It was the last day or summer break and Jocelyn sat on the couch, her knees pulled up in front of her, a book resting on them. She was already packed and ready to go so she could relax for the rest of the night, or so she thought. Something her mother had said the previous night had stuck in her head, causing a chain-reaction of thoughts. They had been looking at pictures, including baby pictures, and she had noticed the lack of any baby pictures to speak of in the days immediately following her birth. Her mother mentioned when she "brought her home" but had never mentioned the birth. When Joce had jokingly asked if she was as stubborn coming out as she was now, her mother sort of half-answered the question with a vague reply, managing to not actually answer the true question even in providing some form of a reply.

There was also the fact that she had been born not long after her parents were married, which wasn't terribly odd in and of itself, but upon inspecting the wedding photos, and not the head-shots her mother displayed that conveniently cut off her lower half, which had presumably been to hide her baby bump, but what Joce found was actually a lack thereof, which was odd, considering her mother would have been at least 5, if not 6 months along by that point. When she had brought it up her mother had kind of blown it off, hoping her daughter would drop it, but Joce was far too stubborn and curious for that.

As she sat on the couch she finally pulled her eyes from her eyes from her book when her mother entered with a photo album she'd never seen before, taking a seat on the couch near Jocelyn. Joce gave a curious look, closing her book and swinging her legs around so that her feet rested on the floor. "We should have told you this a long time ago, Joce." her mother hesitated before she opened the album and handed it to the girl. "We aren't your real parents. Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure who your father is. But your mother..." she hesitated as Jocelyn stared down at the pictures. "Is that... Lily Potter?" the girl's eyes widened slightly as she looked to her mother, who nodded. "She's... my mother?" she asked as she stared down at the pictures. "Yes." her mother responded. "I'm sorry we never told you. She gave you up because she was marrying James and he wasn't the father. She never said who it was, only that they didn't really get along and she feared he wouldn't accept you. What had happened wasn't planned, she didn't know what to do, but she wanted you to have a good home." she tried to explain.

Jocelyn swallowed hard as she stared down at the pages. "So I was a mistake? And an unwanted one at that." she mumbled the last part, fighting back the tears that threatened. "We wanted you, Joce." she took the girl's hand and squeezed it gently. "I should have told you, I just didn't know what to tell you, and I can't give you the answers you want. I just didn't want you to be hurt." she tried to explain. Jocelyn pulled away gently and shut the book, handing it back to her mother, not sure what to say. "I can't deal with this right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with it." she stood up and disappeared up to her room where she spent the rest of the night.

--

The next day Jocelyn had gathered her things and the trip to the train station was a quiet one for the first time in a while. Her mind was preoccupied and she didn't know what to say, she wasn't even sure she had truly had time to wrap her head around the whole situation. Beyond that, the looming question now was who was her father, why hadn't he taken her, or did he even know she existed? She shoved down the thoughts long enough to say good bye to her mother and give her a brief hug before she got on the train, found a compartment, and tried to relax somewhat on the journey to Hogwarts. But no matter how hard she tried to relax, she couldn't get the thoughts out of her mind.

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Severus's summer hadn't gone according to plan at all. Severus had spent most of the summer being furious with how things had turned out. He'd made the unbreakable vow with Narcissa Malfoy and Draco could never know. He was dancing around so many secrets and he was so very tired he wasn't even sure why he kept going. There was nothing left in it for him. The only thing that was really there for him was his vow to Lily Evans. She was his world and when she had died so had a part of him. There are worst things than death, he didn't fear death. Death would be a relief at this time. A part of him almost relish the end. Though he was far too strong and cunning to end it all himself. He owed so many loyalties to so many different people that it seemed almost impossible some days. Yet, here he was keeping on going on. Navigating the dangers without so much as a single care for his own skin. Truly death didn't' shake him, only the loss of the one person who held his heart truly mattered to him at this point. He owed Lucius a dept of loyalty almost as deep as Lily's debt of failure he held. It was Lucius who'd seen him through his first years at Hogwarts.

