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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 3:33 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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As he heard the knock on the door, Draco almost jumped out of his own skin. There really was no going back for this conversation now, but Draco more than anything just wanted to enjoy their time together and forget everything about tours and managers and fame.
He took a deep breath before opening the door, happy to see Harry even if he knew that a difficult conversation was about to come.
“Hi there, handsome,” he said with a soft smile, stepping slightly away such that Harry would be able to enter.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 7:19 am 

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Another thing Harry would never grow tired of was the sight that met him each time Draco's front door swung open. Draco's smile made Harry's breath hitch, leaving him with a little smile brimming over with adoration.
"Hi, hon," he answered, the smile cracking over into a grin. Being called handsome was still foreign to Harry, unsure he was deserving of that praise, yet also not wanting to allow Draco to linger on his choice of word long enough to regret it.
Stepping into the apartment, Harry's right hand instinctively reached for Draco, brushing across his waist in a greeting before retrieving it to undo the buttons on his coat.
"How are you?" Harry asked with a smile as he pushed his coat off his shoulders. "What have you been up to?"


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PostPosted: Sun May 17, 2020 11:15 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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There was something so incredibly boyish in the way that Harry always greeted him that made Draco regret having to have that conversation. More than anything else in the world, Draco just wanted to stay in their bubble and not think about anything but what Harry made him feel.
“Nothing much, been trying to write some songs, but inspiration is letting me wait on it,” he said with a shrug, knowing that it probably wasn’t too relatable of a scenario.
“What about you? Rough day at school?” He asked with a warm smile, knowing that it was a coward move to drag out the conversation, but he didn’t want to upset Harry for any reason.

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PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2020 2:59 pm 

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Harry's eyes darted between Draco and the task of straightening his coat out. Thoughtlessly tugging the sleeves taut, he kept glancing up at Draco with interest. Draco always had such a trivial approach to his job, and, though Harry's lips parted to further ask about the process of song writing, Draco had already moved on.
"Uh," Harry buffered, having understood the question, yet finding himself to have prepared a different reply. Using that pause, he turned to finally hang his coat and free his hands. "I don't know, I guess."
His words, though silly, were truthful enough. There was a small furrow between his brows, a little mindless grimace, as he yet again turned towards Draco. "Hectic, maybe, but not rough, per say."
Harry had crossed the foyer as he spoke, finally seeming to let go of that last air of appearing pressed for time. A smile had replaced the frown, and, once again having Draco within reach, Harry's hands moved to frame Draco's face.
Partially tugging Draco closer, partially stretching to meet him halfway, Harry pressed a grinning kiss to Draco's lips. The kiss was brief but earnest, and only moments later, Harry's posture relaxed and his grip around Draco loosened.
"Hi," Harry smiled, a tease tugging at the corner of his mouth, removing his hands from Draco's person. "Properly."


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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2020 4:47 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Despite the fact that Draco knew that they had a very serious conversation about their relationship ahead of them, he couldn’t help but return the kiss, wanting to kiss him so much more, but also knowing that he had to keep his head in the game. There wasn’t long until his Australia tour and he really wanted to figure out what he and Harry were supposed to be before that.
“Hi, properly,” he said with a warm smile, heart aching by what was about to happen. He didn’t want to potentially ruin what he already had with Harry, but it was absolutely crucial to him that they figured this out.
“Let’s get in and sit down, there is something I want to talk about.”

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 8:03 am 

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At that, the smile on Harry's lips paled. Though Draco's words were harmless by themselves, the shift they had caused was undeniable. While neither Draco's voice nor words had been unkind, it still hit Harry like a ton of bricks, knocking the air completely out of him. For the moment it took for Harry's ears to stop ringing, he couldn't help but feel like a fool.
An embarrassed blush quickly flushed his cheek. He felt like an idiot for having believed that this conversation was avoidable, but, even more so, for not having seen it coming. For the first time, Harry wished he hadn't kissed Draco, flushed by the thought of rejection when Harry so readily and genuinely wanted Draco.
"Yeah, sure," he said, the effort of sounding unaffected bleeding into his voice. He smiled, he trying to remind himself that Draco had yet to say anything damning; he, however, still found it hard to meet Draco's eye.
Grateful for the fact that Draco's words also contained an instruction, Harry readily abandoned the entryway, instead moving into the living room. He felt nauseous, not looking at Draco when he continued. "What's up?"


