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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 2:16 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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The tension hung heavily in the air between them from the second Draco opened the door, but he knew that he had to take the bull by its horns and have this talk with Harry. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but he hoped that he hadn’t ruined everything between the two of them. He had really cherished their friendship and he would hate himself if he had managed to ruin this by being an idiot.
“Well, come on in,” he said with a soft smile as he stepped away from the door and allowed Harry to enter his flat. He was going to have to try to keep this as light as possible, even if it was all very confusing.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 11:33 am 

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"Thank you," Harry was quick to answer, eternally grateful for the fact that Draco seemed to know in which direction the conversation was going to unfold; Harry himself felt like he was just barely present.
As Draco moved aside, Harry followed him into the apartment, sending him a careful smile as he passed. It had been a while since he had felt so uncertain in Draco's company, and as he stepped into the entryway and his hand found the lapels of his jacket, he figured he should at least make an attempt to not fall back into a habit of acting weird around Draco. "How are you? Did you enjoy your party?"
Harry had been glancing around the room, tugging his jacket off of his shoulders to reveal the bordeaux button up underneath, before his gaze finally made it back to Draco. The sight made his features brighten into a soft, but genuine smile.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2018 3:23 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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The conversation was already extremely stilted and awkward, but Draco knew that it wasn’t going to change by itself. Even if the move wasn’t at all suggestive, Draco’s eyes still fell on Harry as he removed his jacket, unable to stop himself from appreciating his form.
“It was alright,” he said in a soft voice, not really wanting to talk about that party, even if it had to come up. It was the root to their issues right now after all, but he didn’t want to go directly for it. He felt like they had to warm up slightly before jumping right into it. “How about you? How have you been?”

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 3:46 pm 

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Harry's eyes had once again wandered around the room, but Draco's answer once again caught his attention. For a brief moment, Harry didn't know which way to interpret Draco's alright; the way he briefly clenched his teeth was proof that he momentarily felt at fault for having ruined Draco's night.
"I've been good," he eventually exhaled, not fully aware of the tension that, moments before, had manifested into his jaw. Instead, the corners of his mouth once again turned upwards in a small smile. Thoughtlessly, he folded his jacket over his arm. "Nothing new, really. I've been working."


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:56 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Draco hummed and nodded at that, not having much more to add, but also wanting to delay the inevitable. They were here to talk things through after all, so there was no point in trying to dance around it or fully avoid it.
“Glad to hear,” he said, finding it a little lame, but he was mostly just trying to gather enough courage to start the conversation they were actually supposed to be having. “Look, Harry, about that party...”

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:53 pm 

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Harry could already hear the change of subject in the lackluster reaction to his own answer so, by the time Draco actually brought the matter at hand up, Harry had already considered whether taking off is jacket might have been a mistake - a rejection could be said with very few words.
"I know," Harry exhaled, barely registering that he had cut Draco off but needing to get it off his chest before Draco cut off contact completely. Harry's eyes had been fixated on Draco's during the interjection, but now searched the front hall for somewhere to drop off his jacket, if only temporarily.
"I shouldn't have left the way I did, it just -" Harry managed to cut off his own trail of thought as he placed his coat over a decorative chair, eyes once again darting back to Draco. "I think I said and did things too roughly, and I'm sorry about that; I'm sorry about how I acted but I standby what I said -"
Harry's eyes searched Draco's expression, not wanting to continue if Draco had gotten himself so hammered after Harry left that he wouldn't know what Harry was talking about; feeling like putting things into words was impossibly bold. Eventually, Harry inhaled and continued. "- I can't be around you like that - I can't kiss you, no matter how much I'd like to - without getting overly attached or reading into things, and I'm completely understand if that - that ruins things between us."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 5:59 am 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Draco hadn’t expected to start a rant like that with his words, but he knew that he probably shouldn’t have expected differently. It was a rather difficult situation they had gotten themselves into, even if Draco couldn’t quite place why.
That though, quickly became apparent the further Harry got into his rant. Draco could hardly believe it, but Harry honestly thought that Draco wasn’t really interested in him and only saw him as a fling?
Maybe it made perfect sense to view them like that, but it had never been like that for Draco. He wanted a proper relationship with Harry, whether they just be friends or more.
He was so taken aback by the situation that he found himself asking “so you wanted to kiss me?” before he had the time to stop himself.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 3:24 pm 