He regarded the small image he held in his hand. The single image was of a red hair girl in her early teens. Maybe eleven or twelve years old. Radiant and smiling she danced around the frame with childish glee. He regarded her with a single tear sliding down his cheek. He was alone at last in his home. Wormtail no doubt gone to tell Voldemort that he had made the vow with Narcissa. He didn't care. It was what the Dark Lord expected of him anyways. He sighed truly annoyed that he had the vermin in his home. Only the fact that that filth was protected by the Dark Lord kept him alive. And only then because Severus had to uphold his oaths to the Dark Lord to keep pretense of his allegiance.

He felt his hand tremble as it held the picture. Thinking of her was always the hardest thing to do and yet the easiest. His mind wandered to her so often. He threw the image down atop the pile of books and rose angrily to his feet. He left the room. Left the image, left the memories. Those were always harder to leave behind. He knew that if Wormtail picked it up he'd see only a picture of Severus's parents with him nothing more. It was such and easy spell he didn't even have to think about it.

---

Severus had been at school for a full week preparing his classroom. He would still have the same rooms in the dungeon as he had demanded them kept as his, but his classroom would be up on the upper floors. He paced down the length of the corridor having just finished his last preparations for the start of term. He made his way to the great hall for the feast. Silent and surely as always he slid into his seat at the head table with silent hatred for all those whom where not of Slytherin house.



Ed was pacing the platform he had had the same summer he always did, pretending he wasn't alive in his aunt's attic as he tried not to think of Isabella or remember what he was. So it was with relief that the time came for his aunt to take him to the platform and he quickly hurried to his seat on the train. He sat down and waited for Joce to join him so he could see his girlfriend again. The only person that made this life livable.

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Jocelyn made her way onto the train, parting ways with her brother who disappeared with some of his Gryffindor friends, and making her way back towards the seat she had taken for many years now. After navigating a train full of confused first years and still-timid second year students, she finally found her seat and with it, Ed. The first real smile of the day crept onto her face as she walked into the compartment, closing the door behind her, and sliding onto the seat next to him. "Hey there." She smiled easily, although perhaps not so brightly as was typical of the usually bright-eyed and cheerful Ravenclaw girl.

Despite the warm and happy thoughts that had filled her mind, the questions she wanted to ask him, the things she wanted to tell him and the joy that seeing him brought, the thoughts of the previous night still managed to creep in. "How are you, darling?" she asked in a sweet, gentle voice and she leaned her head on his shoulder and tried not to think about anything else.

Once they arrived at Hogwarts, and after taking care of her things, she made her way to the great hall, grudgingly parting ways with Ed and taking her seat at the Ravenclaw table. She smiled and greeted her friends, going through the whole "how was your summer" routine, leaving out the entirety of last night. When Professor Snape took his seat among the other teachers she was reminded that he had once be friends with Lily Potter, then Evans, before she became friends with James Potter and his friends and if she recalled correctly, he had once had feelings for her, or at least that was the rumor. The thought occurred to her but she pushed it away. That was impossible. She pushed the thought from her mind, or at least conscious thought, and tried to enjoy the night.

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Ed watched as Joce joined him and he knew instantly that something was wrong as she wasn't smiling like she usually was. That sullen expression was typical for him, but not for her. He regarded her and didn't know what had happened. He wanted to help her at all cost. He regarded her with sadness in his eyes as she asked him how he was not how his summer had been.

"My summer wasn't bad, pretty much same old same old. I'm doing alright, though I can tell you are not, Joce what happened?" He asked, even though by the way she was avoiding telling him right off the bat he was pretty sure they wouldn't be discussing it here. It wasn't as if that was anything unusual, she would tell him when she was ready, he was cool with that. Instead they passed most of the trip silently sharing mindless stories. He felt rather concerned by then, but reluctantly let her get away with it.