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2020 4:21 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Immediately Draco regretted his choice of words. He could tell from everything on Harry, from his facial expression right down to how he kept himself, that he had dreaded this question, yet he still didn’t fight it which at least was somewhat of a relief. As they moved towards the living room however, it became so painfully clear to Draco that Harry was refusing to look at him and it made him fear what they had in store.
Draco desperately wanted them to work out together, but maybe Harry didn’t want the same as him. The thought alone was enough to make him nauseous, having enjoyed his time together with Harry so terribly much and not at all ready to see it end, even if he knew that that was a very real risk of this conversation.
“Well, you know I am going on my Australia tour soon,” Draco started as he sat down on his couch, gently patting the seat next to him to signal for Harry to sit down with him. It wasn’t a life or death situation after all, but Draco just really wanted to have this settled before he had to leave.
“And I am going to be gone for a considerable amount of time,” he added in a soft voice, looking at Harry in an attempt to read him, even if he really had no idea what he was thinking. “I guess I just really want to know what this-“ he motioned between himself and Harry “-is.”

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PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2020 12:23 pm 

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It was only when Harry heard the softness in Draco's voice that he turned to look at him. To Harry, Draco looked flustered, at least somewhat. Though that should probably serve as some reassuring, Harry knew it didn't have to mean anything; there were a million possible outcomes that would make this an uncomfortable conversation for Draco to have, too.
Some of the immediate tension did, however, seem to have dissolve at that, and he joined Draco on the couch without any real reluctance. While he sat further apart from Draco than he normally would have, this felt justified as he turned to better face Draco, tucking his leg beneath him.
"What do you mean?" he asked after a pause, knowing it was a cowardly move, yet desperately needing a sense of direction. Though relieved that Draco seemingly intended for this to be a dialogue rather than a monologue, Harry had a hard time foreseeing the where Draco hoped they would end up. Not wanting to be the one to over-commit if Draco's intention was to cut Harry off before leaving on tour, he deflected. "Currently?" he asked, watching Draco attentively, though it was clear than it was more a matter of trying to read Draco's micro expressions. Harry was still, visibly, trying to decipher if he was being broken up with. "Or during your tour?"


Last edited by Nymeria on Thu Jun 04, 2020 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2020 2:03 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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“That’s the thing,” Draco started, finding the conversation almost physically painful to get through, but he knew that he was going to have to do it if he was going to even dream of having any piece of mind during his entire tour.
“I was hoping that what we are currently and what we are while I am an tour would be the same thing,” he admitted, unsure where he was going with this. He knew that he had really enjoyed his time together with Harry, but he also knew that his life was so hectic and difficult that he wouldn’t really be able to blame Harry if this was just going to be a fling and nothing more.
“I guess I want to be able to call you my boyfriend while I am away,” he further added, figuring that that was really what it was about.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2020 5:09 pm 

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For a moment, Harry felt like he was about to burst with joy. It must have been the drastic difference between what Harry had expected and what Draco had actually wanted to say, but the mix of giddy excitement and relief washed over him far before he could even begin to process what Draco was actually asking him. For a heartbeat, Harry was overcome with how fundamentally enticing that word was to him.
Then, everything Draco hadn't said hit Harry like a ton of bricks, that immediate glimmer in his eyes giving way for a look of genuine uncertainty.
The implication that Draco didn't want anything to change except was they called each other was absolutely dizzying, making it hard to distinguish fully when they had turned that corner and actually started acting as a full fledged couple. Up until that moment, Harry wouldn't have thought that distinction mattered, but then and there, he found there to be a tremendous difference between dating Draco and being in a relationship with him.
"Oh," Harry exhaled, nothing much to his voice other than surprise. He barely registered speaking, only doing so to fill the dead silence between them.
While Harry knew he himself had agreed to temporary long distance, everything seemed far more daunting with months of tour looming above of them. Especially Draco's phrasing seemed to stick with Harry, dizzy at the prospect of Draco referring to Harry as anything, to anyone.
"We can continue like this, yeah," he said, tentatively. Harry's intentions were genuine; he whole-heartedly wanted to continue seeing Draco like this, even if that meant ignoring the fact that they would have to be apart. The phrasing, however, was intentional, carefully wanting to uncover how important a label actually was to Draco.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2020 2:40 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The response, or maybe more the lack thereof, hit Draco like a ton of bricks and he felt absolutely sick to his stomach. He had known from the beginning that being in a relationship with Harry was going to be difficult, probably more for Harry than it was for him, but he had still assumed that they were more on the same page than they apparently were. It was incredibly frustrating, because Draco didn’t know if what he was asking was too much or if Harry just didn’t want it with him.
“But?” Draco prompted, feeling that Harry probably had more to say. Or maybe it was just because Draco hoped that Harry would have more to say, even if it didn’t seem like that was going to be the case.
“Look, I am not trying to pressure you into anything, but I want to know what I can expect from you while I am on tour and I don’t think that that is unreasonable.”

