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PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 4:09 pm 
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HERO SWORD VI
Collector’s Edition

The words were floating above him in 32-bit gold font, each letter independently going up or down to give it a wave-sort of look. Gunther had to crane his neck to read it, which was not making the headache any better. He felt he should be hyperventilating out of panic, but his own 8-bit body lacked the complexity to move his lungs, and possibly even have lungs. His mind worked, though, and it was freaking out. Gunther would run, run as far away as his legs could carry him but the world was 2-D and the edges of the screen formed a closed loop. If he ran off to the left he would appear to the right. He could see his own body from behind if he looked to either side.
Gunther was stuck in the loading screen of a videogame. He did not know how. He could not even imagine how, unless it was a dream, and that was a distinct possibility. He had tried pinching himself but the 8-bit body lacked fingers. All he could do was wave his arms up and down, side to side.

Below the banner of the game name, were golden options, floating in front of him. How it could float in front of him, he did not know, since the world was 2-D, but his little 8-bit body did cross or cover the text. The cause of the headache was at least in part due to perceiving an impossible world. Gunther wanted to get out of this screen, so he read the options before him again.

CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT

Obviously hitting Quit had been the first thing he had tried. The world had made a whirring sound and the ominous black clouds that floated in the distance had gotten jagged edges for a second and frozen in place, before the screen had continued as normal and no quitting had been achieved. Further hits of the Quit button had yielded similar results.
(Again, how could there be clouds in the distance, the world was 2-D!)

He tried punching the Continue or Options, but his 8-bit body could not reach. He also found each of his jumps were the exact same height and accompanied by a “Boing” sound. He tried clicking Load Game, but that prompted a message:
NO SAVED FILES
Underneath it was a box that said: OK, which Gunther could only barely reach if he timed his jump and click just right. He shuddered to think how stuck he would be if that message box had been a bit further up the screen.
He sighed – a mental sigh, since he had no lungs – and clicked New Game. He was still scared, but it seemed there was nothing else to do.

The world dissolved.

He found himself in a cave, which was, if nothing else, somewhat nicely rendered. He could see the square design of the rock walls if he squinted, but he found himself unable to look down at himself. He definitely had a sense of self but he could not see it. He waved his invisible arms about and could certainly feel himself doing it. The cave was slightly drafty and he felt naked, except possibly around the groin. He walked forward, and yup, he was definitely wearing a loincloth. He had never been comfortable with nakedness, so this was at least some relief. He was also quite sure he was going mad, but at least he would be partially clothed when the men in white jackets came for him. Perhaps he was really in a fetal position underneath his bed, making gurgling sounds and pretending all this was happening.

He walked forward at a set speed. It was impossible to move in any other speed than this. After a few steps a prompt popped up:
ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?
Predictably there were two options beneath it, and Gunther did realize at this point he couldn’t feel anything below the invisible loincloth. Things should be dangling. They weren’t. Well, that was a good reason to choose quickly. He reached out to punch the “BOY” option, and tried very hard to aim since he could not see his hand. It was then he noticed that at the edge of the options was a scroll bar.
To scroll or not to scroll? Scroll! He was already going mad, might as well scroll up and down the rabbit hole.
More options appeared as he scrolled: TRANS-BOY, TRANS-GIRL.
”That’s very PC of the game,” Gunther thought and scrolled further.
NO GENDER
ALL GENDER
HYPER-BOY
REVERSE-BOY
DOUBLE-GIRL
NO-BOY GIRL-BOY-GIRL-GIRL-BOY-GIRL
TRANS-DIMENSIONAL FIZGROP
Gunther scrolled up and punched “BOY”. Definitely BOY. Nothing more, nothing less.

The cave shifted again. Resolution improved and the lighting effect brightened. Still no body, though.
Gunther’s body felt numb – and something dangled, yay – and he just walked forward without really registering it mentally. This was… it was too odd to blow his mind completely. It all felt too familiar to really break him in to a sobbing wreck in the corner. He was in a video game… that offered just enough sense of narrative to make him just go with the flow. Stability. He could predict another option would come next, and that was… well, that was nice.

CHOOSE YOUR RACE
The words floated before him again. The word font was nicer too. That boded well; he would not want another 8-bit body.
He punched HUMAN, which was the top one and to his right came a stat menu and a beautifully, photo-realistic portrait of a human popped up.
Strength: Average
Dextery: Average
Gunther scrolled down. There were a lot of stats. A lot. Breeding stats: High. Population: Extreme. Geographical spread: Extreme.



Gunter looked at the other races. The list was astronomical. He scrolled up and down at random. Minotaur? No. False-blood? No. Gnoll? Hmm… no. Who would pick a gnoll, anyway?
Gunther scrolled back up, punched human and immediately he was able to see his body. He was only a little chubby in real life, but this body had a defined six-pack and arms much more muscular and hairy than his own. The world around him shifted in resolution again. Much better. The walls looked real. His own arms almost looked real. And his loincloth was filthy! Ew! He hurried onwards. If he knew videogames, next would come class selection and that might just come with a class-specific outfit.

CHOOSE YOUR CLASS
Another absurdly long list, but Gunther was going to take his time with this one. From this point on he didn’t know what would happen… what should he focus on? Fleeing? Blending in? If this was a video game he would need survivability in some form but…
FIGHTER – definitely not.
BARBARIAN – Half-naked and a front-liner. Not a chance.
ROGUE – that might be something, good at hiding. Gunther read through the class description… A lot of focus on backstabbing. Assassination class feature, apparently. Eeehm… no. Killing was… that didn’t seem quite right.
WIZARD – That could be.
He scrolled down again randomly… scrolled… scrolled…
The list of classes was… it was insanely comprehensive. Thousands of classes just from a quick scroll up and down. He took hold of the scroll bar and manually yanked it to bottom just to see what would be there.
CARPENTER
FREEMASON
SCHUWM HERDER
INTERIOR DECORATOR
Noooope. He scrolled back up to the actual classes.

Gunther took a deep mental breath. Stay calm. The situation was obviously mad, frightening and impossible but it was not… foreign. He was slightly nerdy. He liked games, books, movies and it was not foreign for him to imagine himself inside whatever media he was into at a given time when he was in the shower or out shopping for milk. He was inside a video… he had already played through this mental scenario and if he got killed instead of being the biggest badass because he was too shocked to pick his initial stats properly… He would never forgive himself – provided, of course, he figured out how to save.
Gunther had never seen Sword Art Online before. He knew it was about something something video game, but he had read a fanfic about a guy being shuffled around random anime universes whenever he fell asleep and in the end decided to use his knowledge of the plots to win.
Gunther would do the same. Only he would start out being smart, not go through several chapters of confusion and near-death experiences. He would minmax the **** out of himself, as soon as he figured out the rules. Start by picking a smart class, have it be versatile.

A tune started playing in his head and the thought that he could live out some kind of power fantasy was grounding, solidifying his thought. Don’t be a stereotype. Don’t be a victim. Use all your knowledge. Exploit everything. Win everything. Don’t fight fair, don’t try to follow the rules of this game. Do the impossible, see the invisible. Touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable.

Rawr rawr, fight the power.

In his mental models of how he’d actin a video game one of the requirements was something he would be able to use once he got out of the game. Being a monk and learning martial arts would be nifty, never being afraid of L1 Real-World humans again, but on the other hand, he had never been in a fight in his life. Would he ever need real world martial arts? How about magic? It would depend on how mana worked.
Survival, versatility, not reliant on things he can’t get in real world – just on the general rule that he already thought about that factor. Alchemist class might need reagents not found in real life. A Demon Slayer would need demons to slay.
Perhaps he could just choose carpenter and live a quiet life in a small village for the rest of his life until a horde monsters came about and killed him and everyone else to inspire the true hero to begin his quest.
Yeah, no. Some kind of tanky wizard? Or stealth-focused wizard? Or a druid who could hide behind his animal companion and run around while it took the hits or snag the experience it got from kills?