As she took her seat at the Ravenclaw table he took his at Gryffindor table and looked up at his least favorite teacher ever, Severus Snape.



The meal wasn't anything special. Dumbledore did his special as always. The food was amazing as always. There was plenty of chatter, plenty of action and soon the meal was over without any incident and the students off to bed. The start of term feast was always a big deal with the Sorting and the many speeches of which there was one made announcing Severus as Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher and Slughorn as the new Potions Teacher. Nothing unusual.



Severus arrived early for the first lesson of term and took out his books laying them down upon the table. He regarded the posters upon the wall and smiled slightly at their quite disgusting displays. It was evident he took a lot of pleasure from this as he stood watching the class file in.

--

Ed wasn't interested in going to DADA after having found out it would be taught by Severus and so he was amongst the last of the students to arrive, but he was not late.

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Joce knew Ed would notice something was off. It wasn't like she tried to hide it, it was pointless anyways. She didn't want to keep it from him, she simply had no clue how to tell him yet, she was still figuring it all out herself. She didn't ask how his summer was because she was pretty sure it was the same as always and she didn't want to make him talk about it. She smiled a little when he answered the unspoken question, glad he was doing okay. "I'm okay I just... My mum told me something last night and I'm still trying to sort through it all, I guess." she shrugged but gave a genuine smile. "I'll tell you about it later, I don't want to think about it now, I just want to think about something positive." she assured him that she would tell him, even though he had to know she would.

She knew he was concerned about her, but he let her get away with it so she didn't bring it up, instead she was content to just enjoy his company until they arrived and had to part ways for the feast. She forced the idle thoughts from her mind and tried to enjoy the feast, which was fun as always, but nothing crazy. The only thing different was that Professor Snape would now be taking over Defense Against the Dark Arts.

-

The next morning Jocelyn arrived to her DADA class early, moments after the professor had arrived. She quietly took her seat, getting out her things and placing them neatly in her space on the desk. She did her very best not to draw any attention to herself--although she was the only one in the room at present which made this task particularly difficult--or stare at Professor Snape. She glanced up whenever he made noise, and her eyes might have lingered a moment longer than perhaps they should have as thoughts tried to creep into her mind before she brushed them aside and tried to focus on anything but the tiniest possibility that he could be the one that Lily had been with that night.

She remained quiet as other students slowly filtered in, including Ed, who she knew didn't want to be around Snape any longer than he had to be. That would certainly make things awkward if Snape did turn out to be him. The thought then occurred to her that maybe it was better if she didn't know, but she knew she was far too curious for that. Even if she was better off not knowing, she had to know.

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Ed slid into the seat next to Joce, so that they were both on the edge of the separated groups. They may be of different houses, but they always sat together at the edges of the group, usually up front just like Joce liked it. Most of the time Ed didn't care whether or not he was up front, only that he was sitting next to Joce, but today he would have rather been at the back. Which wouldn't have mattered anyways since Snape tended to walk around. Ed did his best to ignore the man he hated and drew out his books setting them down with paper and ink. He knew better then to even think they would be using wands. It was not Severus's way.



Severus paced up and down the aisles between the seats as the students settled down his sharp gaze boring into every student. He would warn them to put away their wands as he always did. As soon as the door shut silence fell over the room and he let a small grin split his otherwise impassive face. His eyes glared at Ed promising retaliation, but since Poter was also there he had double reason to hate the group. He glared at both groups. He didn't which of the two males he hated most. The young werewolf or the Potter boy who was just like James. Severus was already in a foul mood from having them first as his group so he got straight to the lesson where he'd have excuses to withdraw points from them. Sneering he began his lecture.

"You have had five teachers in this subject so far, I believe," he started out enjoying the fact he would get the chance to point out how lacking this department has been compared to the strict protocol of his potions class. "Naturally, these teachers will all have had their own methods and priorities. Given this confusion I am surprised so many of you scraped an O.W.L. in this subject. I shall be even more surprised if all of you manage to keep up with the N.E.W.T. work, which will be much more advanced."