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Among the million different things Draco could have answered to all of that, the other went with the one thing that absolutely managed to dumbfound Harry, making him visible swallow the response he had prepared for an entirely different direction.
For a moment, Harry looked so surprised that he almost looked humoured; that look was, however, brief.
"Doesn't matter what I want," he instead cut off, not willing to even attempt to decipher what Draco meant by that. Harry's voice was no longer uncertain, but had instead grown almost practical. "I can't kiss you, Draco. It's insane that I even have to say that, you must know that."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 3:43 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Draco most definitely did not know that. He thought that their entire situation could be rather simply, but it was clear that Harry did not agree on that. It didn’t help that Draco didn’t quite see what made their situation that complicated, other than his fame. Sure, it made things trickier, but he didn’t think that it had to be like hard.
“Why not though? I care about what you want, why don’t you?”

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:00 pm 

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Harry hadn't even considered that Draco might have an interest in Harry's own opinion, and the realisation showed in his eyes.
"I'm trying to tell you," he countered, but there was no real frustration in his voice.
He fully well knew he had said a lot of things and was now in the middle of drawing them back and away from Draco's consciousness, but they were talking about a situation that was so hypothetical Harry didn't even know how to begin on having his conversation. Everything Harry was spouting out was solely based on the fact that Draco had run his hand through his hair, and that felt like a weak excuse to bare your feelings.
Harry's voice was soft but matter-of-factly when he finally came to terms with the directness of his answer. "I can't kiss you because I don't want to fall in love with you, and I can't do one without the other."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:10 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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The entire situation was exasperating to Draco, at least once he realised that he and Harry were talking past one another. Harry had gotten Draco’s intentions wholly wrong and Draco didn’t know how to fix that in a way that Harry would believe. He really wanted Harry to understand that this wasn’t a game and that he was willing to take his time to build this up, but he would also fully get if Harry wouldn’t believe that.
Feeling at loss with what to do, Draco found himself reaching out to cup Harry’s face, supporting his head as he pulled him in close to kiss him.

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it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:27 pm 

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Harry should have reacted the minute Draco's hands were on his face, or at least the moment he witnessed the other lean closer, but the turn of event caught Harry so ill prepared he didn't have a chance to remind himself of what he was trying to achieve with the conversation.
Over the course of their friendship, Harry had imagined kissing Draco too often not to immediately relax under Draco's touch the moment his lips were on Harrys. It took everything Harry had in him not to return the kiss, forcing himself to break the kiss after only a handful of seconds, slightly turning his face away from Draco's.
Harry's hand was flat on Draco's chest, pushing at him enough on a distance that their lips fully parted.
"Draco you have to listen," Harry insisted in an exhale, once again meeting the other's eyes. "You have to say something, I can't - you can't have me say all of this and not say anything."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:35 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Rationally, Draco knew that what he had done was a bad idea. He knew that he had to explain to Harry what was going on in his head, even if he hardly knew it himself. He really did like Harry, but Harry seemed to doubt Draco’s feelings so much that Draco started to doubt them himself. He wanted to believe that he could be with Harry, but when Harry himself couldn’t even believe it, how could he make himself do so.
It seemed impossible to put his thoughts into a proper order, but he knew that he couldn’t just stay silent until he had done so. Harry expected answers and Draco knew that he deserved them. He would just have to bite the bullet and get it over with.
“Maybe I want you to fall in love with me,” he said in a soft voice, realising how horribly selfish that sounded, so he knew that he would have to elaborate. “Because I am falling for you as well.”

