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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 4:16 pm 

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When Draco didn't object to Harry's hands on his skin, Harry's hands continued to softly trail Draco's midriff, before finally and clumsily catching the bottom hem of Draco's shirt with his hands.
The way Draco was sitting left little to no room between their chests, leaving his hands dangerously close to the waistband of Draco's trousers, as Harry tentatively and blindly fidgeted with the bottom button of the shirt.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 4:27 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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The feeling of Harry's hands getting more purposeful made him frown softly, before leaning away slightly, at least as far as he could, effectively breaking their kiss as he did. He placed his hands on Harry's wrists, softly lowering them away from his shirt and his skin. His head was stilling spinning, but he had to keep a level-head on this. He couldn't just spring this on Harry like that and he really didn't feel ready to share just yet.
"I'm sorry," he muttered breathlessly, hating that he had to break it up like this, but he couldn't show that to Harry. "But please don't."

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 4:36 pm 

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The moment Harry felt Draco's hands on his wrists he knew he had overstepped, and the frown that was carved out between his brows stemmed from that rather than Draco's reaction to his touch.
"I'm sorry," Harry exhaled hoarsely, clearing his throat slightly as he opened his eyes looking down on their hands. Harry withdrew his hands, in a momentment that might have been too rough to accompany the softness of his voice, to adjust the way his glasses where sitting on the bridge of his nose.
"Is - is this just not something we're doing?" Harry had to ask, his voice growing slightly more frustrated as he finally met Draco's eyes. "It's fine if we're not, but, Draco, please tell me if that's the case -"


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 4:46 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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The frustration in Harry's voice hit him like a boulder, even if he knew that he probably didn't mean it like that. He knew how patient Harry had been with him and also how little he himself had been willing to disclose about the situation. It didn't help that he wanted Harry so badly, but he just didn't feel like it was an appropriate thing to share just yet. After all, he knew that it wasn't going to be pretty.
"No, it's not that-" he rushed, but he didn't quite knew how to finish the sentence. It felt strange to still be straddling Harry while having this conversation, but he didn't exactly feel like he could move away either though, so he just stayed. "I want to. I really do," he said, biting his bottom lip and looking down at the small space between them, overwhelmed by their close proximity. "I just... I can't. Okay?"

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 4:57 pm 

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"It's fine if you don't," Harry dismissed Draco's vague attempt to explain things, leaning back against the backrest as he for the second time today rubbed his eyes. Reality had caught up with him in a matter of split seconds, and he now felt war more overwhelmed than he had been coming to Draco's flat.
"Just, please talk to me," Harry exhaled helplessly as he removed his hands from his face. In doing so, his hands naturally fell a bit above Draco's knees, but suddenly very conscious about the way he touched Draco, Harry retrieved his hands - a gesture that in retrospect seemed dumb and unnecessary, seeing as Draco was still sitting on his lap. "I want us to work, but you just have to open up to me about things."


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:19 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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Harry's word only helped to make Draco feel even worse about the situation and while he wanted to share with Harry, then he just wasn't sure if he was ready to actually see it. It was complicated after all and he knew that Harry had to be exhausted, but it also didn't seem like they could further push this conversation now. They were too far gone by now and Draco would just have to face the music.
"I do. I really do want this," Draco swore and he did. There was nothing he wanted more than to get to be more intimate with Harry, but he was terrified at the prospect of Harry reacting badly to it. He wanted to trust Harry but it was so hard, because he knew that it wasn't a pretty sight and it did tend to overwhelm whoever were unlucky enough to gaze upon it.
"I just-" he started, but he couldn't finish the sentence, because he didn't know how to explain it. It would feel too much like he was blaming Harry for how he looked, which he very much didn't. The two things just happened to be tied together. He took a deep breath, needing to gather all of his strength to actually go through with what he was about to do.
"Actually, it's a lot easier if I just show you," he said in a soft voice as he started unbuttoning his shirt. "But you have to promise not to freak out," he added in a hurried, almost panicked, voice. Once the last button was open he pushed his shirt aside, not daring to look at Harry's face to see his reaction.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:27 am 