He started walking around the outside edge of the classroom as he spoke. His eye glittering, "I suggest you take notes," he barked out as he saw that well over half the students were only half listening to him. He didn't approve of this in the least. He continued on as if uninterrupted by their lackwit ways. His voice low and calm, an edge of reverence creeping into the words. "The Dark Arts, are many, varied, ever-changing and eternal. Fighting them is like fighting a many-headed monster, which, each time a neck is severed, sprouts a head even fiercer and cleverer than before. You are fighting that which is unfixed, mutating, indestructible."

He paused and regarded the class as he stood next to an image and said softly, "Tell me what then must your defences be?"

((Some of this is canon, some is not. There is some of the spoken words that are direct quotes from the books. This will happen throughout the story.))

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Jocelyn gave Ed a brief smile when he took his seat, knowing he wasn't thrilled in the least to be in this class, least of all up front. Not that it mattered where you sat in Snape's class, considering his tendency to walk around the class room. She didn't say a word as the class began and spoke of how, given the confusion of having so many DADA teachers, so many of them had managed the O.W.L in the subject. She, of course, had done well, and his next words came almost as a challenge to the girl, whether or not it was meant to be.

When he began to lecture she took notes, ignoring the barking comment, as well as the other students around her, some of whom were listening and taking notes, others who were not. She looked up from her papers only when he stopped and asked a question. She waited a moment in case anyone else wished to answer before she spoke up after raising her hand briefly. "Your defenses must be equally as strong, if not stronger, more clever, and variable. You cannot effectively fight that which is ever changing if your defenses are few and always remain the same. They must be varied and adaptable, capable of changing as that which you fight changes, otherwise you will fail." she pushed back any timidness that she felt and spoke both with confidence but also respect. With that she fell silent.

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Severus regarded Joce as her hand rose and he indicated for her to speak. He listened and said "Precisely, Five points for Ravenclaw," he said reluctantly. He began to move on explaining each picture in turn until he stood at the front of the classroom again. He regarded the class with his cold hard eyes, "you are, I believe, complete novices in the use of non-verbal spells. What is the advantage of a non-verbal spell?" He asked regarding the room again. His eyes landed on Ed.

"Mister van Daal, tell me what is the advantage of a non-verbal spell?" Severus asked cruelly, knowing that Ed would have no idea. Ed stared at him with a startled expression, never wanting to be called out in one of Snape's classes Ed had been studiously ignoring everything and writing furiously on the paper. Some of it was notes, some was little doodles. Severus made hsi way to Ed's desk who quickly hid the doodled on page beneath the stack of parchment, but not quick enough.

"Shame shame van Daal, detention," Severus said with a small dark smile as he pulled out the doodled upon page, "anyone else?" he asked regarding the room studiously ignoring Hermione's hand that had shot up in the air.

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Jocelyn didn't let it show that she was pleased when her answer was correct, instead being thankful that it had been the answer he was looking for. She was intelligent but generally tended to keep her answers to herself, leaving the know-it-all reputation to Hermione. She only answered when no one else did and she knew the teacher would be insistent on receiving an answer.

She winced inside when he called Ed out, asking him about nonverbal spells. She hoped he would be able to give an answer, but to her dismay, he got detention instead and she internally cursed Snape's dislike of him, although she didn't let it show on her face. She sighed a little to herself and twirled her quill lightly between her fingers as he asked if anyone else could answer. She waited a short time for anyone but Hermione to answer, since it was quite obvious that Snape wouldn't be calling on the girl. Jocelyn finally raised her hand, not keen on the idea of whatever talk they might receive if he got no answer and assumed no one knew the answer. She waited for him to indicate that it was okay before she answered. "If your opponent doesn't know what spell you're casting, it's harder for them to defend themselves against it." she replied before, once again, falling silent.