He was thinking hard… thinking. Actually…
Actually… that was more appealing. He scrolled about and tried to find a specific class like that, but there were thousands of class choices. The core classes were at the top. That was easy to search but if he wanted something special… well…
“Can I, ehm… can I search for… ehm… Psion?” He said it out loud, hoping something would happen. And it did. The display at his side instantly showed the Psion class. He read through it… and yeah, that sounded like it. Ability to do as he thought, telekinesis, telepathy, teleportation. Lots of tele.
Not good hit points, but apparently some ability to form mind shields or whatever. It wasn’t saying much about how to do things, just things the class could potentially do. Still, that sounded fantastic. If he could mind-control some strong enemy – which wasn’t sentient so it wouldn’t be an evil act – then he’d even have a meat shield.

Gunther punched the “SELECT” box and the resolution once more upped himself. And he was clothed! Clean clothes! Blue and silver robe. A snazzy cone-shaped hat and… eeeew.
He reached up under his new robe and tossed the dirty loincloth away. Never, ever again.

He proceeded. Some more customization options. Appearance stuff, fluff. He clicked the “random” button until he found a face that seemed mostly like his old one and then adjusted minor details. He could not help but think that the UI was surprisingly good, and everything looked… real now. Very real. The graphics were indistinguishable from real life and it was scary to customize a real face.

Hit “SELECT” and continue onwards.

A menu popped up as he walked on, towards the end of the cave, a summary of all he had chosen.
IS THIS INFORMATION CORRECT?
He looked it over it and realized he had already made a blunder. He was going to minmax everything. He was going to be a badass, not die to a roaming band of stray cats. He had picked human as a race. He was human in real life so that had been his reasoning, but if he was looking for power he would pick some psionic race or something with the ability to never die.
A part of him – the nerdy voice in the back of his head – was also shouting that humans were boring.

Intelligence: High
Dexterity: Clumsy
Strength: Below Average
Life span: Inapplicable

Dust-Born. Gold-skinned. Blue-skinned. He liked this. It seemed like it would make a great psion. Not short, not tall, slender and mostly humanoid.

He took one more step… and then the final option box popped up:
YOU MUST CHOOSE A NAME
He stood around for a little… Gunther Kringlbasse… hardly heroic, was it? Maybe he’d be targeted by the alley-lurking cutthroats simply for having such a name. And he could choose anything… something cool. Like “John the Gun” or “Max Payne”. “Jack “Death Merchant” Slaughterhouse” or even “Blaze Fenix, the Burning Bombardment Bird”.
And well… the name he used online and in video games was…
There was no way of writing so he tried speaking out loud to the naming box:
“Saerimnir the Infinite… 3473… no, delete the numbers.”
To his surprise it obliged him. He had thought he would have to say “delete” four times to get a result but it seemed the game had at the very least a degree of word-recognition. Which was scary. Even scarier if it could understand full sentences, as it seemed… and incredibly terrifying if the game was sentient.

Gunther… no, Saerimnir the Infinite walked into the light at the end of the cavern, because there was nowhere else to walk. There was a flash, another shift to upgraded graphics, repeating sounds going “Nyeh! Nyeh!”, and then he was in a domed cave (ugh, more caves) with the outside clearly visible.
A huge red translucent barrier blocked off the outside world. Little, ugly, impish creatures were jumping against the barrier and striking at it with pickaxes as they shouted the “Nyeh!” sound. First encounter… that was terrifying.
The nerd voice at the back of his head tried to calm him down. ”Don’t panic! It’s the first encounter! That is always a pushover. It’s just to make you use your powers.”
And the more rational voice, which shouldn’t be speaking since rationality was broken at this point, informed the nerd voice that he didn’t know how to use his powers and all he had for a weapon was, in reality, a wooden stick.
”Then experiment,” said the voice of his inner genre-savvy nerd, “you’ve got time. Look above the barrier.”
Of course Saerimnir had already looked above, which was how his inner nerd could comment on it, but right now speaking to himself felt like sanity… which was, of course, insane.
Above the red barrier floated golden words:

WAITING FOR OTHER PLAYERS TO CONNECT. PLEASE BE PATIENT.


Last edited by TheRottenLeprechaun on Thu Jun 04, 2015 5:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2015 6:27 pm 

eye of newt, tail of newt... rest of newt...

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HERO SWORD VI
COLLECTOR'S EDITION




She stared up as best as she could, even if being two dimensional impaired her vision slightly. "Collector's edition"? She could not recall ever having paid for any game, ever, much less buying a collector's edition. And why would anyone make a collector's edition of a frickin' 2D game, anyway? Nothing made any sense. She could vaguely feel the bricks underneath her feet, except that the feel of them was distinctly unreal, and more as if someone had tried far too hard to draw realistic-looking brickwork.

NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
QUIT

She shrugged, somehow pressing 'new game' by jumping awkwardly and swinging her arms. She had no idea what the game was, so it did not even occur to her to try loading an old save file. Plus, this had to be a very realistic dream. Why would she quit just as it was getting started?

She watched with apathy as the world disappeared around her - typical dream stuff. It was a change for the better that the graphics looked nicer, though. The bricks felt somewhat more real, too - along with the sudden realization that she was not really wearing anything. No one was around, but she felt embarrassed regardless. Skimpy female armor in video games was one thing, but total nudity?! Nuh-uh, son. The likely promise of actual clothes made her consider clicking the 'BOY' button, until she noticed the scroll bar. Boy, girl, no... aha! It was with satisfaction that she jumped, swung her arms, and pressed the button labeled 'vague, yet menacing'. Perfect.

CHOOSE YOUR RACE

There were just as many, if not more, options for race than gender, but unlike before, she knew exactly what she was going for. Noting with satisfaction that she was not forced to jump and swing her arms like some demented cheerleader anymore, she scrolled until she reached the good ol' 'dwarf' on the list. Not caring about the endless list of stats that popped up (aesthetics mattered more to her than numbers), she took her time appreciating the change of scenery before moving on to choosing her class. This, too, was a simple matter - warrior all the way. Like in any other game, it only took a quick press of the 'select' button for leather armor and a rusty hatchet to appear. She silently thanked anyone who might have been listening in on her thoughts for proper, functional armor. It was an oddly detailed and structured dream for her, she noted with a growing suspicion. Was something fishy going on? She sniffed the air. No, not fishy, at least not in the literal sense, which spoke for the dream-theory, but sadly also did not undermine the wild idea of her actually being a real, live video game.

Did she want a beard? Hell yeah. Best part about being a dwarf and being a vague, yet menacing gender - beards were an option. Two majestic, red braids sprung from her cheeks, and she giggled to herself. Absolutely incredible. She did not spend nearly as much time on her beginning stats as she could have, but it was all right. Dream or not, she had no doubt that she was in absolute control of the situation, and she was actually beginning to enjoy herself quite a bit. Sure, you started with **** stats, but you could always change things later in the game. And then, just as she had forgotten about it, the worst happened.

YOU MUST CHOOSE A NAME

Naming had always been the bane of her existence. Besides, didn't she already have one? She tapped her hatchet restlessly against her leg as she struggled to remember. Did she have a name? Ah, no matter. She would have to find out later. For now, she could choose an alias. There was nothing to type with, and no keys to jump up and touch, so instead, she tried speaking her name aloud.

"Uhh... No, wait, delete that. DELETE, I SAID. That's right. Uhh... What would a vague, yet menacing dwarf be named? Oh, right." With the name, GentleRibcrusher, hovering above her head, she exited the beautifully rendered cave and arrived in another damn cave, only this time, it looked like there actually was a world outside the exit. If only that exit had not been covered in a red, shimmering film and a bunch of little noisy imp-things that were practically falling over each other in their eagerness to break down the barrier. Adrenaline that felt all too real made her heart race, and she grabbed her hatchet with both hands. GentleRibcrusher might have been a badass, but she wasn't, yet. Fortunately, there was another dude here. With a small sigh of relief, she ran over to him, hatchet still lifted just in case.

"Hi," she greeted him breathlessly. "So, I guess this is not a dream." It couldn't be, there were never other people in her dreams, and certainly not people with ridiculous, over-the-top names like Saerimnir the Infinite. Really now. She risked another glance back at the barrier. Waiting for other players to connect...? Oh, geez.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 1:56 am 

It is a hollow shell of what it once was.