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2020 3:41 pm 

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Harry could tell it hadn't been the reply Draco had hoped to hear; Harry couldn't blame him, it wasn't even the reply he had wanted to give.
It made Harry's heart break, truly believing there was no way out of this conversation that didn't end with them on bad terms - if any terms at all. Draco
"There's no 'but'," Harry countered, finding that to be the easiest to address. Though he understood why Draco had heard a stipulation where there hadn't been one, Harry desperately needed for Draco to know that that hadn't been the case. "I'd love for us to continue like this."
While truthful, Harry also knew that statement barely covered the surface. Harry knew it meant keeping this, each other, a secret, not only from the public but from close friends. It meant building their entire relationship in the confinement of Draco's apartment, and maybe that was precisely why Harry felt himself shy away from the concept of being in a relationship, at all. "I think this works."


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 4:14 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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Draco was becoming increasingly frustrated with where the conversation was going. He wasn’t sure what they had was actually working for him, or if it would in the long term, mostly because he simply had no idea what it actually was that they had.
He liked Harry so terribly much, and he knew that his life wasn’t easy to handle. He wanted to have one thing that he understood and one thing where he didn’t have to question himself constantly, but apparently that wasn’t going to be what he had with Harry.
“Maybe I don’t,” he stated, his tone unintentionally harsh, as he ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe I just need some more closure on this.”

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2020 6:27 pm 

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The sudden tension in Draco's voice felt like a punch in the gut; Harry felt absolutely awful for having brought that out of Draco. Though Harry couldn't blame him, it had still caught Harry unprepared and so, he visibly stalled.
Instinctively, Harry wanted to admit that he wasn't sure he could offer Draco any more than this. Harry was a single parent working a full time job, and no matter how thrilling it was to Harry that Draco wanted more out of this, Harry knew he had no more hours to give; much less to publicly date him. Yet Harry couldn't get himself to voice any of this.
At some point, his lips had parted, though coming up short of any other reply. Fearing this to be a proper, all or nothing situation, Harry didn't want to be the one to pull back.
"I'm sorry," he said, not knowing what else to say. Though the words felt dumb, he was sorry that Draco didn't like what they had been up until now. Harry felt awful knowing that. "What would you have wanted to be different?"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:15 pm 

This body is a vessel for my mayhem and as long as I can perform bafoonery it doesn’t matter if this stomach is flat or not

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The conversation was deeply frustrating to Draco.
He knew that he was probably being somewhat of a brat, demanding that Harry give him answers before a timeline he had set himself, but he really, deeply, did need answers to this. He couldn’t bear the idea of going on tour in Australia, being away from Harry for so long, and not knowing what they even were to one another.
“I just need to know that this is sustainable, that I can call you during tour and we will still be together,” he stated, unsure how else to properly put this into words. He just yearned so terribly to have Harry as a permanent part of his life, even if they were still keeping out of the public eye.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:48 pm 

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The more emotion seeped into Draco's voice and words, the harder a conversation it seemed to become. It made Harry shift in his seat, uncomfortable, but not knowing whether or not he should move closer or further away from Draco.
"Of course you can," Harry replied, though, as he said it, he realized it might not have been as apparent to Draco as it was to Harry. Harry was well aware of the fact that he had specifically asked Draco not to keep in touch while away on the first half of his tour. It made Harry's stomach knot up, suddenly struck by a feeling of remorse he hadn't been aware of until that specific moment.
In the end, he leaned forward, forearms resting against his knees.
Sitting across from Draco, Harry could only imagine the baggage Draco brought with him into the conversation; whether it be previous, similar conversations or unresolved hurt from the last time he had left Harry.
Uncertain what to say or do, Harry's lips parted, but the words didn't come. It was Draco's phrasing, them being together, that posed the greatest mental hurdle to Harry, finding that he didn't know what that entailed.
It took Harry another few moments for Harry to gather a sentence. Almost timidly, he attempted a rephrased point he had already made. "Can't we just act like you're not gone at all?"


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