Once the lesson was finally over she packed up her things and threw her bag over her shoulder, waiting a moment for Ed to pack up before she left so that they could talk on the way to class. "You okay?" she asked him in a voice low enough that it couldn't be heard by anyone else, including Snape, over the chatter of the other students.

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Severus called upon Joce again and was pleased she had answered correctly. He didn't know why, but she was someone he rather liked. Which was rare in someone not in his house. Something in her reminded him of Lily, but in a good way. He didn't fully understand it. He didn't particularly care. He awarded her another five points and continued on with the lesson, which consisted of teaching them the basics of a non-verbal spell and highlighting the importance of it and how to perform magic non-verbally. He assigned them a reading and an essay due next class before practicum.

He dismissed them at the sound of the bell. Since this had been a double lesson that would leave them lunch to attend to before afternoon lessons. He paused only long enough to hand a piece of paper to Ed listing his detention. He gathered up his things and left heading towards his private office. He didn't intent on having lunch in the great hall.



Ed slumped into his chair dismayed at having received a detention but not surprised. He was always getting them from Snape and without cause most of the time. He rose to his feet and began packing his things as soon as the lesson was over. "Yah, I'm fine Joce, just frustrated," he said grabbing the paper off his desk glaring at it as he shoved it back in his back. "come on lets get some lunch we have herbology next, followed by Transfiguration." Ed had memorized their timetable and though they had a few lessons different the majority was the same.

He slung his full back over his shoulder and waited for Joce.

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Joce was pleased that she had once again answered correctly and receive another five points. She didn't know why he seemed to like, or at least tolerate her more than many others, but she couldn't complain. Then again, she had never had a teacher that didn't like her, so she supposed it wasn't that odd, even if it was odd for the man in particular. She never paid it any mind, though, she was simply glad he didn't single her out like he did Ed. The latter was rather frustrating for the girl, but what could she do?

She glanced down at the paper Ed was handed, nodding to his comment, having expected him to be frustrated and understanding why. "Of course." she replied when he suggested lunch, chuckling a little at the fact that he had memorized their schedules. She had, too, but she had a tendency to remember things easily. He always remembered the most random things and it amused her. She pulled her bag snugly on her shoulder and indicated that she was ready to go.

She walked with him to the great hall and let him pick where they sat before taking a seat next to him and filling up her plate with various foods before turning her attention back to the boy. "So, what do you think about meeting up by the lake after my Arithmancy class later?" she asked, her eyes telling that it was so that they could talk. She needed to tell him about what she had learned. She needed to talk about it in general, it was eating her up to keep it to herself, and he deserved to know, especially considering that Snape was on her very short list of suspects.

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Ed chuckled with her. He did tend to me more artsy then studious and Jace knew that. She knew he enjoyed to spend the day drawing versus studying. The things he remembered were always random and strange to others. They made sense to him. He took a seat at the Ravenclaw table where they had taken to eating together when allowed, though sometimes he was told to get back to his own table. he generally disregarded this. He filled his plate and started wolfing down food, "yah, sounds good," he said offering her a light smile, "but I won't have long I got to meet professor pain in the ass for detention at 7pm." He added and leaned back over his plate.

Lunch didn't last long and soon they were off to class again. Ed had a break when she had her Arithmancy class and try as he might as he sat in his dorm curled up next to the window he couldn't read the chapter for Snape. This wasn't uncommon for him. He pushed the book away and realized he'd missed supper and that he was suppose to be meeting Joce almost an hour ago. He cursed and rose quickly the image he'd been drawing falling to the floor. He ignored it.

He left the room at a dead run and made it to the lake skidding to a halt panting, "sorry... I'm... late... was... drawing... instead of doing Snapes homework." he finished settling down on the river bank leaning back against the tree smiling at Joce.

