Ever since I was just a wee girl Pa and Ma, told me I was special. "Our Courageous little hero. Even the dragons couldn't best a Jurgen like you." Every morning I woke up was a morning I was always looking forward to. The divines blessed me on those days.... Why can't they now? Can't they decide to give mercy on a poor soul such as my own. Or do I need the power of bribery to help me get pass these gates of oblivion? A letter to Ma and Pa can be soothing.... But they haven't written in months. Is this just me talking to a wall?
Dating this thing may help me keep my spot... By the Gods I hate writing... I hate this academy. Yet I tell my parents I am doing fine. Their young Jurgen is the nord they dreamt of me to be... Damn dagger.... damn academy damn... How is this suppose to help? Why speak to a wall. Why let this ink bleed this journal. Perhaps my own blood should spill on this.... a lady shouldn't speak with such hate...to speak like a skeever in a ratway. The oblivion do they know.... anyway. Ignorance, and arrogance is all I hear. Since they know what's best for such a nord such as myself.
A woman doesn't like to be called ****ing yet flaunts her condescending ass like a whore all because she wasn't loved. Perhaps that's what coin does to the mer? To become ignorant and confident towards the world... Then ignorance turns to arrogance... Yet I am the one that has to suffer the consiquences of ones idiocy. I... didn't steal it....
A simple... peck on the lips is what I've done....Why does it feel... Why Just stop it!. He smiled, when he looked in my eyes. He laughed when he saw my smile... I felt his hands embraced my shoulders. He felt it... from a commoner... from a low-life... like me. What is this guilt? Why would I care for someone who doesn't care for me? Why? A nord like myself... a commoner. Can't be seen with such a noble man. Yet the mer who seeks nothing more then bloodwine and bloodlust from others... He want's a woman who loves to hate. Tis' a woman I cannot be. How is this therapy? Why do I feel so a lone with all these people, divines what have I done wr- This can't be punishment... I refuse. My brother I had to save my brother. I was young... I was nothing but thirteen. I had to. Why Bjorn did you take the blame for what I have done? His death was my fault Bjorn... I stabbed the man. I never wanted our fellow brother to die. I am sorry... How is this therapy? Gods I hate this academy. I cannot wait to leave this skeever filled academy. Only a weei left and we get to see an old Ayelid ruin...
Can the divines bless my heart? Just a nord mage get by? Or a nord being a mage just meant to be..I am not smart as the others. I am not as strong as the others... I just wanted to experience being a mage.. to help. Yet I am the crazy ****ing. Thanks for the Therapy Head Master. I feel stronger then ever.
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