exhaled a shaky breath when Sirius not only broke the kiss, but also addressed the elephant in the room; the undeniable fact, that Remus was hurting.
"No," Remus lied, quickly, not keen to entertain this conversation. Wanting to shift focus, Remus carded both hands through Sirius' hair, resettling his them on he nape of Sirius' neck. Not wanting Sirius to get a chance to interject, Remus tipped his head to one side, once again meeting Sirius' lips with his own.
While the tightness of Sirius' embrace sent his already feverish head spinning, then Remus didn't feel prepared to admit that he hated being touched. Deep in the pit of is subconsciousness, Remus desperately craved Sirius' touch, yet, especially on the night on the moon, Remus loathed being reminded of the poor state of his being.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:17 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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There were very few things Sirius wanted more than to keep kissing Remus for the rest of the evening and just not think about consequences for a while. Sadly, one of those things were to keep the both of them safe and make sure that Remus got properly caged up for the moon.
Allowing himself to briefly return the kiss, simply too weak to not give in, Sirius broke the kiss once more, staying close and placing a kiss to the corner of Remus’ mouth and down to his jaw.
“The moon,” he stated, as he reached Remus’ neck, placing soft kisses down it in an attempt to make him calm down. “I’m sorry but we have to.”

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 5:08 pm 

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The feeling of Sirius' lips against his neck made Remus' breath hitch, barely hearing what Sirius was saying. However, in the pit of his stomach and in the itching of his fingernails, he knew. The intimacy of Sirius' caresses was helplessly overpowered by a primal discomfort of baring his neck; it was when Remus' realized that the itch in his skin was from want to bite at Sirius' neck that it truly hit him how careless he was being.
"Yeah," he choked out, not fully feeling present in his own body any longer. With the same desperation he had moments before reached out for Sirius, he now untangled himself from the embrace. "Yeah, you're right."


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:03 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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_________
The moon had been just as awful as it always was and Sirius had only really gotten comfort once he had treated Remus’ wounds and they were lying in his bed. They had both been sleeping, but Sirius was unsure how much exactly when he woke up, basically draped over Remus’ chest.
Unsure whether or not Remus was awake as well, Sirius found himself placing soft kisses to whatever skin he could reach, not sure if he was still allowed to actually kiss Remus, but he wanted to push his luck just a little; if only because Remus would have to leave soon and Sirius barely could stand the thought of being apart from him.
It was stupid, seeing as it wasn’t something that hadn’t happened before, yet Sirius could already feel his heart ache by the mere thought of being apart from Remus for any period of time.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:27 pm 

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Remus had been deep in such a pitch black, dreamless sleep, that, when Sirius’ caresses woke him, he woke up feeling like he was dreaming. The lines and contours of reality still felt fuzzy, and, with his eyes still closed, Remus tried to picture his own body. He felt like the only parts of him that felt real were the few square inches Sirius mapped out with kisses.
With a soft exhale, Remus finally shifted. It was only when moving that he truly became aware of his state of undress, his bare skin brushing against the fabric of Sirius’ shirt. In the back of his sleepy mind, Remus realized the only parts of him that felt grounded had been in direct contact with Sirius. Not fully aware of what that meant, Remus moved closer to the other to chase that feeling.
Remus pushed himself off the mattress, incorporating himself far enough to tip Sirius’ onto his back. In the same movement, Remus’ hand brushed Sirius’ temple, running his hand through the other’s hair until it settled around the nape of Sirius’ neck, urging him closer.
Without a trace of hesitation, Remus leaned in to press a kiss to Sirius’ lips, not realizing how starved he had been for that kind of intimacy until he finally allowed to indulge in Sirius.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 3:43 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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While he had been waiting for Remus to wake up, Sirius’ head had been racing with the many possible outcomes of the evening before and what that could possibly mean for their friendship going forward.
All rational thought was immediately dispelled when Remus woke up and immediately turned him on his back and kissed him.
With a great sense of urgency, Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders, careful not to hold on too tightly, yet making his desires very clear, as he eagerly returned the kiss.
Sirius knew that he was far too easy, as he completely melted into Remus’ touch, possessed by the thought of needing so much more and yet also being completely overwhelmed. Part of him was certain that he was still asleep and that this was a dream, but he figured that if that was indeed the case, then he would simply allow himself to sleep a little while longer.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:39 pm 

