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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:43 am 

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@black: Well that seems a common, and if I may so I think is a good thing. :)

Today a Truth - I have a hard time controlling my temper around people who either mistreat or take there family for granted. As some know I lost family, and still continually lick those wounds of loss. But my attitude has been in my for much longer then that. I want people who have lost so little to love the life they have and enjoy it. Not find something wrong with it. I have lived through so much pain and heartache that I would never wish it on others. Hence why I can't seem to reel in my anger at certain thing's.

Even my best friends we're not blessed with a blind eye. They actually had it the worse if I am truly honest with myself. But i don't regret the things I have said, I meant it. Because of the loss I have I appreciate all that I can give to my family. Even if not everyone deserves my love, and faith in them. But I will go with that is one of my redeeming qualities. So in all Love your family, because you may not have forever to say the thing's you want to say. And because like all thing's time is precious. Hope you are well <3

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:39 pm 
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@black I totally understand that. I'm usually only this crazy when with my friends, most of whom are on this site as well, though hardly at all.

@Dragon It gets annoying when people take such an important thing for granted, but remember: you have a family here in CF, and we love you.

So my truth is that I'm lazy. No, really, REALLY lazy! If I'm going to strive to do something, I need specific directions on how to do it, I can't just go at it without messing something up. When it comes to singing, I try hard, but my mind gets distracted (Curse you Youtuuuuube!)

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:17 pm 
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@black Is it sad that I know what gunpla means...I don't own any, but I do have the Gundam Wing box set with Endless waltz on DVD, first Anime I ever watched more then a couple episodes of.

Anyway, some truth about me. As Asteria could confirm I am a skinny twig of a man at 5' 10" 115 lbs soaking wet. What she may not know is how much I dislike my size. I have so far been unable to gain any weight, either in muscle or fat, and it leaves me somewhat frail and unable to do a lot of things I wish I could.


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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:43 am 
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@Dragon, that is similar to my own... let's call it "theology" for lack of the right word.
Except mine is more along the lines of "everyone deserves love... except me."

A light-hearted truth: No offence meant, but dragon's signature... it's both romantic and a bit disturbing at the same time... I can't ever look at it for too long xD

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:56 am 

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@Aragorns: It's quite alright it was meant to be powerful and subtle. I intend to make a new one so maybe it won't affect you as much XD Just mean's my artistic feeling's seeped through yay. !eyebrow And hush I have met people who don't deserve love, are not one of those. So stay strong and don't lose faith. When we show confidence and that we can be content, life will throw a curve ball at you :)

@Mystic: Thank you dear, I do remember of my family here, you all are always freaking awesome possum! and I feel you on the distracted easily. As I have said goldfish Blub Blub lol But work through it Mystic I know you can do it!

@Alistair: Body image is a pain all around. My younger brother is all bones too so I understand. But what we don't like we can change. But it's not about not liking who are, more about improving yourself into the person you see your self as and enjoying who you are. That may have come out gibberish but I hope it's meaning comes across regardless.

Hmm I think a Secret today. Up until my middle of my teen hood I was a chronic lair. I was raised being told that if anyone knew about my life that I would be shunned or taken away. And that type of fear controlled my mind for a long time. So much that I learned to show people what they needed to see, occasionally I wear the mask still, but that is more to keep myself in tabs. As I can be emotional I try to keep it contained and such.

I am thankful now that I no longer have to lie as much. I now only do white ones because sometimes people need to hear one thing to progress. But I am more myself with the people I love and cherish cause I am honest not only with them but with myself.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:02 pm 
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truth...I lose track of time and days. get easily distracted and forget things. all of this plus trying to keep up with reality (much as I hate it) and still maintain a lot of things outside the computer.

generally this happens when my major insomnia that had some additive labels to emphasis to me how bad I don't sleep acts up.

I try to function but not always am I able to.


another truth I haunt cf generally and rarely don't have presence here. minus the past few days where I been seeing so little computer me time.

XD

The biggest truth about me is...

friendship is forever with me. At least on my end. The closer you are the stronger my bond with you. Be you family by blood or friendopted my familial love to those I call family is forever and always. I might not be with you or see you often or at all but if I talk to you like you would anyone you see outside the computer to me we are blood by soul.

family is forever and always.

friendship is forever on my end. you won't ever lose me but if you throw me away...on my end that friendship is still there. You want it back come get it. I never abandon those I let into my life.

the closer you are the more it matters to me that you know this fact.


another truth based off this truth...in my entire life I've only ever cut out one person and that was because they almost caused my brother's death (literally) and it was STILL the hardest thing for me to do.

It goes against the very nature of my soul to cut you out of my life entirely....but that has only ever happened once. Pushed back and put up restrictions or restraints I can do but to cut you out entirely hurts me and has only happened that one time.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 7:30 am 
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@Zoruna. I am... the same. I've come close to cutting people off many times and then... my brain's just gone "nope."

Here's a truth; I play WoW! Ain't nobody messin' me now, I'm down with my guild gettin' wild, it's my crowd, and I can't remember the rest of the lyrics.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 9:34 am 

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Hugs both Zor & Aragorns, your both loved.

@Aragorns: I actually have alot of friends who play it. I most likely would have gotten into it if I had a computer earlier on. But I do not so I just watch from the sides with a bit of envy XD I truly am a geek at heart. Now I have Leroy Jenkin's stuck in my head....heheheh. Sry I know people who do that in any game. Kinda like when you toss the monopoly board XD

Okay today a Truth, okay some of you know how much I love my books. Like I really love my books. I was that kid that before bed, had pile of books as tall as me and pushing it to the side of the bed. To be read to before bed. And then when you were done I wanted you to do it again. And i would bat my beautiful eyes and smile and i would most likely get my way or at least given a flash light lol. I would watch beauty and the beast and when Belle opened the library, my brain would go "Yup I want that". I still do that, I have only a section on the wall but I still want more. And I try not to be picky as I like to be open minded about different stories and such.