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Joce was always glad when he sat with her. She had sat at his table a time or two, but they both knew she didn't like to get into trouble, although if she had to get into trouble, she would prefer it be for doing something like that for him than for some other reason. Ed was very different from her in many ways, and that was just one of them. He was artsy where she was studious and would probably tell you that she couldn't draw a decent picture to save her life. She hated to get into trouble where he was not only used to it, but sometimes could be mischievous. He had a lot of reasons in his life to be sad so he was often sullen where she tended to always be upbeat and positive no matter what was going on in her life. They were a strange pair, opposite on many accounts, yet they fit together perfectly.

"Of course." she laughed a little at his comment about having to meet professor Snape at seven, although his name for the professor was far more amusing. "Don't have too much fun with that." she teased with a light smile before she went back to eating her food as lady-like as possible while effectively inhaling it as she always did. Sadly lunch didn't last long and then they were off to Herbology.

The day seemed to go by pretty fast and before she knew it her Arithmancy class was finished and she was done for the day. She packed her stuff back into her bag and made a stop in the dorms to drop off her books and change into something more comfortable. After she had changed she grabbed her bag, which now contained a small journal and another locked book that contained many things she had written over the years, from songs to poems to short stories. She closed the bag, tossed it over her shoulder, then headed down to the lake.

Ed hadn't arrived yet, but that didn't truly surprise her. He had never been one to show up too early. He was usually on time, but rarely early, and sometimes late when he got caught up with something and lost track of time. She wrote in her journal for a time while she waited and he still hadn't shown up, so she took to skipping rocks across the water while she contemplated her current situation and how to explain it to Ed when he did get here.

After nearly an hour he finally showed up in a full run before skidding to a halt, trying to explain why he was late while simultaneously trying to catch his breath. She laughed and shook her head a little. "It's fine. I figured it was something like that." she gave a small smile before gesturing for him to sit with her. "At least you didn't try to tell me you were actually doing the homework. That would have been a little harder to believe." she was teasing him and it was obvious in the smile she gave him before leaning back slightly as he settled in, leaning against the tree.

"Right, so you asked me yesterday what was going on." she hesitated a moment, trying to decide how to even begin. "I just found out the other night that I'm adopted." she got straight to it and sighed, pulling her legs up close to her chest and resting her chin on them. "Apparently my birth mother gave me up because I was a mistake, the product of one night she spent with someone when she was actually with someone else, who evidently didn't like whoever my father was." she went on, talking perhaps a little faster than she meant to. "Not only that, but she's dead now. Oh, and she also happens to be none other than Lily Potter." she stopped briefly to take a breath before she went on full speed. "And I have no idea who my father is. Although, I kind of sort of have a suspicion of who it might be, but you're not going to like it." she finally looked up at him hesitantly, a hint of worry in her eyes.

"What if it's Snape? I mean, he was friends with her and he liked her, plus he and James hated each other." she was thinking out loud now and there was an obvious hint of anxiety in her voice. "Why didn't she tell him? Why did she give me up to strangers? At least I could have known my father... I..." she paused and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to dump on you or freak out I just don't know what to think." she looked up at him somewhat sadly. "Why didn't they tell me?" she asked sadly, although she knew he didn't know the answer any more than she did and she didn't expect an answer, it was more of a rhetorical question than anything, but she had to ask.

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Ed laughed so hard he started gasping. They knew each other so well that nothing surprised them anymore when it came to one another. So they knew exactly when to tease and when one was teasing the other. He grinned, "Oh no that was what I was TRYING to do, but you know the paper remained blank so I needed to color it in of course." He said once he'd finished laughing himself to hysterics. He settled back down and turned serious as she began.

He put one arm around her as she pulled in on herself. Listening and not speaking. When he was serious Ed could be quite sweet and he didn't need to speak right now he needed to listen. He squeezed her gently and said softly, "Joce no matter what you're still my Joce, regardless of who your bio mom is. Your parents they love you and they don't care that your adopted so who care who your bio daddy is he's not around or even cares for you so what's the big deal with him anyways? Not like you'll ever meet him, plus you have the best dad ever. I wish I had your parents Joce." he said, he knew his words were awkward and not what she needed or wanted to hear, but Ed sucked at these things. He always tended to just be blunt.