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Moments ago, Remus had been unable to ground himself in his own body; now, with Sirius' arms wrapped around him, it felt like every fiber og his being was burning up. The sheer willingness and desperation of Sirius' responses was making Remus' head spin completely clouding any cohesive thoughts. With no sense of reality, Remus let out an unfiltered, sighed moan against Sirius' lips.
Wanting nothing more than to respond to every single one of Sirius' small signals and pleads, Remus' hand quickly left Sirius' hair. Barely moving away, it instead buried itself in the sheets beside Sirius' neck, using it to steady himself as he leaned further over Sirius and into the embrace.
Remus wasn't present enough to judge whether they were rushing into it; if the sensible thing had been to start gentler. The kiss was heavy and harsh with years of pent up anticipation, and Remus felt unable to see any logic through that. All he was truly aware of, was the knowledge that his fingers had lost contact with Sirius.
Remus' left hand moved, blindly reaching out for Sirius' side. Needing to ground himself in the feeling of Sirius beneath him, Remus' hand palmed against Sirius' waist before eventually wedging itself between the small of Sirius' back and the mattress. The movements had effectively pushed Sirius' shirt up, and, when Remus was finally able to wrap an arm around Sirius' waist, all Remus felt was an endless amount of bare skin.
With another little sound, Remus tightened his grip, selfishly urging Sirius closer, arching the other's back.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:14 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Hearing Remus moan was enough to send Sirius’ head spinning and he was really happy to be lying in a bed, because he knew that if he had been standing up his legs would have collapsed under him. It caused his grip to tighten around Remus, as he moved his hand to Remus’ hair in an attempt to get something to keep him grounded.
He willingly arched his back for Remus, fully knowing that he would be willing to do anything for Remus right in that moment.
In an attempt to get Remus even closer to him, he wrapped a leg around Remus’, not sure how much closer they actually get, but all he knew was that he wanted more.
He had been yearning for Remus for so long that finally being with him seemed like a dream. It seemed ridiculous that they both had been denying each other and themselves this for so long, but somehow the wait only made it all the better.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 20, 2019 5:37 pm 

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When Sirius moved, Remus found himself following before he could ever think twice about it and, when Sirius created space, Remus almost desperately filled it. Willingly and without hesitation, Remus welcomed the feeling of Sirius' leg curling around his bare calf. It sent a shiver down Remus' back, making the hairs on his neck stand, and causing another breathy sound to catch in his throat.
Indulging in the touch, Remus shifted his posture in order to properly position himself above Sirius. Slotting his knee in the newly vacant space between Sirius' legs, Remus pushed himself properly on his knees, effectively straddling Sirius' one thigh.
The shift in his center of gravity had caused Remus' grip around Sirius' waist to loosen, his forearm now steadily supporting his weight. No longer needing that point of support, Remus' hand left the mattress in favour of Sirius' chest. Evidently undecided, Remus flexed his fingers, first tightening around the fabric of Sirius' shirt, before yet again relaxing and instead wrapping them selves around the crook of Sirius' neck.
Less strained in this position, Remus desperately reciprocated the kiss, pushing into it, better able to follow the tug of Sirius' hands in his hair.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:30 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius kept his grip tight in Remus’ hair, his back arched still in a desperate attempt to be as close as possible to Remus. He desperately wanted more and wanted Remus even closer, but he had no idea how to voice that wish when they were lying like this.
His one hand left Remus’ hair to instead venture down his back, trailing his fingers along Remus’ spine as he desperately pushes himself further into the kiss. He wanted so much and he knew that the time they had together was limited so he had to just stay content with what he got.
It still felt like a dream to Sirius, especially as he felt Remus’ eagerness, even near desperation, for him. It felt completely unbelievable that this was actually something the both of them had wanted and Sirius could only curse himself out for not having instigated this before.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 29, 2019 5:49 am 

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The feeling of Sirius' hand down his spine made Remus flinch, inadvertently pushing himself further into the kiss in an attempt to distance himself from the touch. Though the close proximity was intoxicating, his skin felt uncomfortably thin under Sirius' hands, serving as an anxious reminder of his poor state of being.
Desperately needing to deafen that discomfort, Remus' hand once again balled up around Sirius' shirt. This time around, his hand had wandered around Sirius' shoulder, catching the fabric that covered his shoulder blades. Blindly and with little effect, Remus tugged at the fabric, making it ride up another bit further up Sirius' back.
Having enough insight to realize Sirius' shirt wouldn't be budging as long as they didn't move, Remus finally broke the kiss with an audible gasp. His pupils were blown and his face flushed as he leaned slightly backwards, remaining close while still putting his weight on his knees and shins.
His hands freed, they both moved to Sirius' bare sides, his hands pushing the shirt up as they moved upwards.
"Your shirt," he choked out. His voice sounded unrecognizable to him, still raw from both the moon and the night. A cough got stuck in his throat, reverberating against Sirius' chest as as Remus leaned back in to press hot kisses to Sirius' newly exposed sternum. Once again pressing close to the other, his voice was barely more than a sigh as he continued. "Sirius, your shirt."