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 4:50 pm 

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For the second time in the course of the exchange there was a pure look of surprise in Harry's eyes, finding Draco's words terribly hard to process. The only coherent thought in Harry's mind was how he had shown up today expecting Draco to cuss him out for reading too much into their friendship; the fact that he had been reading too little into it felt almost impossible.
Harry's lips parted as his gaze moved between Draco's eyes, desperately attempt to read the thought process that had led Draco to that statement. Coming up blank, Harry truly realized that Draco held his heart in his hand and that, what he was about to do, would give the other the power to absolutely destroy him.
Finally allowing himself not too think at all, realising that he might have both over- and under analyzed everything, Harry's hand moved, moving from Draco's chest to instead curl around to his side, where he thoughtlessly caught a hold of Draco's shirt, using it to balance himself as he reached up to press a kiss on Draco's lips.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 5:15 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Draco didn’t actually expect his words to have any effect whatsoever on Harry, so the kiss and the soft touch that followed it came as a surprise to him. While he didn’t want to talk about what they were or what this was supposed to mean, Draco knew that they would have to get back to that eventually. It was simply too risky to just allow themselves to be caught up in all of this.
Then again, Harry was kissing him right now and Draco had really wanted to kiss Harry for quite some time, so he wasn’t about to deny himself that. Instead, he gingerly placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders, both as an attempt to balance himself and to pull Harry closer as he returned the kiss.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 5:44 pm 

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Harry knew his actions reeked of weakness and poor judgement, but he had so quickly become so tired of hearing himself talk. Harry had said so much in such a brief window in time that he needed a physical reasurement that everything he had said hadn't just been based on smoke and mirrors.
He was, however, too caught up by the sensations of the kiss to even have an ounce left to consider whether or not Draco was putting up an act. Harry could only focus on the feeling of Draco's lips against his, and the way he could feel the slight curve of Draco's waist when Harry tightened his grip around him.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2018 7:07 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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It was probably unwise to allow himself to kiss Harry before they had talked things through, but he also knew that he wasn’t good enough of a man to do that. Instead, he allowed himself to disappear into the kiss. The hand on his waist helped him feel grounded and so did his hands on Harry’s shoulders. It was still baffling to him that Harry had decided to kiss him, but he wasn’t about to question it.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:57 pm 

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Rationally, Harry knew they could only kiss for so long before he had to face the facts; no matter how much he enjoyed kissing Draco, he knew in the very pit of his stomach that he had been right in wanting to protect himself from this. Draco could say anything he wanted, but there was no convincing Harry that this was going to last in anyway.
Pulling himself to reality, Harry broke the kiss while simultaneously loosening his grip around Draco. Now that his lips weren't against Draco the proximity felt dizzying and too good to be true; he took half a step back.
He parted his lips to once again speak against whatever they were initiating, but he failed to find the words.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:59 pm 

it really is oingo or be boingo'd on this bitch of an earth.

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Even if Draco knew that it was the wise thing to do, he couldn’t deny that he missed Harry’s close proximity as soon as he pulled away. He knew that they had to talk things through and that they couldn’t just leave it be like that, yet when he saw that Harry was about to talk, he knew that he wanted absolutely none of it.
“Shut up,” he found himself uttering, even if Harry hadn’t said anything, yet Draco knew that he didn’t want to hear whatever Harry would have to tell him.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 4:11 pm 

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Though Harry had very intentionally forced down the comment forming in his throat, he couldn't help but be surprised by the fact that Draco noticed the action too. However, the almost startled look of surprise quickly made way to a toothy grin.
There were a million different things Harry wanted to respond to that - primarily he wanted to tell Draco, that they both knew Harry was right - but that too remained unsaid.
"Alright," Harry eventually settled on, and thought it was a promise of what was to come, it was said with an ounce of a tease in his voice and smile. "I will for now."


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