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HERO SWORD VI
COLLECTOR'S EDITION


Roger looked up at the golden text, squinting at it in disbelief. It wasn't the fact that the name looked like it had some out of some kind of cliche-RPG-name-generator (although that's exactly what it looked like. Hero Sword? Seriously? What ever happened to Glory Staff, or Legend Arrow, or Valor Axe? And it was the 6th one?), but rather that the text was no longer appearing on his undersized, dusty television screen. It was right over his head, and not because he was wearing 3D glasses (as if this game would've been compatible with those- he didn't own any anyway), but because he was in the game.

Roger could only stand there in shock, his eyes roving the area, seeing nothing but the other lines of text floating ahead of him. Well, he could also see that although he appeared to be in a 2D world he could actually see clouds in the distance, somehow. But aside from that, and the fact that he was in a 8 bit body, he couldn't see anything but the lines of text.

He wondered if he was simply dreaming, or if he was suffering some kind of hallucination- the alternative was pretty difficult to believe, after all. People didn't get sucked into games. Well not in the literal sense, anyway. If it was the case, however, he decided he didn't much care. He didn't have many friends, his home life sucked, he was terrible at school (while he wasn't necessarily stupid, he hated reading and he sucked ass at math) and he didn't think he'd be missed anyway.

If it was a dream, it felt very real. The ground under his blocky, indistinct feet felt somewhat rough, anyway. With a shrug, he took a look at the words floating beneath the game's title.


CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT



Suddenly very aware of the bizarre, 8 bit body he was in, Roger jumped up (he attempted in inhale as he did so, idly realizing that he didn't seem able to breathe, nor did he seem to need to) and smacked 'NEW GAME' with a weird, fingerless hand.

He blinked as his surroundings changed into the interior of a dark cave. He hadn't had the opportunity to really examine the graphics of his environment before (those clouds didn't look all that great, but aside from that there hadn't been much to look at), but now he could see that the rocky boundaries of the enclosure looked decently composed. He could definitely make out some kind of pattern if he stared closely. Preoccupied with the things around him as he was, it was a moment before he realized that his body was no longer visible. It also felt rather… naked, though he guessed that didn't much matter since he was invisible anyway. Plus, it wasn't like he was standing on a stage in front of an audience or anything.

He abruptly turned around, as if to make sure that wasn't the case, before remembering the invisible part and relaxing again. With nothing else to do, he aimlessly moved forward until a new line of text popped up in front of him.


ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?



He quickly selected 'BOY' and watched, entranced, as the environment around him changed yet again as the features of the cave came into greater focus. He was starting to enjoy this, the waiting, the wondering what would be coming at him next. The thought, the possibility that this was all just a dream and that he'd be waking up at any moment sent him into a bit of a panic. Not yet. Please, not yet.

Before he could do more than feel horror at the thought of waking up in the dingy, smelly apartment where he lived with his mom and her shitty boyfriend, a new line of text appeared.


CHOOSE YOUR RACE



Normally, in games like this he always strived to be as different as he could in comparison to his real life. However now, given the possibility that this was his new life (hopefully), he decided it would be best to go with something he was comfortable with. Being comfortable might mean doing better in the game, which might translate to living longer. He assumed he could remain in this world for as long as he survived, and so with that in mind he clicked on 'HUMAN', which was the option located at the very top of the list. No need to scroll down.

Idly, he realized he was wearing some kind of loincloth, and then a moment later he realized he had a body. It was just about average height and rather muscular; his arms and chest suggested he started every day with 100 pushups before bench pressing a family of 4. It was definitely a far cry from the gangly, thin faced kid he had long since grown tired of seeing in the mirror. The cave was even more well defined now, and he could make out faint cracks in the walls around him. The detail was pretty impressive- if anything, he'd have said it resembled real life.


CHOOSE YOUR CLASS



Once again, it didn't take him long to find what he was looking for. His whole life he'd relied on working his way around obstacles, avoiding the bigger people who wanted to beat him up in favor of sneaking past, or taking a cheap shot when the opportunity presented itself. He studied the 'ROGUE' description, and although he didn't think he'd have been willing to assassinate people in real life, in this world he figured the ability would come in useful. Sometimes outright force works, and other times you stab living things repeatedly in the back until they become dead things.

He selected it, and then found himself garbed in lightweight, black leather armor from shoulders to toe. His head was hooded, which he thought was pretty badass in itself, but then he grinned widely at the sight of the scabbard hanging on the right side of his belt. He would've worried about how the game could possibly know he was right-handed, but he was too busy pulling the blade out of the sheath for inspection. If he was going to be a rogue, a thief, an assassin, he needed a good knife, and-

He drew the butter knife and frowned down at it for a long time before silently putting it back in its sheath.

He supposed it made sense, starting off with the worst gear, but he still would've expected something a bit more impressive than a tool used for spreading condiments on toast.

Roger updated his appearance next, rifling through different facial features until he found something that looked much nicer than his actual face. There was no reason to replicate that. He gave himself a normal sized nose (his actual one was somewhat long) and a nice, cool looking black goatee. His complexion was pale like in real life, but minus all the marks and red spots he'd had for as long as he could remember.


YOU MUST CHOOSE A NAME



He paused, feeling somewhat uncertain for the first time since finding himself in the game world. Roger Stevens was hardly a suitable name for a fantasy character. Steven Rogers? Steve Rogers? No, that was ridiculous. Then, just when he was starting to feel like he should just pick something at random, it came to him.

Recently he'd really been into the whole "Thor" thing, and he'd tried to read up on all the people from that place, Assguard. He wasn't exactly certain if that was what it was called, but then again he wasn't much of a reader so that came as no surprise.

"Assguard!"


ASSGUARD



As he stared at the name, he realized his mistake.

Wow. I would've looked pretty stupid if I left it like this.

He changed it, then smiled up at the finished product.


ASSGUARDIAN



Perfect. Can't be named after the place, after all.

With the naming complete, he moved confidently forward to the cave's exit up ahead, which led him… right into another cave. This time was different, however, as there was actually something outside the cave that didn't appear to simply be more cave. He stared at the numerous, pickaxe wielding… things, that flailed futily at the red, see-through barrier blocking them off from the inside.

"The hell are those thi-"

Before he could finish his question, directed to no one in particular, he noticed two other people standing there. They were staring at the barrier, and at some text hovering over it. He walked forward, squinting up at the golden words.


WAITING FOR OTHER PLAYERS TO CONNECT. PLEASE BE PATIENT


He looked from the words to the others, a dwarf and some kind of wizard, by the looks of them, and nodded for a greeting.

"Sup."

_________________
Learning a simple lesson isn't always simple. Sometimes, you have to slowly lose everything great around you to understand the gravity of your shortcomings. Admit that your egos have grown too large, that you've lost your sense of what you realistically are, and maybe you can repair the road that has broken beneath the weight of your failings. Or maybe you'll just keep going as you've gone, and you'll learn nothing, and eventually, everything around you will become dust. To be honest, that's by far the likeliest of all outcomes.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:18 am 
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David attempted to place a hand to his forehead as his surroundings came into focus, though strangely, he couldn't reach far enough no matter how hard he tried. His hands seemed to fall short of actually extending above the front of his face, and for that matter, in any direction other than up or down. He blinked once, then again - it seemed that they also fell short of possessing fingers, knuckles, or more than a single solid colour across their entire surface.

Not reality, then. That much was certain. He took a look around, which turned out to mean "up and to both sides", as his mind seemed to have misplaced a dimension somewhere during its transition into the dream or coma or whatever bizarre mental illness he seemed to have acquired to allow him to perceive a flat world from the inside. The title card, though hardly the strangest thing about his situation, was difficult not to notice.

HERO SWORD VI
Collector’s Edition

"Am I inside a video game?" he silently spoke, a scrolling text box audibly popping into existence above his head to transcribe the words he had just uttered. It disappeared just as suddenly two seconds after completing the sentence.

Placing a poorly detailed hand-analogue to where his chin would have been, were his head not a simplified and excessively large low-resolution caricature of an actual human's, he considered his options, starting with the options playfully floating above his balloonish countenance.

CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT

Simple enough, but his first thought was to test his limits instead. He appeared to be in control of himself, which was preferable to the alternative, but his ability to interact with the world was disappointing. He could move, in a manner that felt like running even though his legs could only shift instantaneously between three positions, and he could jump, effortlessly up to around five times his height but not a single centimeter higher, but it was impossible to escape the floating words, as staring into the "distance" simply revealed another instance of the same words, and another instance of himself which was likely staring at the back of a third instance of both, and so on to assumed infinity. Around the fifth time he had passed under an identical list of floating options without making any progress whatsoever on overtaking his closest doppelganger, he resigned himself to staring up at the written options he was undoubtedly expected to choose from.

"Help and options", he said. The text box helpfully reappeared to give voice to his command, but the menu was unfazed. He jumped, but could not reach the letters - nor the text box, which mimicked his movement to remain perfectly above his head. He cursed, and a mash of symbols filled the text box to simultaneously acknowledge and sensor his profanity.

"Quit" seemed the obvious choice if he intended to escape, and it lay at a tempting height, but David hesitated. He had no guarantee that his world - or indeed, any world at all - lay beyond the end of this one, and though he feared for his safety going forwards, he was curious about just how far he could explore his surroundings without a menu holding him back. If he didn't like what he saw, he reasoned, it was a video game and the quit button would likely always be available somewhere. He pressed "New game" instead - quite literally, with whatever his hand had become.

The world, and his hand, disappeared. Only the former returned, fading in from darkness to reveal the interior of a cave, but with it came the much-coveted third dimension, and though David no longer seemed to possess a body, his ability to orient himself finally approached something resembling normal. He could even feel a light breeze on his skin, which itself felt bare, and the strangely empty brushing of an invisible loincloth apparently positioned to preserve his invisible modesty. He stepped forwards - slower but far more smoothly - but found his progress halted by yet another menu.

ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?

The options scrolled to near-infinity in clear defiance of the prompt above. Rather than risk losing himself in the sea of choices, David flung the bar to the very top and hovered his finger over "Boy", before scoffing and muttering jokingly to himself, "What if I'm already a man?"

The prompt automatically jumped to an option some two-thirds down the massive list which simply read, "MAN". Impressed, he pushed it, and was startled at once by the sudden improvement to his surroundings - and to his manhood, he bashfully noted. Fortunately, he remained invisible, though the cave had become far brighter and more detailed than before. He checked the wall at his back, just to be certain, but the features of the rock surface were only notable for having become features, so he moved forwards again.

CHOOSE YOUR RACE

This one caused David to pause. It promised to be significant to the game itself, as the preposterous number of statistics suggested, and if it were a choice of what body he would possess, it was not one to be made lightly. Thus, and in spite of his patience, he began to scan the daunting list from top to bottom, quickly learning to skip a rapidly increasing category of what he deemed "nonessential stats" on each page. The list began predictably enough, with humans, elves, dwarves, and a dozen different variations of the same basic "person" shape with slightly altered features and proportions, but David ran out of interest long before he ran out of half-somethings, and added "nonessential races" to his imaginary filter to save time as he scrolled. It didn't take long after that before he struck gold.

Cheetah-men, rat-men, piranha-men. There were more beast races than he even knew species of beasts, and that itself was only the beginning. Limbs seemed optional - some races lacked two legs, others had eight, some had multiple heads, and he could have sworn that he passed by a sentient slime with no discernible anatomy whatsoever at one point. It was like the game had opened up its entire repertoire of monsters and made them available as fully-realized character options, even going so far to describe in detail their relationships with other races. As expected, most were strongly at odds with humans and the rest of civilized society.

David grinned and looked back over the list. He had nothing against humans, but he preferred fighting for the underdog and knew he would feel guilty for not taking full advantage of the variety on offer. One race in particular stood out to him.

GNOLL
"These savage, hyena-headed humanoids are known for their brutality and carnivorous appetites. Countless peaceful settlements have been razed and looted by skirmishing bands of gnolls, leaving their inhabitants to be devoured, enslaved, or sacrificed to the creatures' demonic masters."

Perfection, he thought to himself. Strong, fast, exceptionally hardy... lacking in intelligence and particularly discipline, but so long as he remained himself, these were merely numbers that couldn't affect his actual behaviour - or so he hoped. It was a gamble, but he always did have a certain love for monsters and tended to enjoy playing as evil characters in games, if not only because they had the most freedom to do what they wished and rarely if ever faced realistic consequences for their actions. Playing nice, he reasoned, was a waste of effort when one's opponent was a machine without feelings to hurt; better to brazenly rob every house in sight (a curiously tolerated crime in his experience) and slaughter the town militia if it meant gaining an advantage faster or more easily than one could by obeying the "rules".

He confirmed his choice and the world changed again, further approaching realism as he knew it. His body changed as well - his perspective felt much higher, and his center of balance underwent a sudden and disorienting shift as his heels effectively disappeared, having been replaced by two large digitigrade paws. His eyesight became more acute, a brown and black muzzle jutted out from his face, and beyond it at long last, he could see his hands. His large, fuzzy, man-crushing clawed hands. With a grin far wider and toothier than he had ever before been capable of, he clenched them tight. They felt dangerous.

Growing more excited by the second, David took a short while to get used to walking on his new feet before he stepped forwards again. The entire experience was new to him, but also very, very familiar. He knew video games. He dedicated himself to breaking video games. If he couldn't devise some method to cheat his way to ultimate power and trivialize every challenge this world could throw at him, he would consider it a personal failing of the highest degree. The next prompt tempted him to do so even more than the last.

CHOOSE YOUR CLASS

He scrolled through the options, and frowned. As before, there was a maddening number of choices, and this was a promising sign that there must have been at least a few highly unbalanced gems among it, but the details were so frustratingly vague as to make telling one apart from its peers impossible. A written description of each class's capabilities was all well and good, but there were no skill lists, no specialization trees, no numbers that he could throttle and twist into something truly, magnificently abominable. He skimmed through the list for several minutes, finding nothing at all he could satisfactorily abuse, until giving up and searching instead for something that merely sounded like it would suit his preferences and still play to his strengths.

Wizards and their derivatives were right out. He would miss the versatility of magic, but they were too weak elsewhere and his race could hardly be less suited to the job. Fighters and barbarians... played to his strength, but as much as he loved solving his problems with violence, he knew too little about the game to justify such a limited skillset. Rogue was pointless - he wouldn't need a subtle approach to crime, and healing classes were always a coin toss between being a tireless, invincible god of combat and a useless ornament that relied entirely on the support of allies he couldn't count on having. He needed something stranger... and then he found it.

DIABOLIST
"A versatile master of forbidden magic, the diabolist requires neither training nor study to wield her dark power, merely sacrifice and the constitution to survive her own reckless sacraments."

The expanded description promised more; with poor armor options but impressive hit points, a diabolist was built to fight up close and turn damage inflicted on itself, often by itself, to its advantage. It could summon expendable minions, steal life from its enemies (and allies, he gleefully noted), blast groups or focus on single targets comfortably... he tried to find some kind of catch, but there was nothing. No weakness the class couldn't overcome at the cost of some vaguely defined price. It even fit his race, which was not particularly surprising given the theme, but it did validate his opinion that evil was simply the best way to "win" any game that allowed for it. He skimmed through a few hundred other classes just to be certain he wasn't missing something even better, reached "Cheesewright" without being impressed, and returned to where he had begun. Diabolist it was.

Clothing appeared over his body - a dark, tattered robe that clung loosely to his massive figure and reached nearly to the ground, topped by a spiked, semi-circular collar that felt like it was crafted from sharpened bones. Sinister totems hung from hooked straps along his waist, as did the sheath of a wickedly curved knife, which he drew out of curiosity. It was so dull that he could have gripped it blade-first without risking injury to himself. Typical.

Another step brought him to a prompt that allowed him to alter his appearance with a window that acted like a mirror, but without the grounding physicality of an actual pane of glass in front of him. David nearly jumped at the first sight of his "reflection". He was terrifying, and the realism only made things worse. Were it not for his own disarming expression, he could have honestly believed he was staring at an actual monster. He made a couple of faces at himself to be sure it was really him, and then in one of the most surreal experiences he'd underwent since this strange dream began, made his actual face. It took a while to get used to and he had to navigate through more styles of mohawk than any sane person should have ever needed, but by the end of it he was quite into it all, practicing predatory grins and applying war paint with confidence. Once he was sure he could send a grown man fleeing with a glance, he was ready to move on.