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 10:11 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius had been so convinced that Remus was going to stop them any second, both of them fully knowing that they had gone too far.
Thus, the request to have his shirt removed once again sent his head spinning, barely able to believe that that was the way they were actually heading. He had been longing to be together with Remus since he was 14 or so and finally getting his wish seemed too much like a dream for him to believe that there could be any amount of of truth to what was actually happening, even if he could feel it on his own body.
"Yeah," he muttered, his voice clearly marked by the fact that those were the first words he had uttered that day. Rather than think too much about that, Sirius instead got up a little, not enough to push Remus away, just enough to get a grip on the collar of his own shirt and pull it over his head; allowing it to land somewhere off of the bed.
"Are we gonna.." he trailed off, not sure if he actually wanted the answer to the question he was about to ask.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2019 3:36 pm 

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It was with some degree of disapproval that Remus' lips left Sirius' skin, leaning back far enough for the other to finish undressing himself.
"Shag?" The offered completion to Sirius' timid question sounded deafening loud in the quiet of the early morning. Remus' face was burning hot with embarrassment and intimidation, yet there was hardly any hesitation audible in his voice. He had no intention of robbing himself of this, no matter how our of his depth he was.
His eyes dipped at Sirius' fully exposed chest; the sight making Remus' mouth go dry and movements softee. "Yeah."
At that, his eyes returned to Sirius'. Sirius looked like he was already coming undone at the seams, and though Remus realised he must have looked the same, he doubted that it was a favourable look on him; it made Remus' lips part.
"Do you want to?" he asked, almost sounding surprised. He should probably register the fact that the question was close to pointless, with how willingly Sirius had allowed himself to be kissed and get undressed, yet Sirius' unfinished sentence made Remus hesitate.
After hours of not speaking, the exchange seemed to create an even bigger distance between them than the physical distance. Selfishly and suddenly desperately afraid of the possibility of Sirius' rejection, Remus leaned back into Sirius' embrace. "Please."


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 11:39 am 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Sirius hadn't expected to be this affected by Remus putting it into words.
It had been pretty obvious which way they were going, yet it suddenly felt so real to hear Remus say it out loud, only to be made worse by him almost pleading Sirius for it; as if he wasn't the one who was weak with want.
"Alright," he said, his voice way calmer than how he was feeling. His hands found purpose in Remus' hair, wanting to ground himself with something, and Remus' tight curls were as good a place as any to get that.
"Yeah," he stated, suddenly finding that the situation was more intimate. They knew exactly what they were doing this time around and it wasn't just something thought up in a moment of passion. "I want that."
He placed a kiss to Remus' jaw, finding himself unable to pull back once he had started kissing again and thus allowed himself to start trailing kisses down Remus' neck. "I want you."

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 1:39 pm 

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Though the entirety of Sirius' proximity was dizzyingly exciting, Remus had no doubt in his mind that it was Sirius' words that sent a shiver down his spine. Suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation of what they were getting themselves into, Remus had to take a moment to breathe. His inhale was shaky as he, powerlessly, tipped his head to one side to better accommodate Sirius' kisses down his neck. The exhale came out as a hum.
No matter how much Sirius' kisses made Remus' head spin, they were barely enough. Once again turning his head towards Sirius', Remus caught Sirius' lips in a brushed kiss. Just barely leaning out of the kiss, Remus shifted his stance, slotting another knee between Sirius' thighs. Remus face felt burning hot as he took a moment to look at Sirius. Though Remus' movements were clumsy with inexperience, there was no sign of hesitation as he reached for the other.
For a moment, it looked like he was going to speak; whatever was on his mind, however, remained unsaid as he crossed the final distance between them to meet Sirius in a starved kiss.

__________________________

Though it felt like they had managed to cram an entire lifetime into a few early morning hours, reality eventually had caught up to them. Remus' hair was still damp after their shower as he pulled a worn anorak on. His skin still felt tender, both after the moon and the morning. A flash of pain spiked up his being as the fabric across his freshly cleaned wounds, though he doubted that was why his head was spinning.
Sirius was standing with him in the narrow foyer, yet Remus barely dared looking at him. Remus didn't feel an ounce of regret; it was knowing facing Sirius meant facing the fact that he was leaving. Intuitively, Remus shoved his hands into the anorak pocket.
"Can -" he said, the sudden break of the silence seeming too harsh and abrupt. Remus only then realized how trivial the question was going to be.
Out of his pocket, Remus pulled out a keychain, momentarily looking at it as if he couldn't recognize it. Finally, Remus met Sirius' eyes. "Can I leave these with you?"


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2019 4:12 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The morning spent with Remus had felt entirely like a dream to Sirius, finally being able to indulge in something he had wanted to for so long and completely unable to actually believe that Remus wanted it as badly as he did. Too caught up in his own head to realise what was going on around him, Sirius jumped when Remus suddenly talked, fearing the absolute worst, and, when that didn't come, hoping the best.
Neither scenario turned out to come into fruition as Remus' request was mundane rather than risque and it was a bit of a letdown to be perfectly honest. Yet, he knew that there was no point in delaying his answer, seeing as Remus would absolutely have to leave and he would have to leave soon.
"Yeah, sure," he stated, reaching out for the keys while not looking properly at Remus. He refused to face the fact that they would have to be apart after he had finally gotten to be with him. "I'll water your plants while you're gone."

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