He tightened his hold on her and cringed at the thought, "ugh I really hope not, that guys a creep! I hate him!" He sighed, "Nah you know I don't care. Joce if she didn't tell him it was to protect him or you or both I don't know. I might hate him, but he might not be that bad maybe? I don't know. I wish I knew." Ed didn't know what to say so he just stopped talking and held her tightly in his arms, hugging her. "Love you Joce" He said softly. The only words he knew that could mean anything.

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Joce laughed along with him, shaking her head when he said it was what he was trying to do. "Oh, of course it was. You just couldn't leave that paper all blank, you had to draw on it. It would have been a crime otherwise." she continued to tease, laughing lightly. Once they had finished their bout of laughter she had get down to the reason she had asked him to come, before he had to leave.

She was thankful for the warmth and comfort his arm brought and she felt herself relax a little as she leaned into him lightly as she spoke and he stayed quiet until she had finished before he spoke. She nodded gently when he finally spoke and she sighed gently. "I know, and I'm thankful for that." she replied with a soft voice. "I know they love me, and I'm thankful for them, too. They're amazing, and it's not like I regret having been raised by them, I don't... I just wish I could have known my birth parents, too." she looked up at him hoping it made sense. "And maybe it doesn't matter, maybe he doesn't care, but maybe he does and he just doesn't know. Maybe he's alone and needs someone as much as I need to know who he is. I don't know if it's a good idea, maybe it isn't, but I have to know." she stared up a him a moment longer before leaning her head against his chest and letting her knees slide down from her chest.

She felt a tinge of something, maybe pain or regret, when he cringed and went on for a moment about how he hoped it wasn't Snape, but she felt relief when he continued on to say he didn't care, and maybe Lily hadn't told him to protect either one or both of them and she figured he was probably right. She almost laughed a little when he carried on for a minute before he stopped talking, not knowing what to say, but he'd tried and that was more than she could ask for. She had needed to get it all out, and to know that no matter what he would be there and he would be okay, even if it was Snape. She hadn't expected him to have any profound words of wisdom or comfort, all the comfort she needed to know that he was there and he loved her, and that he always would. "Thanks." she said gently, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him lightly. "I love you, too." she replied gently, giving him a small smile. That was all she'd needed to hear.

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Ed smiled "It was a crime, you know I rather have a doodled paper then a blank sheet, plus you know I can't ever do the note taking thing. It's just blank paper and words and I don't know Joce," he sighed. He raised his hands and waved them absently. He regarded her with a light smile. Knowing the conversation was shifting quickly.

"Then you need to ask your mom Joce and get her to give you an answer, tell her the truth of how you feel, it'll help both of you," Ed said settling his arm around her once more the conversation flowing between them easily. He knew his admittance to being unable to take notes was nothing new. It was simply something light to help distract.

He smiled, "Any time love," He said as he held her for a long silent moment relishing those simple three words. "So what are you going to do?" He finally asked breaking the silence and getting down to the point. He wanted to know as much as she did who her real dad was. He was shocked and bewildered and very intrigued.

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Jocelyn laughed lightly and shook her head at Ed as he continued. "You're hopeless, you know that?' she teased. "But it's alright. I know that you and words and seriousness don't always get along." she chuckled. "Not everyone loves to read and write and learn and be a nerd." she winked.

She nodded to his next words about talking to her mom. She did need to talk to her, to apologize for her reaction and to let her know how she felt about everything, but also to let her know that she didn't hate her, and she didn't regret having her as her mother. "I will talk to her. She doesn't know who my father is, though. As far as I can tell, my guess is as good as hers." she explained, looking up at the sky for a long moment before looking back at him.