IS THIS INFORMATION CORRECT?

Yes. Absolutely. The thought of revisiting those lists made him shudder, and really, who wouldn't want to try being a gnoll just once?

YOU MUST CHOOSE A NAME

He hesitated for a moment. "David" was hardly fitting, and while he didn't particularly care what a bunch of NPCs called him, even such a trifling thing felt worth some thought if he was going to literally be the character of his own creation. After thinking and rethinking a few ideas, he said it aloud.

"Yiathahak." As he anticipated, his voice was completely foreign to him, but he had chosen well - he could pronounce the strange word with ease, and it sounded natural coming from the mouth of an imposing hyena-man. Undaunted, the prompt took his vocalization as an answer, and one confirmation later he could see his freedom at long last.

A bright flash blinded him before his eyes even had the opportunity to adjust, and... he found himself in yet another cave. This time, his exit was visibly blocked by a red screen where three others - a dwarf, human, and some off-colour mostly-human he'd likely skipped over the stats of - seemed to have gathered. He stepped forwards to tower over the group from behind, and was about to speak when he noticed the text above the barrier. It spared him the need to ask any questions, and so he did as it suggested - he waited, whether for the barrier to disappear or someone else to speak up. Idly, he both hoped he wouldn't be mistaken for an enemy despite looking so obviously evil, and wondered what would happen if a fight broke out in the waiting room. Best not to be the aggressor, he figured.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2015 8:22 pm 
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HERO SWORD Vl
Collector's Edition


Mat craned his neck as he stared up at the giant, golden letters floating lazily above him. Collectors Edition? Mat didn't remember paying for a collectors edition. As he contemplated this weird turn of events a mischievous grin spread across his face. If they wanted to give him the collectors edition who was he to complain. A sudden thought struck him. Being sucked into the game must have been a feature of the collectors edition. Letting out a sigh of relief Mat looked down at his strange new body. Maybe this strange feature explained the lack of decent graphics. Frowning Mat swung his arms up and down wildly, it was quite strange to lack elbows. As he swung his arms about wildly the screen shifted suddenly revealing new options.

CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT

Mat stared up at the options before him for perhaps a bit longer than he should have, but how in the hell was he supposed to select something. Mat shrugged, or rather he tried to shrug, and reached out and touched the Downloadable Content option. The world seemed to shift again and suddenly he was met with new options.

DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
Be The Villain
(You can be the bad guy, kidnap the princess and ransom her for a kingdom or just watch the world burn, either way you get to kick small children so... Huzzah!)


The Village of Constables
(Ever wonder where all the town guards come from? Well wonder no longer, learn all about constables and their mysterious village as you play one on his journey through life from child to full fledged constable.)

S̸͉͔̯̖͓̞̗̬̘̣͝͡͠k̷̰̼̱̱͕̲͖̼̯̺͖̠͘͠͠ỳ̴̴̪͚̗̮̲̩͔ ̴̝͔̟͕͈̮̖̫̜̫͙̻̬͇̀͝C̨̀̀͞҉̻̠͍̦̱͎a҉͚̟̹͚͙͔͚͖̗̹̻̲̖̹̭̙͓͜͞ͅs͏̛͡͏̥͕̣͈̠̘̦͇͖t̡̤̹͓͓̣̭͖͍͇̼͍̮͖͘͠ĺ̼̩̺̣͖̣̖̪͚̕ȩ͖̻̣͙̭͈͍̥̟̳͇̼̤̫͍͚͎̟́͢͞ͅ
(For those who love the finer things.)

Build-a-Town Workshop
(Because those who cant adventure, build.)

Surprise
(Click me and find out ;3)


Mat stared up at the options hanging in the air above him. Odd one of them looked like it had made its way through a blender and been pasted back in place. After once again staring at the strange floating menu in front of him for far to long Mat stepped forward and stuck out his hand to press the Surprise button. He liked surprises. As his strange arm touched the word a loud maniacal laughter rang out around him. Mat looked around but could not find the source. The world shifted around him as the laughter faded and before him stood the original start menu.

CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT


Feeling very confused and quite annoyed Mat once again shrugged, or rather he tried to.

"Ahh, screw it I just want to kill stuff." Mat grumbled as he stepped up and touched the New Game button. Nothing happened. Mat touched it again and again nothing happened. Growing angry Mat started hitting the floating letters furiously. Suddenly everything seemed to lurch and the world shifted before him a new menu popping up.

ARE YOU A B-

Suddenly the menu froze and disappeared replaced by a new one.

CHOOSE YOUR RA-

Again the menu froze and before he had a chance it changed. Mat growled in anger as the menus flew past him.

"Damn't what did I get?!"

CHOOS-

Once again the menu disappeared before Mat had a chance to do anything this time the new one actually solidified.

ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR CHOICE?

YES
NO


"Hell no!" Mat yelled out as he pressed against the no. As he pressed it the world shifted and presented him with the next menu.

ARE YOU SURE?

YES
NO



"God damn't! I just want to be a warrior and kill stuff!" Mat yelled and pressed the yes. Suddenly everything went black. Slowly the world resolved round him once more but this time with much better graphics. Groaning Mat looked around at the large, it was rather larger than it should be, cave. As he looked around he noticed something odd, there was something in front of his face. Reaching up a hand Mat touched the strange object it was large and rotund and... Had teeth! It took a few more seconds of stunned groping to realize he had a snout. Realizing this made Mat take a closer look at his hands they were scaled and had sharp little claws on the finger tips. It took Mat a few moments of mentally freaking out over his new body before he realized there were other people in the cave. Mat started walking towards the people but stopped after only two steps. Sighing Mat took another step and winced as a bloop sound accompanied his step.

"Well if Bloop doesn't say terrifying warrior I don't know what does." Mat grumbled and walked up to the other people, rather large people, or was he just small. Each step he took was accompanied by another bloop sound much to Mats dismay. Stopping in front of the group Mat waved one of his tiny arms and tried to smile though anyone looking would only see him barring his teeth.

"So how are all of you?" To them Mat would look like a 3 foot tall anthropomorphic chibi-aligator wearing light armor in black and grey with a dagger on his side. Above his head hung his name Hell No.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 5:16 am 
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What the **** is this?

HERO SWORD VI
Collector’s Edition


Amber narrowed her eyes at the golden words that hovered in the air. She could have really cared less about all this, but she was greatly disturbed with the form of her body. Everything was not only 2D, but she was also 8-bit and she felt like an idiot as her arms were bent in an 90 degree angle, and she saw that she clearly had no fingers. She didn't need to jump to know how she would look, and what stupid sound would come out. If she was apart of some ****ing up fantasy version of mario, she was going to not only murder someone, she'll murder the idiot that made this game. Who makes a 6th game in ****ing 2D? They have no right to live.

Another thought crossed Amber's mind and her lips curled into a mean smile, or would have if her 8-bit self had a mouth. She shook her head, or would have if- she just went back to happier thoughts of murdering the idiot princess that's always stupid enough to get her lazy ass kidnapped. Girls like that always **** Amber off, they're so pathetic. There, Amber felt a little better at the thought and tried to relax a bit.

Looking back up at the floating words, she lowered her eyes at the menu.

CONTINUE
HELP AND OPTIONS
NEW GAME
LOAD GAME
DOWNLOADABLE CONTENT
QUIT


Her eyes traded between the downloadable content, and new game. She had to admit that she was curious about the downloadable content, but she refused the idea of jumping more then once. She cringed at the thought. Preparing herself she imagined what she needed to do to get to the new game. She was going to jump only once and get it right. Taking a breath she jumped using all her patience to ignore the "Boing" sound and she used her stupid hand to smack the new game.

The world around her shifted into shadows before turning into what seemed to be the interior of a cave. Although the graphics improved and Amber could now stand comfortably and normally with a hand on her hip and her weight shifted to one side, she scoffed unimpressed. A breeze kissed her exposed skin and even if the game wasn't allowing her to see herself, for even if she brought her hand before her eyes she seemed invisible, she felt what was probably a loincloth between her legs. She ripped the cloth from her skin not caring that she was now completely naked, getting rid of the grubby cloth was an improvement. At ease she moved forward.