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It took Harry a moment too long to fully realise what he was looking at. The close proximity to Draco prevented him to see all of Draco's chest at once, and once Harry identified a pale scar on Draco's skin, a new seemed to appear no matter where he looked.
A soft frown had formed on Harry's features over the past, silent moments, seeming more confused than appalled. His lips parted to question, but the moment he lifted his gaze to meet Draco's eyes, everything seemed to make sense to him.
Harry's expression changed within a split second, suddenly looking like somebody had knocked the air out of him. The absolute look of devastation softened his features, and for a moment he seemed at a loss.
"Draco," Harry exhaled breathlessly, desperately wanting to reach out to touch Draco, but once again he wasn't sure if he was allowed to. "I'm sorry, I should have known-"
Harry of all people should have made the connection. The sectumsempra curse was by far Harry's most vivid memory of the war, but in that moment, it felt like if had been the subject of his night terrors so often that if had been detached from reality. Though he knew he would never be able to forget that memory, Harry had seemingly failed to remember that it happened to Draco.
It felt like his hands were shaking when he carefully and tentatively placed his hands back onto Draco's thighs. "Draco, I -" he started with an equally shaky voice, but found that he couldn't think of anything fitting to say.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:36 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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The silence was overwhelming and for a long, scary moment, Draco was convinced that Harry was going to push him away. He couldn't look at Harry's face as he discovered the state of Draco's chest, but the wait almost felt like torture. It was impossible to tell how Harry was going to react to what he was seeing. It was very ugly and he knew that it was a lot to take in, but he hoped that Harry's reaction wouldn't be too bad.
However, once Harry finally spoke, Draco almost wished that he had had a bad reaction. The softness in Harry's voice was almost too much for him to bear and it took everything in him to not burst into tears then and there. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Harry feel guilty about what he had done; it had happened so many years ago and that had not been what he had tried to do when he showed Harry the scars.
"Don't," he breathed, biting down hard on his bottom lip and really starting to wish that he wasn't about to have this conversation while straddling Harry, but he couldn't very well change that now. He would just have to go through with it like this. "I don't want you to feel bad," he added, not spoken a whole lot louder this time, "which is why I didn't want to show you in the first place."

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:32 pm 

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It was absolutely heartbreaking seeing Draco like this, and the fact that he was avoiding his eye was almost painful. Harry had never considered that a day would come where he'd be faced with such direct consequences of his actions, naive as that might have been, and he found himself being overwhelmed into silence.
"You're not making me feel bad, I'm making myself feel bad," Harry muttered, wanting to argue against his innocence. After all, he had done this; he had actively used a spell against Draco that was intended to be used for an enemy. The thought of that alone made Harry's stomach turn.
Without much thought, Harry moved his hands upwards on Draco's thighs. The touch was careful but as far as suggestive as possible, and soon Harry's forearms were resting against Draco's thighs, as Harry moved closer to him. His arms were draped around Draco's hips in a gentle, awkward embrace, as Harry yet again tried to catch Draco's eyes. "Draco, I am so sorry."


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:41 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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Hearing Harry apologise was almost too much for Draco to handle, mostly seeing as it hadn't been what he had hoped to get out of showing Harry the scars. It was overwhelming and Draco didn't know how to make sense of all the emotions flowing through him. He felt vulnerable and extremely exposed, both physically and mentally. It wasn't how he had expected this conversation to go down, but he figured that it couldn't be much different, at least not now.
There was a million things Draco wanted to say, but none of them felt proper or real. It felt completely unreal, as if it was only something he was imagining; yet he knew that it was very reaæ indeed. He looked up, finally facing Harry even if it was terribly hard for him. Harry's expression was just as soft as his voice had been and he was holding onto Draco as if he was something precious to be treasured. It was a lot to take in.
"I don't want you to feel guilty about this. We were kids and didn't think our actions had any consequences," he tried, but he knew that it was a weak retort. He didn't want Harry to bad about what he had just shown him, but he knew that that probably was impossible. He wanted to cover himself up again, but he could barely move. "It's been so long."

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:27 pm 

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Harry shook his head at that, not agreeing with Draco attempt to dismiss Harry's actions. Harry had done something awful, and that Draco was willing to move past it didn't mean that Harry deserved to be forgiven. He wanted to say this out loud, but his words got stuck in his throat and Harry remained silent. The mere fact that Draco was still sitting here - that he had even agreed to get coffee in the first place - felt absolutely overwhelming and unreasonable.
"I never apologised -" Harry started, his voice slightly rushed as if mattered whether he said it now or in an hour. "Draco, I've never regretted anything more in my entire life."
Harry spoke genuinely and without hesitation. There were a lot of things he regretted about the war, but using Sectumsempra on Draco was the single worst decision Harry had ever made. "I'm so sorry."


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:13 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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Tears were pressing in Draco's eyes, but he refused to cry. It was a stupid thing to start crying about after all, but he was overwhelmed with how tender and understanding Harry was being with him. He didn't feel like he deserved this kindness, yet Harry was offering it to him so willingly. It was too much for him to take in and all it did was make the situation feel all the more surreal. To be perfectly honest, then Draco was expecting to wake up any second, realising that it all had been a dream.
"You don't have to," he said in a soft voice, still looking at Harry, but it quickly started feeling way too intense. It was a lot to take in, but he hoped that this would help further cement their relationship. After all, this wasn't exactly something he shared with just anyone.
"I-" he broke himself off, not sure what he was trying to say. He appreciated that Harry was apologising for the incident, but he had forgiven him a long time ago, even before they reconnected.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:39 pm 

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Though a million things went through Harry's mind, it felt like he had run out of tings to say, and it seemed like the same applied to Draco. The one thing Harry wanted to stress was his deepest, most sincere apology, and though he had already said that out loud, he feared Draco was mentally dismissing his words.
Feeling himself move onto thin ice, Harry shifted his position as well as he could under Draco's weight, softly letting go of Draco's hips. "Can I touch you?" Harry muttered, his words not spoken much higher than a soft whisper, as he yet again managed to look Draco in the eye.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:45 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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The question sent a soft shudder through Draco and for a moment he was too scared to answer. The request meant a whole lot to him, but he didn't know how to properly express that, other than with a soft nod.
"You can touch me," he managed to mutter, not even certain whether or not Harry could hear him, but he hoped that he would take the nod as confirmation enough if he couldn't. The prospect of getting touched by Harry again, even if he had been touched by him numerous times before, suddenly felt overwhelming and scary. He didn't know what to expect.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:53 pm 