She leaned against him and let him hold her in silence for a short time before he asked what she was going to do. "I don't know, really." she answered honestly. "I mean, I guess I could confront Snape, ask him if he and Lily ever..." she paused and shuttered slightly. "I know he won't know if he is my father, but he'll know if there's a chance." she went on. "Right now, that's about the best lead I have. Otherwise, maybe DUmbledore knows something? He seems to always have some idea of what is going on." she sighed lightly. "I just hope I can find some answers. You know I don't do well with not knowing things." she smiled a little, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

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Ed chuckled, "Only my beautiful Joce does that," He teased lovingly. He always did enjoy teasing her. His laugh followed the statement soon after. And he offered her a light kiss on the cheek. "I don't want you to change that Joce I love that about you, my little nerd."

"You'll find a way to make this better Joce, you always do I have faith in you love," He said softly. His laughter dying again. "Is there no clue? No one who'd know for sure? Surely someone must know. It's got to be somewhere. These things aren't just mysteries."

"I really don't think confront Snape and asking him if he got it on with Lily is a good idea Joce, actually I'm pretty sure that's the stupidest idea you've ever had and for you that's saying something since you're like never stupid. I'm the stupid one Joce, please don't go down the stupid road. There really isn't a cure available once you start, it swallows you whole!" He ended by teasing because there really wasn't much else he could say. Outside of 'NO that is truly stupid' but he didn't want to say that. It would be harsh. He could understand wanting to know. He would feel the same in her place.

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Joce giggled at his comment and closed her eyes tightly when he kissed her cheek before she kissed his cheek in return and smiled sweetly. "Well, good. I'm glad you love it. I'm pretty sure I couldn't change if I wanted to, so it's best you not get your hopes up." she teased lightly and winking playfully.

She looked up at him, her gaze serious but soft as he assured her that she would find a way to make it better. "I hope you're right." she sighed lightly, tucking some hair behind her ear. When asked if there was no clue or anyone who knew for sure she shrugged. "I don't know, honestly. No one that I know of, or that my mother seems to know of. There has to be someone, though, right? I mean, surely she had someone to tell, someone who knew her secret. But who?" she wondered aloud.

When he Ed explained that it was a dumb idea and went on to tease she laughed a little and nodded. "Yeah, I know it's stupid. I just needed to say it out loud so that I would realize who dumb it was, and so you could tell me it was dumb and then I could talk myself out of it." she knew it probably sounded weird or crazy but maybe not so much for her. "And yeah, I know, I've been trying to find that cure since I met you." she teased, winking and nudging his shoulder gently.

She really did want, no, need to know. But she couldn't be careless or stupid about it. She had to think about it and try to figure out the best course of action, find out who might have been close friends with Lily at the time and might have been privy to such a secret. If she could find nothing else, she could always see if Dumbledore knew anything. At the very least she knew that she couldn't just confront Snape. That wouldn't be pleasant for anyone, and there was really no version of that conversation that ended well. No, she had to find someone else. If it did end up being him, she had to find out for sure first. Anything less would be nothing short of a disaster.

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Ed smiled at Joce, “Good ‘cuze I didn’t have my hopes up love,” he answered returning her wink. Ed stopped moving for a moment. He had to think. “We should start with someone Lily knew back then. Not Snape,” he added quickly and then continued on, “Someone who knew her well. Maybe an older friend of hers? Someone who would know who she was during that time in her life. Who she was with roughly nine months before your birth. That’s the only way I can think of to find out,” Ed finished with a light sigh. “Only think I don’t now who would have known Lily.”

He stopped speaking and just held her a moment longer before he thought some more on it. Ed laughed at her teasing words as he found her sweet and adorable. He didn’t feel like she was crazy for doing that, “I know Joce, it’s what you always do. But you have to admit it’s rare I get to call your ideas stupid Come on we need to find someone so maybe it’s time to go…” he gasped as if in total shock, “to the library” he ended in an exaggerated whisper.

He gently released her and stood, swinging his pack across his back. His hand held out to help Joce up from the ground. His eyes locked on hers.

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