Letters popped up before her and she halted in her steps.

ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?


Amber casually scrolled down the options until she found Woman. She tapped the word with a light touch. The area around her shifted if yet again for the better, the features of the cave becoming clearer less boxy. Amber touched her chest to see if she had a nice set. She frowned at the results, they were decent. There better be a features option.

CHOOSE YOUR RACE


Amber went straight to human. She would have liked to check the other races but she was getting bored and wanted to get through this already.

CHOOSE YOUR CLASS


Her hand paused a few inches away from scrolling the options and instead went to her chin as she started to think on this. A smile curved her lips as she went back to scrolling the options and found what she was looking for. Dark Knight. A knight who is not only deadly with a sword in hand, but also a wielder of dark magic, as oppose to Paladins or Holy Knights. Physical status are all high with the exception to defense. Amber continued to read the rest about a Dark Knight and her smile only widened with pleasure. She tapped the class. A slight flash happened as clothes and armor appeared on her. She had simple set of a chest plate, shoulder pads, gauntlets, and leather boots. All faded black and in dire need of some polishing. A sword rested on her hip but when she took it out, it was another pathetic sight, the blade was poorly made, flimsy, and light. Amber will need to work quickly if she wanted to work on looking deadly, let alone presentable. Sheathing her sword, she turned back to the text before her.

It wasn't an option but before her was a mirror, she could alter her features thank god! Her figure actually wasn't as bad as she thought, so she left it the way it was. She gave herself an oval shaped head, a small nose, full lips, and wide black eyes. Her hair, she took extra care of the color after she made it shoulder length. Moving the scroll to get to a shade of red, Amber's mouth twisted in displeasure as she toned the red to a darker shade. She smiled satisfied to have her hair the similar dark shade of blood. Pressing the finish, all her choices appeared and then a question at the top.

IS THIS INFORMATION CORRECT?


Everything's perfect, well as close to perfect for now.

YOU MUST CHOOSE A NAME


Ever since she caught on to all of this she knew the name she wanted. She entered Eris.

Pressing enter a blinding light filled the room and Amber narrowed her eyes against the brightness until it all subsided and she saw. . . . what she assumed were other people before her. She regarded each one. A dwarf? Ugh. Rogue, they might as well be vampires seeing how pale this kid is. Gnoll, interesting choice. And uh, what the **** is that? She stared down at the three foot freak dressed in armor, it looked like some mini dinosaur gone wrong. Amber's face twisted with clear disgust at the creature before she looked at the next blue freak. She shook her head and made a tsk sound, not at all impressed with those before her. Her impression of them only soured when she looked at their names. The only one she liked was the GentleRibcrusher, doesn't exactly strike fear at first and even though the name belonged to the dwarf it caused the edge of Amber's mouth to twitch into a smirk.

Looking back to the rogue kid Amber spoke up, "You do realize you have ASS in your name."

Shaking her head again, she walked past the group and leaned against the wall, hands behind her back and a knee propped out. She'll just have to see what happens next.


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View Likes PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 3:28 pm 
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Lift the rock.
The rock didn't move.
Telekinesis on the rock.
The jagged, fist-sized rock continued taunting him with its immovability.
Run telekinesis dot exe, target: rock.
"Nyeh!" said the imps outside and the rock still did not move.

Saerimnir the Infinite sighed. He was not sure if it was due to using the telekinetic powers that he may or may not have, but he felt slightly drained. Maybe he had expended power points or wasted mana, and was feeling the effect, or maybe it was just from starring intensely at a fixed point for several minutes.

If he did not figure out what he could actually do then he would have to fight using the wooden stick he had been equipped with as a standard weapon. He lifted it, tried to give it a good swing to test how strong his new body was, and the stick flew out between his fingers.
It was not something he had noticed when he first looked at the Dust-Born profile picture, but his new race has seven fingers on each hand, and it did indeed drop his dexterity to the category: "clumsy". In his mind he still had five fingers, controlling the extra two was... creepy. They did not feel like they belonged there and he had to focus to move them. He imagined this was what phantom limbs were like, only in reverse.
In addition, the fingers were longer and thinner than on his real-world body, so every movement that was instinctual was also wrong. He had tried slapping his forehead earlier when he could not move the rock, and instead poked himself in the eye with one of the extra fingers.

Saerimnir did find the Dust-Born race cool-looking in an alien way. His skin color had gone from a pasty German to split down the middle. Golden on his right side, dark-blue on his left. Batman's Two-Face would kill for this racial choice.
The Dust-Born race looked tall without being it. His new body had gangly limbs that seemed stretched, and the joints were shifted just a little compared to where his human counterparts met. His upper arm was proportionally shorter and the forearm similarly longer. Same for the legs. Moving was weird. Nothing hit where he instinctively thought it would. If he could not learn to fling the rock or rely on the other players, whom he sincerely hoped would join, he would have to flee, and Saerimnir was not sure he even could do that. Every step felt wrong, had to be deliberate. Pretty much by definition running had to be fast. He would stumble over in five steps.

Rock, attack. Ascend. Elevate!

"Hi," said GentleRibcrusher, a dwarf of indeterminate, albeit unnerving, gender, and Saerimnir jumped into the air with a start, and to his joy, the rock gently lifted with him in a soft arc across his head, landed near GentleRibcrusher, bounced off the ground and hit her knee.
Despite the shock and the intimidating dwarf, Saerimnir could not stop smiling. He had lifted a rock with his mind. He had powers. Well, he had at least a power. He was a psion after all! The laws of physics were his ****ing! And the world was his oyster’s ****ing!

His smile felt a little bit too wide. Actually a lot too wide, like his otherwise normal-sized mouth retracted and split his face from literally ear to ear.
"Heeeeh," the voice just slipped out and he had to try again: "Hello." He tried to feel his own face. His teeth felt too big. Too many of them. He could trace his teeth around his head. Too long. They had not felt so long before. "Are... are you human? I mean... real life?" It took serious effort to get his smile down. Especially once the next "player" entered, Assguardian. Assguardian! It was uncomfortable smiling like this, but that was too funny. It was worse laughing; his head felt like it split open down the jaw line in the laugh. He could not stop laughing at the newcomer’s name, but he also could not help feeling like a South Park Canadian, the thought of which somehow did nothing to end his laughter. It would take something incredibly scary to kill the smile now.

A gnoll joined the game.
It smiled.
Saerimnir stopped smiling.

The gnoll just stood there, looking more fearsome than any beast Saerimnir had ever seen. He had seen a tiger throw itself against the glass barrier of a zoo, roaring on its hind legs, and this gnoll just standing passively was worse.
It’s another player, said his inner nerd, which now also functioned as his voice of reason, apparently. Look, he even has a player name. Come on, man, you chose a weird race. This is just some guy who chose a gnoll. Stop being scared and greet him!
“Nyeh!” said the imps as Saerimnir opened his mouth. He looked behind him, trying not to take his eyes off the gnolls. The red barrier was down. It was only then he saw two more had joined the game, a weird little shark… lizard… thing. It was almost adorable, although Saerimnir still did not smile.
Hell No is a terrible name for our franchise’s Pikachu, commented his inner nerd, who seemed to be confused just what being the voice of reason entailed. Another part of him chimed: You need more inner voices. All good psions have at least four.

The other was human, some sort of knight in not-so-shining armor, apparently. Eris; that was a nice name. By far the most normal of the players. Maybe she was a fighter or a paladin. Someone sane he could lean on. Someone who could protect him from the terrible imps that were approaching hunched over and shouting nothing but “Nyeh! Nyeh!”.
Saerimnir had been the first to enter this final cave, and had wandered around trying to unleash his psionic might. As a result he was closer to the red barrier than anyone else, and he was not a front-liner, less so without any powers! So Saerimnir the Infinite turned and ran, got five steps and stumbled on his weird legs. He fell in the way of GentleRibCrusher, rolled on the ground ungracefully and hurt. A lot. This was the prize of choosing a spindly body. Should have been a gnoll.