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Once Draco gave his consent to the touch, Harry's hands softly found their way back onto Draco's skin. His fingers gently landed on Draco's sides, as Harry's palms were placed upon one of the scars going across Draco's midriff. Now that Harry got to touch the scars he could feel how they were raised upon Draco's skin, and the realisation of how deep the cuts had been made a chill run down Harry's back.
Though Harry's eyes were fixated on the scar patterns upon Draco's skin, Harry's eyes flickered upwards every now and then. As he moved his hands down the length of a scar, Harry's eyes remained on Draco's face. Eventually, the horizontal scar came to an end, but Harry's hands kept moving, effectively wrapping his arms around Draco's waist in a tender embrace, softly pulling him closer towards him.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:46 pm 

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If Draco had thought that Harry's words were overwhelming, it was only because he had yet to feel his touch. His hands, burning hot and rough, were so careful as they ran over Draco's scars and it made him shiver. It was the first time he had allowed anyone to touch his scars like this and he was happy that it was. He would not have been able to handle anyone else being this close to something he despised that much about himself.
Once Harry's arms were tenderly wrapped around him, he couldn't keep himself together anymore. He barely noticed it happening, at least not before he suddenly felt his face going wet from the tears softly falling from his eyes.
He wrapped his arms around Harry as well, but a lot more loosely. It was more of a confirmation to the embrace than an actual embrace itself, but he felt that it was going to be enough. They were going to be enough.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:44 am 

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Seeing Draco tear up absolutely broke Harry's heart, and, for a moment, he feared he might cry too. The conversation had taken a turn in a matter of moments, and whatever frustration Harry had felt only minutes before had completely disappeared.
"Oh, Draco," Harry whispered softly, instinctively tightening his grip around Draco. Harry's hands moved upwards onto Draco's bare back. Once his forearms rested against the other, Harry gently forced Draco back onto his knees in order to hold him in a embrace as close as possible.
Harry's forehead rested at Draco's collar, needing a moment to collect himself. He found himself in a state of sensory overload, though he would have swore that he hadn't been paying attention to anything but Draco. It felt like his heart was hammering in his chest, and in an attempt to calm himself, Harry spent a moment distinguishing Draco's pulse from his own.
"Draco, I love you so much." These were words Harry had been dancing around for the last couple of weeks, doing his best not to spring them on Draco too soon; but now, somewhere between awake and a sleep, devastated and elated, Harry didn't have any energy to spare to stop himself from saying it. His voice was barely a whisper, spoken too close to Draco's skin to be spoken clearly, but it was genuinely and sincere, and most importantly truthful.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:04 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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Those words surprised Draco, probably a lot more than they should. Sure, he was extremely fond of Harry and he knew that Harry was fond of him too, but love was such a powerful word and he was frozen while he was comprehending the words. It seemed too good to be true that Harry could love him after what he just showed him, but there he was, admitting his love to him. It was a lot to take in.
"I love you too," he said in a soft voice, as he finally managed to wrap his arms tighter around Harry in a tender hug. While it felt too early to be saying these things to one another, but Draco meant it nonetheless. Harry had been a breath of fresh air in his life and Draco didn't know how he would be able to go on without him; he simply had to hope that it wouldn't become necessary anytime soon.
"But don't just say this because I am feeling bad," he quickly added, suddenly fearing that Harry only felt the need to tell him this because he had just showed him something deeply personal about himself. He wouldn't have been able to handle that. "I don't want that."

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:19 pm 

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Harry hummed at that, but the sound was muffled to such a degree that it was hard to distinguish its intention; it might as easily have been a laugh as it could have been a scoff.
"I mean it," Harry answered softly, turning his head towards Draco's neck as he spoke, finding that the words came easier when he had Draco in his arms. Even the possibility of anybody lying when saying that felt foreign to Harry, and the fact that Draco had straight away jumped to that conclusion made Harry's heart ache.
In an attempt to back up the genuinity of his words, Harry gently loosened his grip around Draco in order to straighten his own posture. He wanted to repeat these words properly facing the other. With a soft touch, Harry brushed away the hair from Draco's face.
"I love you now but I also loved you before." Harry's voice was gentle and slow, desperately wanting these words to stick. "And I'll also love you tomorrow."


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:32 pm 

stay afraid but do it anyway. - carrie fisher

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The heartfelt admission of love didn't stop the tears from falling down Draco's cheeks, even if he felt that it was stupid to be weeping about this. It had all turned out in the most fortunate way possible after all, but it still felt a whole lot more than Draco deserved to get from Harry.
Tears were still streaming and Draco took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from sobbing. He tightened his grip on Harry, fearing that if he let him go he would simply disappear from him, even if he knew that it was deeply irrational.
He bit down on his bottom lip, trying to make sense of the situation.
"Thank you."

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