I do have a few select authors that I love Anne Rice for her beautiful description's, that I can feel like I am there. It suck's me in, and I kinda lose focus on everything else. Her character's have flaws but are still beautiful in all there sins. Then for my more romantic side Gena showalter, Gena's books make me laugh cry and aspire for that kind of love. Yes there only character's but too have something love so much is beyond beautiful that I feel that is the type of love that could change the world. I know seriously I am way too much of a dreamer romantic. But I would rather live in the light of a dream then in the shadow of doubt. I also like to read books about people. I find it very humbling and refreshing I once read a book called They cage the animal's at night. It was comforting to read such a book even though I was so young. But I also like Shakespeare and Poe as a child and teen. So my love for books is always growing.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:12 pm 
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A truth. I used to get in trouble in school all the time.....for reading to much. No seriously. I would finish my work ahead of the rest of the class, start reading a book, and not hear the teacher start talking again. until they said my name loudly or I happened to see them out of the corner of my eye standing right next to my desk.


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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:28 pm 
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Alistair, I totally know what you mean. I also have been yelled at for reading after getting done with homework. I can speed through stuff like nobody's business, and I get in trouble for that.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2013 1:22 am 
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Okay, this time a kinda secretish truth of a somewhat more personal nature.

I'm horrible with emotions, ecspecially negative ones. I don't know how to express them most of the time so I just don't even try. It gets to the point that even I'm not sure how I feel, I become just kind of a blank slate, neither upset nor happy. This causes much frustration in my personal life, but that's just the way I am. It makes it easy to move on from things like ended friendships, sometimes too easy. I don't really look for a way to fix things because I know that the ending won't bother me too badly.


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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 11:57 pm 

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@Alistair: Honestly I think I can kind of understand that concept. And nothing is wrong with that, i think if it helps you deal then so be it.

Secret today - As I grew up I never really felt like I could be myself. Not with my family, friends, no one. Even into my late 20's now I still know I can't be ever fully honestly with certain people. Either because they will not except or because they would find that I don't fit there type of person. Some day's I feel like I am not really sure who I am or what I like or don't. I kinda just feel like a mirror that lets people see what they need to see. I don't hate it, I like making the people I love and enjoy happy. So it stinks I am still trying to find the real me, but I think that one day I will be able to reveal all the shades of my wings.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:37 pm 
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@Dragon_Maiden.
Do it.
Do it noooooowwww.
Be yourself!
If anyone says they don't like you, then screw them!
If the world don't like ya, then screw the world!!
Just my opinion. /hipstermomentover.

Random secret because... I have no idea why.
When I was younger, 11 or 12 I think... I had a bit of a crush on Demi Levato...
Don't know why, I think it was that song Remember December that sort of hit me.
But yeah.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:40 pm 
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I have a really bad habit of overreacting over stupid things. Well, sometimes stupid sometimes actually irritating. Either way, I lose my cool more than I should. Most of the time the solution ends up being something so simple that I either ignore or overlook.

It's something I'm slowly working on.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 3:45 pm 

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Most of the time I am too shy to talk to anyone. Also in my more talkative moments I am still a very closed person, even online. T_T I wish I was more outgoing.


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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:14 pm 
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@MrJohn So do I.

Truth!

I've been watching the Christopher Eccleston Doctor Who recently.
It's absolutely fantastic!

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:08 pm 
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You all know how spontaneous and silly I am when you RP or chat with me here, but did you know that in front of most people, I am a very quiet person who keeps to herself instead of hanging out with 'normal' people? I don't care to converse with people who aren't willing to be friendly towards me and my crazy ways. It hurts that I am able to look at their point of view and understand, but they don't, and they think I'm weird.

Being in a high school where everyone is the same and they don't even care to look at my good points when I'm so different from them. Ok, I hate wearing makeup, I don't buy designer clothes because I see no reason to buy something for 100 bucks when I could get a pair that will work just as well for me for around 5, and I HATE gossip. Is there anything wrong with me being nice, and not a complete jerk? Maybe I don't like being gawked at by men. Maybe I see no reason to have 5% of my body covered with a swim suit, and I'd rather just cover myself. I might like random stuff, and I might think differently than others, but that is no reason for me to be hated and left out. I try to be involved, but it just doesn't seem to work.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 3:40 pm 
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I don't think it's weird at all.

That's just how high school is and why I don't miss it. I was in your position; I didn't care about make up or designer clothes. People thought I was weird because I thought differently and didn't conform to whatver the 'in' thing was, and I often tried too hard to fit, which never ended well. Eventually I just said **** it and didn't care.

If people aren't going to like you for who you are then it isn't worth the effort.

Me? I keep to myself even on the internet. Only a select few people know the real me, mostly because I'm so self-conscious.

Now for my truth...

Or, I would have had a somewhat decent one if I was able to put it into better words. I really can't stand myself for a lot of reasons; I really am not that smart or good with words. Just to sum it up...

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Sat Dec 07, 2013 7:59 pm 

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Hmmm... I think this is a bit weird. I can totally sleep alone in my own house, but I'm terrified if I have to sleep alone at my parents' house for some reason, can only sleep with every light but the bedroom I'm in turned on. And I used to live there before I came here. No clue why.

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 Post subject: Re: Secrets and Truths
PostPosted: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:03 am 

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Again this will not go out secretly into the night (dramatic pause)....
Okay so in truth I am happy this year is almost over another chance to wipe away the sting of my family. And to focus on other things.

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