Telekinesis. Target: self. Levitate.
Nothing happened, so he had to get up the old-fashioned way. One of the imps was going around GentleRibCrusher, moving by way of… bunny hops. It was wearing a little miner’s helmet and carried a pickaxe.
Little ability to flee, armed with only a stick. Saerimnir had the advantage of reach and the little creature did not seem like it would be able to swing the pickaxe with any great speed, but it was still a pickaxe! This was dangerous!
“Nyeh” the creature said, and Saerimnir lashed out with his long, spindly arm and slapped it on the side of the head with the stick.
“Nyeh!” it shouted, hopefully in pain, and swung its axe at Saerimnir, who dodged by way of simply being out of reach. Also, he did some weird maneuver that looked uncannily like stumbling around and trying to regain balance on legs that were too long.
Saerimnir slapped the imp again. It nyeh’ed. He hit its wrist and it still did not fall down. In his mind, something was complaining that a low-level encounter like this should die even to the flimsiest hits but this beast seemed only mildly annoyed. This horrid, dumb… weird… creature should be dead!

The stone flew from the ground; hit the imp hard in the face, and drew blood from its eye. Saerimnir looked with a mixture of pride at being able to move things with his mind, and shock at having seriously injured another creature. The stone kept flying, turned about like a boomerang and hit the imp a second time in the back of the head and it finally fell over. Saerimnir wasted no time kicking the pickaxe away, almost falling over as he lost balance. Apart from a slight headache, he had managed to survive his first battle ever, provided the other places were doing their parts and not leaving him to fend off more terror imps. And honestly, they could not be doing worse than he had.

_________________
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2015 1:20 pm 

It is a hollow shell of what it once was.

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Roger stared, mouth open, at the giant hyena-man. It was both giant, and also had the head of a hyena. He didn't know if it was a friend or an enemy, but then again, if it was an enemy it wouldn't just be standing there. It would be probably be using Roger's butter knife to pick the leftover bits of its former owner out of its teeth, by now.

It wasn't until another newcomer approached that the rogue managed to string some words together.

"I'm good. Thanks for asking… Hell No."

The words sounded strange in his head, but he hoped they made sense to those who heard them. It was the small reptile-thing's name, after all. It probably carried some kind of meaning, he was sure of that much. Just like his own name.

The next entrant was clad in plate armor and had the name Eris floating above her head. She also had dark red hair and something of an attitude problem based on the way she asked him about his name.

"Well yeah," Roger replied, watching her closely, unsure of what her point was. "Of course it has 'Ass' in it. My character hails from Assguard. Which makes him an Assguardian."

He regarded her for a moment, before smiling sympathetically. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. If you wanna learn about the ancient Assguardians, I can always teach you. "

The barrier disappeared and the imps came barreling (and hopping) forward at impish speeds, hunched over and shouting the same war cry over and over again.

"Nyeh!" they shouted.

"Agh!" Roger yelled back, his conversation forgotten as he quickly began backpedalling. He drew his butter knife, which didn't even gleam properly in the light streaming into the cave from the world outside, and turned to regard the giant hyena-person again. Perhaps he could hide behind him. Or maybe climb on top of his shoulders? But then again it didn't seem like the type of person (was it a person, though?) that would be okay with something like that. In any case he wasn't going to risk it.

Two imps approached him, one to either side, and Roger's backpedaling continued. In spite of their diminutive size, the pickaxes they wielded looked much deadlier than his own pathetic weapon ("Nyeh!").

The knife in his hand wasn't going to cut it - the irony of the thought hit him a second later and he found himself stifling a hysterical guffaw of crazed laughter as his foot landed on something that wasn't solid ground; he slipped, nearly falling right onto his backside as the loose stone skittered out ahead of him, coming to a stop a few feet behind the advancing imps. Text similar to what he'd seen upon starting the game, albeit smaller, floated in the air for a moment before fading away entirely. He managed to quickly skim the words before they vanished, but his attention was mainly focused on what was happening in front of him.

'DISTRACT' - 80% success rate against lower leveled, low intelligence enemies


Both imps stopped and turned, seeking out the source of the sound, giving Roger enough time to stand up again. Evidently the things were incredibly dimwitted in addition to being small; in any case, he saw his chance.

With no hesitation he charged forward and plunged the butter knife into one of the creatures' backs, as only a rogue could do. And then it happened.

He felt it. He'd just stabbed a living thing. He felt the resistance on the other side of the blade, felt the vibrations of the pained scream it emitted, and he felt it drop forward, its tiny body leaving the metal behind to slap lifelessly against the ground. This was all supposed to be a game, nothing more, and yet what he'd just done felt like something quite different. It felt real.

More than that, something else was happening to him - it was as if the one attack had sapped him of all his energy. His head grew foggy, his vision blurred and his knees nearly buckled as he grabbed a nearby wall in order to stay on his feet.

'BACKSTAB' - 150% damage against distracted enemies. Costs 93.5% stamina at current level


The other imp turned around and rushed towards him, pickaxe raised, clearly ready to incite its vengeance upon him ("Nyeh!"). Roger could only look on, swaying slightly where he stood, completely unable to defend himself.

_________________
Learning a simple lesson isn't always simple. Sometimes, you have to slowly lose everything great around you to understand the gravity of your shortcomings. Admit that your egos have grown too large, that you've lost your sense of what you realistically are, and maybe you can repair the road that has broken beneath the weight of your failings. Or maybe you'll just keep going as you've gone, and you'll learn nothing, and eventually, everything around you will become dust. To be honest, that's by far the likeliest of all outcomes.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 1:06 am 
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"Nyeh!" Hell No looked up at the imps as they rushed past where the red barrier used to be. With a grin Hell No pulled out his small sword, strange that it would look so much like a dagger, and charged forward with his own war cry.

"I'm a warrior damn't!" He raised his strangely dagger like sword high in the air and charged about 5 steps before falling flat on his face. Hell No watched in annoyance as the floor came rushing towards his face. As Mats face was about to collide with the ground everything suddenly went dark for a moment and the next thing he knew he was looking down at the floor again except he was much higher up this time. Hell No felt the wind against his face as he fell towards the ground strangely there was an imp directly under him.

"I'm a warrior!" He yelled and raised his dagger like sword the imp looked up just in time for Hell No to crash into him both of them falling to the floor in a heap. With a groan he pushed himself off of the imp and to his feet slowly a message popping up above his head.

Achievement Gained

A symbol of a Dagger hanging over a monsters head was hovering above some smallish golden letters.

"Death from above: Your many hours of labor and hard work has given you the skills to attack and kill things from above. Good job."

Dusting himself off he noticed that his sword was missing. Looking around for his sword Hell No noticed that Assguardian was sitting near by. Picking up the nearby pickaxe Hell No waved at Assguardian and started waddling off towards the rest of the imps. With a grin he hefted the pick axe in his hands.

"Ahh this is more like it. Kinda heavy though. Much better than the sword I had." Hell No raised the pickaxe high and ran towards the nearest imp. Once again he tripped this time as he fell the pickaxe came down with him and buried itself in the imps skull. With a triumphant grin Hell No hollered.

"Hell yeah!." Feeling invincible Hell No pushed himself to his feet and grabbed onto the pickaxe handle and gave it a strong tug, but it refused to come out of the imps head. Placing one of his tiny feet on top of the imps head he gave it another tug, once again it refused to budge. Letting out a growl Hell No let go of it and looked around a bit before noticing another pickaxe lying on the ground. With a triumphant laugh he reached down grabbing the new weapon and looked around for the next enemy.

"Who's next!" Hell No yelled out looking for another thing to kill.


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View Likes PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2015 4:20 am 
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Yiathahak's arrival seemed to draw some attention from the other players. Fear, or at least the sort of caution that made one stare apprehensively at a man for much longer than he would normally be comfortable with, was the overall mood of the room, which he found far more amusing than he really should have. When the lanky blue-and-gold person - Saerimnir, his hovering nameplate read - subconsciously shrank back at the sight of him, he couldn't help but flash a toothy grin in reply and chuckle a bit to himself. Much like an actual hyena's laugh, the sound was hardly reassuring.

Two others joined soon afterwards, and both caught his interest. Eris was another human, which was not particularly remarkable, but she way that she carried herself so confidently suggested to him that she might have had past experience with the game. "Hell No", on the other hand, looked more amusing than useful. He must have been small and squat even by the dwarf's standards, but to Yiathahak who stood over eight feet tall, the effect was exaggerated well beyond that, and it was unlikely that anything short of lying prone would bring the two of them face-to-face.

The gnoll's ears twitched involuntarily as they picked up the middle of a brief conversation about the "ancient Assguardians", which was cut short by a vicious "Nyeh!" and the sound of movement approaching from the cave entrance. The barrier had come down, and imps began to pour into the room in great number, menacing its residents with pickaxes and tiny pairs of fangs, neither of which struck Yiathahak as particularly menacing. Saerimnir and the Assguardian, however, simultaneously began a clumsy half-retreat to the back of the cave, both managing to trip themselves in different ways almost immediately. Rather than join them, Yiathahak stepped forwards - and nearly lost his own balance as he brought one of his thick pawed feet down upon the chest of an advancing imp, pinning it to the floor and sliding it along with his leg a good few inches further than he had intended either to stop.

For a brief moment, he hesitated. Although the pads on the soles of his feet were hardly sensitive, he could still feel the creature struggling and gasping for breath beneath him. He didn't ponder the thought for long, especially since the tiny thing had charged a plainly superior foe with absolutely no regard for its own safety, but it nonetheless struck him as strangely realistic. He knew he was in a video game - he even possessed a subconscious awareness of how injured the imp was - so what purpose did its pitiful behavior serve? Was it only there to sell the premise of it being a weak enemy? He was about to step off of it until the thing raised its miniature pickaxe into the air, intent on freeing itself at the expense of his leg, and with a grunt he shifted his weight forwards instead, pressing the entirety of it down upon the imp's chest. It gave off a high-pitched screech, strained in futility for a fraction of a second, then fell limp.

...Sure enough, it felt for all the world like killing an actual animal. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the act disturbed David more than he was expecting, but also far less than he thought it should have - instead of disgust he felt... excitement. It was likely adrenaline which caused him to immediately search for the next threat, but he didn't have to look far. Imps had flooded into the cavern and all but surrounded him and the others, filling the enclosed space with the echoing of a dozen Nyehs even as their numbers were rapidly culled by attacks both desperate and occasionally even intentional. The gnoll didn't register the toothy grin spreading across his own face as he drew his knife, but two of his opponents hopped forwards all the same, undaunted by the sight of a foe easily more than four times their size.

To his regret, the difficulty of striking a foe less than a quarter one's size quickly became embarrassingly clear to Yiathahak. His sense of balance was poor enough on a new pair of legs, but to even bring his arms within reach required him to bend downwards and assault the creatures with wide, awkward swings of his weapon. His aim and stability were hindered badly by such a position, and he only managed to land one solid hit before accidentally toppling over onto his side. The unfortunate imp was sent flying across the room without so much as a shallow cut from the bladed "edge" of his knife, belted out a defiant "Nyeh!" as it soared over the heads of its brethren, hit the wall with a soft thud, and finally landed dazed with its stomach to the floor. Yiathahak was harmed far more by his own landing - he yelped as a muted pain stung his right shoulder upon impact, and while he struggled to stand upright, a new pair of imps saw fit to try and dig into his backside with their weapons. One missed and found its pickaxe caught on his robes, while the other was only strong enough to inflict a shallow wound in the gnoll's thick hide.

Surprising himself more than anyone else, Yiathahak snarled rather than give in to panic. The instant he felt the strike against his back, he rolled over and brought a fist down upon the imp responsible, knocking it against the floor. When it continued to move, he clenched his claws tight over its head and rolled backwards, slamming it down harder still on the backswing. Though it did not act afterwards, he was once again aware that the creature was not yet fatally injured, so he used his spare hand to retrieve his knife from the floor and stabbed it straight through the chest, finally ending its struggle.

This time, he felt more than just excited - he felt powerful. Though the sudden movement had only made things worse for his injured arm, and he somehow knew that he was still just as hurt without the need to even check, the pain from both of his wounds had become little more than a numb tingling sensation. Moreover, he could tell that he had become capable of... something. He couldn't place whether it came from killing the imp or being harmed by it, but the power he felt was quite literal, and if nothing else he was certain that it could be released.

With a low grumble, Yiathahak pressed against the floor and slowly rose to his feet. Underneath him he noticed the body of a third imp, crushed by his earlier fall, as well as its weapon which lay embedded head-first into the flesh of his shoulder. It didn't seem important in the moment, so he left it where it was. He paid even less mind to the fourth imp, now clinging to the spikes on his collar, as he took stock of his surroundings. There were no more reinforcements arriving that he could see, and the few remaining enemies were too busy with his alleged companions to give him any attention. He didn't particularly care - raising his damaged right arm towards the first one he saw that wasn't dangerously close to an ally of his, Yiathahak fixed it with an intense stare and imagined its destruction.

Nothing happened for a moment, but gradually, a faint crimson glow lit up the palm of his outstretched hand. Dark smoke began to drift between his fingers, thickening as time passed on, until the entire spell ignited without warning in a brilliant flash of red and streaked outwards like a screaming rocket. The point of impact kicked up a small amount of dust, but as it settled, all that remained was a dented miner's helmet and a long scorch mark on the stone floor.

To Yiathahak, if no one else, the room seemed to fall silent as he stared at the damage. It was only a few seconds later that he noticed how the shrill, cackling laughter which eventually broke it was coming from his own mouth.


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View Likes PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2015 3:21 pm 

eye of newt, tail of newt... rest of newt...

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GentleRibCrusher's eyes followed the pathetic curve of the rock, and watched with dismay as the tiniest sliver of her red health bar disappeared. Attempting team killing already? Well, two can play that game! However, even with her burning desire of vengeance, putting her rusty axe through his skull right as they were about to face a horde of adorable imps did not seem the best course of action.

"Are... are you human? I mean... real life?"

"Who knows," GentleRibCrusher answered Saerimnir absentmindedly. She was far too busy jumping from one leg to another at the appearance of the giant hyena thing. It was adorable! So many teeth! And it was smiling! She couldn't stop an 'aww' noise from escaping her. What a wonderful addition to this doomed team. The microscopic dinosaur that chose to appear afterwards, on the other hand, seemed pretty useless, kinda like a puppy. As did the dude with the goatee. Another surge of burning rage against his pitiful beard rose up in her. It was nothing like her beautifully braided, bright red 'stache. She certainly outdid them all in terms of facial hair, and that alone, in her mind, was enough to make her the coolest one. Maybe with the exception of the gnoll, because teeth.

An alarming flash of light made her suddenly aware that the barrier had broken down. Her heart sank as she saw the sheer amount of imps. It was like Helm's Deep, but for toddlers. Well, nothing fancy for her to do. She was a fighter, and that meant one thing: diving headfirst into disaster. With a vague, yet menacing shriek of fury, she lifted her axe above her head and charged at the imps. Unfortunately, Saerimnir chose to roll in front of her.

"Get out of the way, you bloody useless mage!" She howled as she swung her axe down at the imp in front of them. It jumped deftly to the side, and she lifted her axe, again, only to feel it getting suddenly much, much lighter. Oh, sweet Jesus. The head of the axe was flying through the air behind her in an elegant arc, and straight towards the other fierce redhead. Oh, well, no time to waste, and a previous-axe-turned-club was as good as anything! The skull of the imp cracked all too realistically as she hit it at the same time as the stone, but she did not give it much thought. It was just a game. Just a game.

Kill Assist - 5 XP

Oh, well, better than nothing! Completely ignoring Saerimnir, she flung her axe shaft away immediately and grabbed the pickaxe the imp had left. With satisfaction, she noticed it did one more damage than her axe had done. Just as she equipped it, another message lit up in the air in front of her.

Racial Bonus - +5 damage when wielding pickaxes, axes, and hammers.

Better than nothing, indeed!

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that the tiny dinosaur had done the same, and she gave him a begrudging nod of respect. However, even with the imps rushing at them, she had to stop and turn her head when a shrill cackling shattered the air like a bullet through glass. The hyena with the unpronounceable name was shrieking to the heavens, the mangled corpses of the imps littering the ground around him. GentleRibCrusher's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, my God, I love him," she whispered to no one, giving an imp who had gotten just a little too close a solid kick in the rear.


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